How to Start Over

Starting from scratch is one of the hardest things we have to do. Most of us, however, at some point in our lives, are forced to do so. Whether you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, breaking up with a loved one, or losing your job, adjusting to your new circumstances is an incredibly important part of getting back to life. Here are a few tips to help you do that.

Table of Contents

After Divorce or Breakup

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Distract yourself. Maybe you just went through a time-consuming divorce that is stressful and draining for you. Or you just broke up with your lover. Whatever it is, gnawing on pain is terrible. You have a beautiful soul, but let it be carried away by the past and you cannot enjoy the present life. The point here is not to erase the past – to do so is to deny responsibility – but to put the past aside until you are strong enough to face what happened.

Rely on friends and family. Especially friends, they will help you forget many things. Plan an ice cream date, a movie with some girlfriends, when you watch a lighthearted (but great) movie with people who really understand you. Or go camping with some close friends, where you can light a bonfire with your catch (but if you forgot to bring your matches, congratulations!). Whatever you do, do it with friends. They will help you realize that there is more to life than just one person.
Get rid of things that remind you of your ex. You don’t have to burn all the photos of your ex-spouse or ex-girlfriend, but it’s probably a good idea to keep them somewhere safe. Again, the point of this is not to deny the existence of the person, but to keep you from seeing and not thinking about the past until your mind is really okay to face the truth. in a mature and responsible manner.
Travel for a while. If you feel like all of your ex’s memories are in one place, consider taking a vacation for a while. Go to a place you’ve always wanted to but haven’t had the chance to visit: maybe India, Europe, or somewhere close by but feels alien to you. This is for you , so don’t worry about treating yourself. Arriving in a new land will make you forget the memories related to your ex for a short time, and you also have the opportunity to indulge your curiosity like a kid in a candy store. Plan to return home in a month.

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Be aware of the problem. Hopefully, after all, you still want to go out and find someone you really want to hang out with. To do that, admit that you need to change a few things like your habits, your personality, and your behavior. None of us are perfect, but those who know how to change when needed are always successful in maintaining relationships.

Talk to a love specialist or psychologist. Love experts understand what makes a relationship and what kills it. Talking to a professional will help you understand the aspects of your previous relationship that you need to change.
Write or email the ex to ask for a comment. No matter what you do, don’t question or blame your partner for the broken relationship . The goal here is not to determine victory or defeat, but to recognize mistakes. Tell them you’re trying to change yourself and want honest feedback from someone who knows you well. Ask the person politely to have them list the things that really affected the relationship, and what you should have done differently. Remember what the person said; he doesn’t want to hurt you, even though the truth will hurt. A gentle, meaningful letter can help you heal your relationship with that person. Even if the two can only be friends, it’s a step in the right direction.
Forgive yourself and your ex. Breaking up with someone you love can be overwhelming. Don’t blame the other person for the mistakes that happened: this is a game for both parties. Instead of dwelling on the mistake or resentment, forget it. Blaming only makes you stingy; If you’re trying to fix problems in a previous relationship, there’s no reason to feel guilty. Try to let go of the negatives, so that when you fall in love with someone new, you will give that person all the trust they deserve and your inherent confidence.

After Losing a Loved One

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Don’t be afraid to express your condolences. Losing a loved one is painful, but these sudden events are a part of life. Instead of pretending that death will never happen, accept the fact that a loved one is gone and remind yourself that life is precious. To grieve is to pay homage to a loved one as much as to show appreciation for life.

