How to Write an Apology Letter

Saying sorry in person will often show more sincerity, but a formal letter is sometimes the only option to apologize or may be preferred. To write an apology letter, you need to admit your mistake at the beginning of the letter, acknowledge the other party’s hurt feelings, and take full responsibility for yourself. In many cases, you need to come up with a solution to fix the problems related to the root of the problem. If you want your apology to be sure to be effective and not hurtful, you should try to be clear and sincere when writing your letter.

Table of Contents

Expressing apologies

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Write about the purpose of the letter. Begin the letter by letting the recipient know that this is an apology letter. This will help them mentally and emotionally prepare to finish reading the letter. You should not leave the other party confused as to why you are writing the letter, or wondering what you will write in the letter.

Write sentences similar to: “I want to write this letter to apologize to you.”

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Acknowledge your error. Once you’ve admitted you’re at fault, determine what your mistake was and why it wasn’t right. Expressed accurately and in detail. When you present and analyze the problem, the recipient will know that you really understood what you did.

For example, you might write: “My actions last weekend were very inappropriate, disrespectful, and too selfish. Your wedding is to express your happiness and honor your love. But I drew attention to myself when I proposed to Lan Anh. I took your precious moment, and that’s not true.”

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Acknowledge how much you upset them. Acknowledge that they have been hurt and that you understand their sadness. This is also the right time to say that you never want them to get hurt.

Say things like: “Phuong told me that my actions not only ruined the memorable moment of your wedding, but also made your honeymoon lose the wonderful happiness it should have been. I hope you understand that I never meant it. I want you to remember only happy things when reliving that moment, but my selfish actions ruined everything and robbed you of your happy moment. Even though I don’t really understand how you feel, I certainly understand that I did what was probably the worst thing ever done to you.”

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Express your gratitude. It’s optional, but if you want, you can acknowledge the efforts and good things they’ve done for you in the past. This will show them that you appreciate them and are truly sorry for what you did.

For example, “What I did to you was horrible after all the warm feelings you gave me when you welcomed me into your family. Not only did you show your beautiful love for your sister, but you also gave me support and kind treatment that I would never have dared to expect. My actions betrayed the love you gave me and I hate myself for this.”

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Responsibility. This is one of the most important parts of an apology letter, but also the hardest to say. Even if the other person is at fault in part, you should not bring it up in this letter. What you need to do is openly admit responsibility for what happened. Your actions may be justified, but you shouldn’t shy away from admitting what you did that upset the other person.

Say things like, “I wanted to explain what I did, but thinking back I see no excuses for what I did. My intentions, no matter how good, mean nothing here: it was just my bad choice. I accept full responsibility for my selfish actions and the sadness I have caused you.”
Don’t make excuses for your actions, but you can carefully explain why. If you really feel it is necessary or will help improve the situation, you can explain why you made that choice. Only do this if you think the other person will be more comfortable understanding why.

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Offer a solution to change the situation. Just saying sorry is not enough. An apology will be more persuasive if you figure out how to deal with the problem in the future. This is even better than the promise that you will never make that mistake again. When you come up with a change plan and how you’re going to do it, the other person will see that you’re serious about wanting to improve the situation.

You might say, “But just apologizing isn’t enough. You deserve more than that. When you come home, Lan Anh and I want to hold a big welcome party for you. It will be the biggest party ever and is entirely dedicated to honoring the great love he has for his sister. It’s okay if you don’t like parties, I just want to find a way to help you have those memorable happy moments that I took from you.”

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Describe that you would like to have better interactions in the future. You shouldn’t ask for forgiveness right away. This may sound demanding on the person you’re apologizing to, even though you don’t mean it. Instead, you should express your wish that the two of you will interact better in the future.

Say, “I can’t expect you to forgive me, even though I hope so. I can only say that I really want things to be fine between us. I want you to feel comfortable and finally happy when we meet. I hope our relationship will be as good as before. Hopefully we’ll get through this and have more fun times together.”

Apologize properly

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Don’t promise to change if you’re not 100% sure you can keep your promise. This is very important. If you’ve made a mistake that you feel you’re likely to make again, or it’s because of a fundamental difference in personality or values, you shouldn’t promise to change. Chances are you’ll repeat the mistake again and apologize again, and that’s not sincere.

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Consider words. Apologizing is actually a skill. In essence, no one wants to do this and often has to fight with themselves. That’s why you need to be careful when using the language in your letter if you want to apologize properly. Some words sound like sorry but actually make the situation worse because it implies that you don’t really know the fault. It’s very easy to accidentally use these words, so you should be careful when writing your letter. Some examples include:

“Mistake happened…”
An “If” clause, such as “I’m sorry if you’re upset” or “If you’re upset about this…”
“I’m sorry that you felt that way.”

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Sincere and honest. When apologizing, you need to be sincere and honest about your apology. If that’s not the case, perhaps in many cases you should wait until you really feel guilty before apologizing. When writing letters, you need to avoid formal words and stereotypes. Don’t just copy something from the internet. You need to be specific about your situation so the other person knows that you really understand what happened and why it wasn’t right.

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Avoid making assumptions and expectations in your apology letter. You probably don’t want your letter to sound demanding, rude, or even more hurtful. You don’t want to try to make the other person feel guilty by not forgiving you or making the letter imply it. You also shouldn’t make assumptions about how they feel and why they’re upset, as you’ll likely reveal that you don’t understand much of what happened. It’s best to use modesty and let the other person feel in control of the situation. This expression will probably make them forgive you.

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Wait a day or two before sending the letter. If possible, you should wait a few days before submitting. You need to reread the letter when the emotions have subsided and separated from what you wrote.

Mail presentation

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Choose the best way to start your message. With an apology letter, you should start your letter with a casual greeting like “…dear”. It is best not to start the letter with fancy words and keep the greeting as simple as possible.

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End the letter politely. If you don’t know any other way to end the letter, you can use the basic greeting “Sincerely…”. However, you can also be a little creative so that the letter doesn’t seem like a sample letter. Try using sentences like “I really thank you for listening to me” or “Once again, I am very sorry for the trouble I have caused, I hope to be able to fix the problem”.

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Consider presenting a formal apology letter. In a business or formal setting, you need to make sure your apology letter has the right form. In addition to printing on neat paper, you should also include the date, your name, organization name, signature, and formal presentation.

You can also adjust the style of your letter to better suit the situation.

Advice

You just say what you think. Sincerity is key. If you promise something, keep it.
You may have to control your pride when you’re apologizing. Narcissism won’t do you any good; After all, good relationships are priceless.
Make sure the letter is not too short. A few lines of text will not work in this case. Show the person that you put a lot of time and effort into the letter.
If writing a long letter is difficult, you can ask a friend or family member for help. They know what you want and will be happy to help.
Try to blame yourself, don’t blame someone else. This shows your responsibility and maturity.
The letter should be brief and courteous; Get straight to the point and take full responsibility for yourself.
Try to explain why you do it. This can make the other person more agreeable if they know that you don’t mean malice.

Warning

Don’t add anything else that might upset the recipient, as this will not take your letter seriously and probably won’t forgive you.
Remember that an apology can’t magically fix things. If the other person doesn’t forgive you, let it go and know that you tried.

Steps

Expressing apologies

Apologize properly

Mail presentation

Advice

Warning

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