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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 19,397 times.
There are many good and bad points about being a quiet person. Many people consider reticence/confidentiality to be excessive shyness or even apathy, even though that is often not the case. Being a little more quiet/recognized doesn’t necessarily bring about social change, but rather personal choice. With a little practice and understanding, you can become quiet and reserved and still keep all your friends and be yourself.
Steps
Be quiet and discreet
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Find friends who understand you. One misconception about quiet and reserved people is that they have no friends. This is simply incorrect. In fact, many quiet/confidential people find it easier to build deep friendships with others, in part because they focus on getting to know the person rather than gossiping or rambling about themselves. [1] X Research Source
- You don’t necessarily need to find other quiet/secretive friends, but make sure the people around you always understand your quiet/secretive tendencies.
- Find people who understand and accept you for who you are. If you don’t know who they are in your social circle, try talking to the people around you and get to know them.
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Become more aware of yourself. Some quiet, reserved people find that their personality traits allow them to manipulate their emotions. [2] X Source of Research Acknowledging and understanding your own feelings about a person, concept, or topic is important in cultivating self-awareness, helping you navigate well. more in this world.
- Take time to reflect on your day. If you’re trying to become calmer and more introverted, take some time off to reflect on yourself and your day. [3] X Research Sources
- Identify what life experiences have been most meaningful to you or have enlightened you, and consider why these experiences have changed who you are and how they have changed you. [4] X Research Sources
- When you talk to people close to you, ask them for candid feedback on your behavior and beliefs. Let them know that you want to be more aware of yourself and your own way of thinking and acting, and an outsider’s perspective will greatly help you understand yourself better. [5] X Research Sources
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Nurture your hobby. People with introverted personality types spend a lot of time and energy on something they are passionate about. [6] X Research Source This is of course not true for all quiet/reckless people, however, it is still a common trait that can help you become more grounded and comfortable with your personality. his quiet/discreet way.
- Think about your childhood. What activities do you like the most? If you’ve ever enjoyed drawing/drawing with your fingers, maybe you should try the arts. If you used to enjoy reading and writing, try taking a writing class. The things that mean the most during your early developmental years may still be stuck somewhere in your mind. [7] X Research Sources
- If you still can’t find your passion, think about the things in your life that spark your curiosity. What excites you in your daily life? [8] X Research Sources
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Learn to overcome social situations. If you are a quiet/reserved person, you are more likely to feel apprehensive or resentful in many social situations. For some people, even going shopping can be stressful because they have to deal with strangers. Fortunately, there are a few ways you can get through social situations without feeling too stressed or uncomfortable, including:
- wearing headphones while walking, on public transport, or while walking around the store [9] X Research Source
- stay away from people who look upset or upset [10] X Research Source
- stay away or politely distance yourself from small chats with strangers [11] X Research Source
Dialogue with others
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Find a comfortable space. If you’re a quiet and reserved person, you may not feel comfortable having a private conversation in the middle of a shopping mall or school cafeteria. Many introverts find it easier and less stressful to converse in a quiet and relaxed atmosphere. If possible, find a comfortable space before starting the conversation. [12] X Research Source
- Noisy, chaotic spaces are often not conducive to deep dialogue. Ambient noise will often cause you and the other person to speak louder and more directly, which can be intimidating for many people. [13] X Research Source
- Some people think that uncomfortable warm environments can also affect their deep thinking. [14] X Research Source
- Know where you feel most comfortable, and try to arrange conversations in similar locations or surroundings as much as possible.
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Practice your listening skills. Quiet, reserved people are usually good listeners. [15] X Research Source The reason is that people with such personality traits often think and process information before speaking. [16] X Research Source People often turn to introverts when they need someone to help solve a problem or give advice. [17] X Research Source
- Listen carefully to what others say. [18] X Research Sources
- Decide when and what to say. Please keep your answers short and simple. [19] X Research Source
- Think carefully before you answer anything. [20] X Research Source
- If you need some time to think before you answer, say something like, “Um. I have something to say about this, but give me some time to think.” [21] X Research Source
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Ask lots of questions. Questions are a great way for quiet/discreet people to get to know others. Asking questions will help you to engage with others without feeling pressured to talk endlessly, something that many quiet/confidential people find shy or uninteresting. [22] X Research Source
- The best questions are open-ended questions. Don’t just ask yes/no questions. Instead, listen carefully to what the other person has to say, and from there ask probing questions that show interest in the story and a desire to get to know the person sincerely. [23] X Research Sources
- Instead of yes/no questions like, “Did you enjoy growing up in Hanoi?” Ask open-ended questions that require discussion, such as, “What was it like to be born and raised in Hanoi? What do you like and dislike most about living here?”
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Always be yourself. Remember that there is no shame in being quiet and reserved. In fact, in some countries, silence is a desirable personality trait! [24] X Research Source By talking less and listening more, you will avoid unintentionally offending others by misunderstanding because of unclear dialogue. [25] X Research Sources Furthermore, when you meet people you enjoy talking to, your interactions with them will be much more meaningful.
Advice
- Always be yourself.
- Find your comfort zone. You’ll probably need a balance between your calmness and your interactions with others, especially when work or school requires you to be obligated to socialize with strangers. Find ways to manage conversations so that you feel comfortable and being yourself.
X
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 19,397 times.
There are many good and bad points about being a quiet person. Many people consider reticence/confidentiality to be excessive shyness or even apathy, even though that is often not the case. Being a little more quiet/recognized doesn’t necessarily bring about social change, but rather personal choice. With a little practice and understanding, you can become quiet and reserved and still keep all your friends and be yourself.
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