If you are religious, find solace in the teachings. The words of the catechism will inspire religious believers around the world. Read what your religion says about death – you will learn things you never knew existed. If you are in a faith group, pray and worship with everyone. Don’t be afraid to lean on them when needed, that’s what they’ll do.
Cry when you need to. Don’t think that you behave properly in front of others. You should behave according to how you feel: if you feel sad, cry. Crying usually makes most people feel better when they’re not already crying ^{[1] X Research Source} . Find a shoulder to lean on when you cry, because crying alone will make you feel alone in the world, but you are not. There are many people around you who don’t know what you’re doing but still love you for who you are.
Funeral rites, like funerals, are very important. No matter how you choose to remember your loved one, remember that the farewell ceremony is important. It helps us to accept someone’s passing, even though before the day of the funeral our thoughts are always denying this fact ^{[2] X Research Source} . Funerals help us remember the deceased and help us heal our pain.

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Learn the way to accept. Losing a loved one feels unfair, but don’t try to hold onto resentment or anger. You will be healthier and happier when you accept it. Acceptance in this case is acknowledging that you have a finite amount of power and that your life cannot be fully attached to the person who has passed away, no matter how much you loved them while they were alive.

Journaling as a way to accept loss. Take 15 minutes a day – if more than 15 minutes a day will make mourning worse ^{[3] X Research Sources} – write about how you feel, how you love that person and why, life What will be yours after a year? Writing down your thoughts is the best way to clear your mind. It is also a way to save your emotions. This will help you gain a deeper understanding of your feelings when looking back at what you have written.
Meditate or pray. Meditation and prayer create fundamental beliefs for acceptance: there are many things in this world we still don’t understand (maybe never), because the world is full of bigger and greater things. we. When you meditate, try to reach a state of calm, dispel all thoughts from your imagination, and let that moment wash away your sorrows. Only when you are completely helpless will you gain strength. When praying, look to the supreme for more understanding, acknowledge your own weakness but try to learn. This request is a trust when you seek the help of the Supreme.

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Meeting people. The emotional pain of losing a loved one doesn’t ease immediately. However, it will disappear over time. With the help of family and friends, your wound will become a scar – no longer painful to the touch, but a memory of the past and a message that you have overcome it.

Thanks to family support. No matter how attached you are to your family, remember that people love you deeply just for who you are. Seek their solace. Stay with them as long as you can. Let them know that you look forward to helping them whenever they need it because they have times of grief too. Give to receive. Friendship is something that not even death can take away.
Stay with friends. If your friends can’t come to you yet, be the one to take the initiative to buy food to meet them, be with them and share the love. Like family, good friends will love you and try to understand what you’re going through. Spend time with friends to forget the sadness; because you have been wallowing in sadness for a while. Going out to the movies, watching nature, or simply talking about fashion, politics, or sports is what your doctor recommends. Your friends will remind you to make good use of your time.
If the deceased was your lover, think about dating again. Ask yourself: Does your partner want you to move on, live a full and happy life, or agonize over their loss, punishing yourself with indifference and loneliness? It will take some time to be ready to fall in love again, especially when two people have been together for a long time. However, whether or not to continue dating is a personal matter that only you can decide. But rest assured, love comes in many forms, and perhaps the best way to remember an ex is to teach another person what true love means.

After Losing or Quitting a Job

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Define your goal. What do you want to do in life? The answer to this question will help you determine what you want in your next job. Do you enjoy working outdoors, with nature? How about helping others? You want to be rich and don’t mind sacrificing family time and sleepless nights. Define your goals and next career path that will help you achieve them.

Do you want to continue working in the old field or move to a new one? Experts say that the average person will change jobs seven times in their lifetime. ^{[4] X Research Source} Ask yourself if you were satisfied with your old job. If you’re unhappy, try to determine if it’s because of the state of the job (e.g. a bad boss, because good people make your job great) or the state of the industry as a whole. .
When considering a new field, ask yourself: If money wasn’t an issue, what would I do simply because I love it? Regardless of your answer, you have a good chance of getting the job you want. If there is no job that fits your answer, consider creating your own service or business. The benefits of being your own boss are many, but the most important thing is that you set your own salary.
It is possible that you do not have the answer to the above question. You know what you don’t want to do, but you don’t know what you want to do. Don’t worry: there are many people in the same situation as you. Take a personality test — estimated to be around 2,500 articles ^{[5] X Research Sources} — or read inspirational books. A variety of books with useful, attractive, multi-dimensional information are written specifically for people who want to change jobs and find jobs. Three books that you can immediately refer to are What Cpor Is Your Parachute? (The Umbrella and Smart Direction) by Richard Nelson Bples, Do What You Are by Barbara Barron-Tieger, and The Adventures of Johnny Bunko. Bunko) by Daniel H. Pink.

