How to Write a eulogy for your dad

Writing a eulogy for your dad first can be a heartbreaking experience. It’s completely normal to feel sad and anxious while writing such a personal eulogy, so take care of yourself throughout the writing process. To start your eulogy, spend some time brainstorming ideas. Think about your most cherished memories of your dad and how they might fit into the eulogy. From there, you can start writing. Write an essay that shows how much your dad means to you and how grateful you are for his presence in your life. Since writing a eulogy for dad can be an emotional endeavor, practice a little before giving your eulogy to make sure you’re okay talking about your dad publicly.

Table of Contents

Prepare before writing the eulogy

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Remember that it is a eulogy and not an obituary. A eulogy is different from an obituary. An obituary is an overview of events in a person’s life. It includes information such as achievements, career, place of birth, surviving family members, etc. The eulogy focuses on the core qualities of the deceased. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Since the obituary is fact-based, it is often less emotional. A eulogy focuses on a person’s story. What is the meaning of this person’s life? What does this person mean to you?
Avoid listing achievements, and include too many facts about the person. Instead, focus on stories and memories that tell about a person’s character.

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Brainstorm some ideas. Before you start writing, a brainstorming session can help you stay focused. Take the time to jot down your memories and stories, as well as the things you remember about your dad’s personality. This can help you come up with an idea for an obituary. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Start by writing down all the initial ideas that come to mind about your dad. What is the first thing you think of when you think of your father? What is your deepest memory of him? What words come to mind when you try to describe your dad?
Also, think about the external things you associate with your dad. What music, movies, TV shows, food, sounds and smells remind you of your dad? Perhaps you want to immerse yourself in these things as you write, as this may bring up some valuable memories for the eulogy.

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Focus on an overarching topic. A eulogy should be short and straight to the point. Don’t write a bunch of messy memories. As you brainstorm, try to find a more important topic. What is the key theme or message that ties the memories together? ^{[3] X Research Sources}

You don’t have to go into depth or interpret death, although you can admit that death is terrible and disturbing. Try to talk about the meaning of one’s life. Who is your father and what would the world be like without him?
You can find topics in vague concepts. Maybe your dad is a lawyer who takes civil rights cases. You might focus on topics of generosity, community, and helping others. Maybe your dad is a businessman who has created a career of his own. Your topic might talk about the benefits of perseverance, hard work, and dedication.
You can also talk about what you learned from your father. What was the biggest lesson he taught you? How do you incorporate that lesson in your life today?

Write a eulogy

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Introduce yourself. You may feel awkward, as many people at a funeral will know you, but it is customary to begin your eulogy with a brief introduction. Let the audience know who you are and your relationship with the deceased. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

This will probably be the easiest part of the eulogy. You just need to say who you are, and how close you are to your dad. This gives you credibility.
For example, you could start, “My name is Le Huy, we are gathered here today to say goodbye to my father, Mr. Hung. I am an only child and this special thing helps me. close to my dad. We talk almost every day, even after I leave the house to live on my own.”

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Set tone. Tone is important to a eulogy. You should maintain a consistent tone of voice while speaking. Think about what tone of voice will best convey the message you want to convey. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Perhaps you would like to speak to the family and the funeral director. You want your tone to match the funeral. For example, if it is a religious ceremony, use a mournful and reverent tone.
However, don’t let the ceremony dictate your tone. You want your tone to reflect who your dad is. If your dad is a funny guy who jokes all the time, you can use a softer tone of voice. Think of your eulogy as a celebration of life instead of grief.

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Tell a story. Most eulogy should include at least one story about the deceased. Opening with a story can help engage your audience. Choose a story about your father as if he were present. Your story should convey the overarching theme of your eulogy. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

For example, the eulogy talks about how your dad can always find joy, even though life is quite difficult. Choose an anecdote that speaks to his ability to alleviate problems under any circumstances.
Let’s say your father died of lung cancer. You can talk about how he dealt with the diagnosis with humor. You might start, “When my dad first found out he had cancer, he joked about his treatment options. I remember him saying to me, ‘Dad is very optimistic about radiation therapy. ‘. When I asked him why, hoping the prognosis is positive, he replied, ‘I hope the radiation therapy will turn me into a superhero. Who knows, I might become the next Spider-Man. ‘.”

