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This article was co-written by Laura Bilotta. Laura Bilotta is a marriage and love expert, matchmaker, and founder of Single in the City, a dating and relationship consulting firm based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of dating counseling experience, Laura specializes in dating, relationship, and human behavior coaching. She is the host of the radio show Dating and Relationship on channel AM640 and Apple Podcast. She is also the author of “Single in the City: From Meetings & Breakups to Love & Marriage, stories & tips to find your perfect match.”
There are 14 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This post has been viewed 36,485 times.
While this is a hard truth, it happens quite often: people use each other to get what they want. Sometimes, it also happens to romantic relationships. If you think you are being taken advantage of by her, you should watch for the following signs; If you notice that your crush shows a lot of the same things, she may just be taking advantage of you.
Steps
Look for early signs
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Evaluate your position. Find out what women want from you. From good looks to rich money, or owning a luxury car, they can take advantage of you for many things. Your reputation can also be a factor in your being taken advantage of, whether you’re a big name in a small college or even a fairly well-known person. [1] X Research Source
- Of course, other people not only take advantage of you because you are famous, but whoever you are, you can be taken advantage of. For example, if your relationship is one-sided, like you always have to drive her around, you are probably being taken advantage of.
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Assess her status. See if she just wants to hang out with you if you take her somewhere fancy. Does she just want to go to places where other people can see the both of you together… Maybe she just wants to hang out with you to meet some co-workers. Be careful if she’s more interested in this than in spending time with you. [2] X Research Source
- Maybe she’s looking for someone to give her a literal, free ride, or someone who’s always there when she needs something.
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Pay attention to demanding calls. If she only calls you when she needs to, she’s taking advantage of you. She will want you to fix things or buy something for her. You should pay attention to when she calls you and how she talks to you on the phone. If she only calls you once every few weeks and seems like she’s just asking for help, she doesn’t really have feelings for you. [3] X Research Sources
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Check for signs of work-related flirting. If she wants to chat with you in the company, she’s trying to use you to get a promotion. You can test it out by asking her out on a date, but you should be careful, because the relationship at work will be quite difficult. Similarly, if she works elsewhere but only calls you during work hours to ask a few things, she may well be just taking advantage of you. [4] X Research Sources
Watch for signs when dating
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See if she asks to pay on your behalf. Some women often think that the man should be the one to pay. However, this mindset is no longer relevant. If she never asks for money on your behalf, even if you refuse, you are being taken advantage of. [5] X Research Sources
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Assess if she is really listening. This means that when you’re talking on the phone or seeing each other, you should notice if she just wants to talk about herself. If she doesn’t take the time to listen to you, she’s not ready for a long-term relationship. [6] X Research Sources
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Check to see if she just wants to choose where she wants to go. This will be a sign that she just wants to do what she wants. Alternatively, maybe she’s just calling you to talk about an event going on in the area and she wants you to pay to attend, like a big concert or the opening of a new club. . [7] X Research Sources
- She may also become hesitant about your offer, but get excited when she wants to go somewhere. [8] X Research Sources
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Assess whether she is someone who is afraid of being tied down. If she still wants to have other options, instead of tying herself to you, she wants to “catch many hands”. Or she is just cheating on you. [9] X Research Source
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See if she only calls you when she wants to have sex. If she only calls you late at night, like after 10 or 11 p.m., she just wants to have sex with you. You don’t have to consider her schedule like she’s late calling because she just finished school or just finished work. Of course, if you both agree to this type of relationship, that’s fine too. But if you want to go further, you’d better end it. [10] X Research Source
Pay attention to how she treats you
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Waiting for an apology. Sometimes, anyone will make a mistake. You will have to apologize and move on. However, if she never seems to want to apologize to you, this is a sign that she’s not interested in the relationship. She will use her tears to turn the situation around without having to admit that she was wrong. [11] X Research Source
- Of course, the apology must come from both sides. You also have to be willing to apologize in the relationship.
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Watch how she introduces you. If she’s proud to be in a relationship, she’ll be happy to call you her boyfriend. However, if she doesn’t want to go public about you, she’s just taking advantage of you, especially if you’re both extremely private. [12] X Research Source
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See if she likes recommending you. Does she want you to meet her friends and family? If she’s dodging questions about the issue, she’s just taking advantage of you. People who are really excited about being in a genuine relationship will want you to meet everyone they care about. [13] X Research Source
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Consider the times when she avoids you. Did she suddenly “disappear” when you were in need. Does she show up when you have to take your car in for repair, even though sometimes you’re the one giving her a ride? If you find out that she only hangs out with you when you can provide her with material elements, you are being taken advantage of. [14] X Research Source
- Similarly, if she’s always sweet and gentle when she asks for something but then turns mean once she gets it, she’s just taking advantage of you. [15] X Research Source
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Make sure she values your time. For example, if she frequently cancels plans, she doesn’t value your time. It’s okay to cancel a date from time to time, but if she always pulls out at the last moment, this could be a sign that she doesn’t have feelings for you. Similarly, if she often wants you to change your plans, she doesn’t care about the things you value. [16] X Research Source
Face to the problems
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Let her know how you feel. Think ahead about what you want to say, and remember to add a few specific examples of why you think she’s taking advantage of you. [17] X Research Source Do not get angry or protest. You should remain polite and calm during the conversation. See her thoughts on the situation. [18] X Research Sources
- Be prepared to accept anger. If a girl is using you, she will deny it and get angry. If she feels she’s not taking advantage of you, she’ll be angry at your accusations. [19] X Research Source
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Discuss each other’s needs honestly. You should learn about her needs and expectations in the relationship. At the same time, you should also present your needs and hopes. Negotiate how the relationship will progress from there.
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Be ready for what’s to come. You only have one or two options in this situation. You need to find a way to build a new kind of affection into the relationship, or you need to end it forever. [20] X Research Source
Advice
- If you find out that she is just using you, you can confront her about the issue, which will change the situation. However, you may need to end the relationship. [21] X Research Source
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This article was co-written by Laura Bilotta. Laura Bilotta is a marriage and love expert, matchmaker, and founder of Single in the City, a dating and relationship consulting firm based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of dating counseling experience, Laura specializes in coaching on dating etiquette, relationships, and human behavior. She is the host of the radio show Dating and Relationship on channel AM640 and Apple Podcast. She is also the author of “Single in the City: From Meetings & Breakups to Love & Marriage, stories & tips to find your perfect match.”
There are 14 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This post has been viewed 36,485 times.
While this is a hard truth, it happens quite often: people take advantage of each other to get what they want. Sometimes, it also happens to romantic relationships. If you think you are being taken advantage of by her, you should watch for the following signs; If you notice that your crush shows a lot of the same things, she may just be taking advantage of you.
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