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This article was co-written by Meredith Walters, MBA. Meredith Walters is a career coach, helping others develop the skills they need to find meaningful and satisfying work. Meredith has over eight years of career and life coaching experience, including holding coaching at Emory University’s Goizueta School of Business and the US Peace Corps. She is a former member of the board of directors of ICF-Georgia. She earned a coaching certification from New Ventures West and a master’s degree in business administration from the University of San Francisco.
This article has been viewed 46,560 times.
Interacting with others is an inevitable part of most work environments. Unfortunately, from time to time you may encounter a coworker who annoys you. It is important that you know how to work with someone professionally, even if your personal relationship with that person is uncomfortable. Through learning how to adjust your work to deal with that situation emotionally, there are many ways you can work with someone who doesn’t get along well with you.
Steps
Adjust work
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Try to limit interactions. While it’s not always possible to completely avoid co-workers, you can try to limit interactions as much as possible. Avoiding this interaction is probably the easiest way to deal with it.
- Perhaps some interactions are inevitable, especially if the two of you work directly together. However, you can avoid talking to the person in the break room or during breaks. If you notice the coworker walking in, politely ask permission to leave by saying, “Oh, I have to get back to work. Nice to talk to everyone.” [1] X Research Source
- When you must interact with that coworker, behave professionally. Avoid talking about personal or non-work related matters, when dealing with someone who doesn’t like you, this will lead to negative interactions. [2] X Research Source
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Be kind to people who are upset with you. A lot of psychological research has shown that it is very difficult to hate someone who likes you. If your co-workers feel that you respect and like them, it is possible that their displeasure towards you will gradually disappear. [3] X Research Sources
- Talk to someone else in the office that you love and respect about the problem with the other coworker. Such information may be transmitted indirectly. Your colleagues will be more inclined to believe that information if it does not come directly from you. [4] X Research Sources
- Show genuine interest in the person’s words. People tend to like people who care and notice them. You should still avoid the person when possible, but if you must interact with them, listen to what he/she has to say actively. This will help reduce the coworker’s discomfort with you. [5] X Research Sources
- Small and friendly interactions will also help. Something as simple as “good morning” can make significant contributions. [6] X Research Sources
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Separate work life and private life. If you have trouble interacting with a colleague, try to separate your work life from your private life. You don’t have to socialize with co-workers outside of work. If your co-worker doesn’t like you often at Friday night parties, avoid attending these events and meet friends you know outside of work. [7] X Research Sources
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Report the situation if it gets out of your control. You probably don’t want to report unnecessary behavior. However, you should report behaviors that affect your ability to work. Speak to the person in charge of Human Resources if the situation is beyond your control.
- Management can help resolve the situation if your ability to work is affected. You should record your interactions for about a week so that you have solid information to present if you want to report it to your superiors. [8] X Research Sources
- Make sure you focus on how the person’s behavior affects the company. Speak objectively and explain how your work performance and morale are affected by that coworker’s attitude. [9] X Research Source
- Remember, this is a last resort. You don’t want to be branded as a gossip in the office. You should only report your colleague if you feel he/she is harassing or attacking you and continues to do so despite your best efforts to avoid or correct the situation. [10] X Research Source
Coping emotionally
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Keep a healthy perspective. Emotionally, keeping a healthy perspective is one of the most effective ways to deal with a negative coworker. Focus on your dreams and career goals. Avoid getting into petty arguments at work.
- When you feel discouraged, think about where you want to go next year or the next five years. How important is this coworker to your long-term goals? How long will the two of you work together? Your annoying co-worker probably won’t show up in your career in the long run. [11] X Research Source
- Can you learn from such situations? Try to see the situation as a lesson in how to treat others. If a coworker’s annoyance is affecting the work you do, don’t repeat this behavior in the future. [12] X Trusted Source Harvard Business Review Go to Source
- Remember that your coworker’s feelings may have nothing to do with you. Perhaps they are fighting their own problems. This is not always easy, but you should try to empathize with them.
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Leave the situation. Words are always easier than actions, so sometimes the best way to deal with negative situations is to find a way out. Try to ignore the behavior by not reacting to it. [13] X Trusted Source Harvard Business Review Go to Source
- Practicing relaxation techniques throughout the day can help. You can try to calm your thoughts by focusing on the present moment. Pay attention to your body, your breathing, and your surroundings. This can help you not be upset by your coworker’s actions but instead focus on the material things around you. [14] X Trusted Source Harvard Business Review Go to Source
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Find support outside of the workplace. No matter what you do, don’t speak ill of your co-workers to others in the same workplace. This will only affect you badly, it can easily reach your coworker’s ears and make the situation worse.
- Sometimes everyone needs to vent. If you want to express all your feelings, that’s okay too. However, talk outside of the workplace. Talk to friends and family members instead of people you know at work. [15] X Trusted Source Harvard Business Review Go to Source
Situation analysis
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Consider the views of your colleagues. Even though it’s hard to accept, it’s possible that something you’re doing is making your coworker uncomfortable with you. Try to get into your co-worker’s mind to see if you have engaged in any behavior in the past that was not against them.
- Jealousy often leads to hatred. Your co-workers may see you as more successful or see you as having an advantage that they don’t. Since you can’t completely eliminate co-worker jealousy, consider whether you’re getting too cocky or bragging about your successes. If so, this can lead to discomfort. [16] X Research Source
- People can mistake shyness for rudeness. If you simply don’t interact with your coworker often, he or she may think you’re difficult to get along with. Trying to be friendly can make the situation better. [17] X Research Source
- Do other people at work like you? If not, you may be unintentionally engaging in behaviors that make others uncomfortable. Try talking to your close colleague and ask him what he thinks about your behavior. Find out if anything you’re doing makes other people uncomfortable. [18] X Research Sources
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Recall previous interactions with that coworker. Take a close look at past interactions with your co-workers. Sometimes, we get upset with someone just because of an inappropriate action. Maybe you said or did something that made them unhappy.
- It can be a very simple thing, like you unfortunately don’t wait for them to enter the elevator one day. You may have inadvertently said something insensitive, like a comment about his or her outfit that was inappropriate. [19] X Research Source
- If you’ve made any mistakes in the past, apologize to your co-workers. If the displeasure stems from a minor misunderstanding, it can be resolved with a brief conversation. [20] X Research Source
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Assess your stress level. Be honest with yourself about how distressing the situation is for you. If you can’t separate your work and personal life, it may be time to find a new job. However, be aware that in any environment there are difficult people. If those difficult co-workers are really bothering you, maybe you should see a doctor to manage your stress levels.
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This article was co-written by Meredith Walters, MBA. Meredith Walters is a career coach, helping others develop the skills they need to find meaningful and satisfying work. Meredith has over eight years of career and life coaching experience, including holding coaching at Emory University’s Goizueta School of Business and the US Peace Corps. She is a former member of the board of directors of ICF-Georgia. She earned a coaching certification from New Ventures West and a master’s degree in business administration from the University of San Francisco.
This article has been viewed 46,560 times.
Interacting with others is an inevitable part of most work environments. Unfortunately, from time to time you may encounter a coworker who annoys you. It is important that you know how to work with someone professionally, even if your personal relationship with that person is uncomfortable. Through learning how to adjust your work to deal with that situation emotionally, there are many ways you can work with someone who doesn’t get along well with you.
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