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Focus on small details. In addition to summarizing the broad idea of who your dad is, jot down the small details. This will help engage people and provide small, realistic reminders of your dad to get through the grieving period. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Emotional details will come in handy. Maybe your dad likes to work outdoors, and he always smells earthy. Maybe your dad likes red, and almost always chooses red clothes.
Point out many small details that you remember. For example, “I remember my dad always sang old Johnny Cash songs and he had a low, baritone voice like Johnny Cash. I would wake up every Sunday morning to hear him sing ‘I Walk the Line’ ‘ from the basement, the smell of brewing coffee wafts into my bedroom'”.

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Add external citations. If you’re having trouble figuring out how to express something, add external citations. A quote or reference can help explain something about your dad. ^{[9] X Research Source}

If your father is religious, quoting the Bible can be helpful. There are many things in the Bible about life and death, so you can refer there.
You can also refer to your dad’s favorite books, movies, songs, and TV quotes. If your dad was a fan of Robert Frost, you could incorporate a line of Robert Frost’s poetry into your eulogy.

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Add a little humor. A eulogy shouldn’t be completely bleak. You should add a little humor. If a eulogy is too serious, it sounds like you are romanticizing the deceased. This can lead to incidents such as preaching or over-emotionalism. Look for some lighthearted moments where you talk about a person’s flaws. This can tell the full story of the person you are thinking of. ^{[10] X Research Source}

Think of something funny to say about your dad. Did he argue too much? Includes a funny story about him arguing over the bill in a diner long after everyone else had let it go. You might say, “Even though my dad is really funny, he’s not perfect. He can take things too seriously, and sometimes argue. I remember once, during a family vacation, we I stopped at Denny’s…”
A story that illustrates flaws should be light and natural. You don’t want to sound like you’re angry with the deceased, as this can become disrespectful. For example, you shouldn’t tell the story of a loud and heated argument between you and your dad to illustrate that he was an argumentative person. This will not create laughter. Instead, focus on a less risky situation that will make everyone laugh.

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Add a few concluding statements. When you conclude your eulogy, end with a few brief sentences that summarize your point. This is when you will get to the core of the topic. What is your eulogy trying to talk about? What do you want people to remember about your dad? ^{[11] X Research Source}

Come up with a few final thoughts to sum up your dad. Tell people directly what you’re trying to say. For example, “What I learned from my dad is that life is short and often brutal, and the best way to combat all of that is to use a smile and cherish the happy moments in life. all circumstances”.
You should also thank everyone who took their time to offer condolences. Briefly say, “I appreciate everyone being here to remember my father, Mr. Le Hung, and give me the opportunity to tell you a little more about him. I know he will. It’s an honor to know that so many people are interested in attending this farewell.”

Complete and deliver the eulogy

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Edit the eulogy and add information as needed. Once you have drafted your eulogy, print out a copy and read it again. While reading, look for moments to add content and details as needed. ^{[12] X Research Source}

Ask yourself if your eulogy makes sense. Do the stories illustrate the theme? Do you feel like something is missing? Is there a story you should include or an aspect of your dad’s personality that you could have explored more of? Is there anything that doesn’t seem relevant?
Add to your eulogy as needed. If you feel there is room for expansion, provide more information as needed. You can also trim anything you feel you shouldn’t add to the theme. Time is an issue. The average eulogy should only last 5 to 7 minutes.

Advice

Keep the length of your father’s eulogy to about 5 or 10 minutes. The length doesn’t matter, but you will find it difficult to speak for more than 10 minutes about your deceased father.
Make eye contact with those who are in tears as you deliver your eulogy. This will help you make more connections with your audience than you would by just looking at the paper to read.

Steps

Prepare before writing the eulogy

Write a eulogy

Complete and deliver the eulogy

Advice

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