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Rely on the network of relationships in life. Because it really is. Many people only apply for jobs they find online without resorting to the power of relationships. Your network of people around you can be professionals who can help you find a job. (Remember, networking also means helping others.) Many people are unaware that some jobs are not posted on job search websites, or that many companies create jobs for the people they want.

Participate in career training sessions. The orientation session is mainly for you to get information so it is less formal than a real interview and you do not need to expect the interviewee to hire you. In addition, participating in a career orientation helps you gain insight into employment and expand your network. Invite an expert in your field to lunch or coffee, tell them you just want to see them for 20 minutes, and ask insightful questions about their career and work. At the end of the talk, ask them to recommend three more people you should meet. With any luck, they will be impressed with you and may be able to help you find a job.
Prepare a self-introduction. This self-introduction will be briefly presented to experts in 30 seconds covering who you are and what your goals are. It’s important to keep your information brief in events where you meet a lot of people and you need to introduce yourself. Remember to introduce yourself in a short but engaging way. When someone asks you to introduce yourself, they don’t want to spend 5 minutes listening to you dryly talk about college or work history. They want to hear something short, concise, and impressive. If you give them what you want then you are on the right track!
Attend industry events and network. It is possible that when you were in school you had the opportunity to get acquainted with the large and dynamic alumni association, which often organizes dinners every week or every two months. Or you have the opportunity to attend a professional event that you used to go to when you were at your old job. Whatever it is, remember to go out and meet people. Meeting professionals is the best way to land a job. If you are smart, attractive, funny, and likable, people will notice and want to help you. Remember to do the same for others. The beauty of networking is that people agree to help each other.

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Follow your dream. Perhaps you already know this. You can’t find a job if you’re not actively looking. So get up, stop playing video games, dress smartly, and step outside. The only way for you to find a job is to reach out to other people instead of waiting for them to find you.

Find information yourself. Make a list of places or people you want to collaborate with. Then learn more about them. Learn their history, mission and practices. Alternatively, have lunch with one of their employees if possible. There are many things you can’t control when looking for a job, but you can control your efforts to find information. Spend more time researching the company you want to apply to than other candidates, if you are interviewed, your efforts will pay off.
Actively market yourself. You can call or meet in person. Make a list of organizations, companies, or people you want to work with, and give them a call or meet in person at the office. Please speak to a Human Resources representative and ask if they have any open positions. If they do, demonstrate that you’re a good fit for the position, demonstrating your understanding of their practices and goals. Send your resume or email the company after the chat. If you make a good impression on the Human Resources representative, you will have a better chance of getting the job when you come to the interview.

Advice

Never say: “I should have done it differently” or “if I had taken them to the doctor sooner…”. Blaming yourself is like poisoning yourself. Accept what happened and move on because you really can’t change anything.
Never hold negative thoughts in your mind, get rid of it and replace it with positive thoughts, for example instead of thinking “I can’t afford this job” think “This is my job”. perfect for me” or ditch the “I’m not too young to go to school” mindset and replace it with “It’s never too late to learn and I’m excited to go to school”. Think in a good way and never think in a bad way.
You can always go on living. Believe in yourself and don’t let sad things hold you back.
Rearrange furniture. Sometimes memories in a room or house are difficult to erase. Take the time to change the position of furniture, pictures, etc. This will bring a new feeling and the memories in the new place will only be yours.

Steps

After Divorce or Breakup

After Losing a Loved One

After Losing or Quitting a Job

Advice

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