How to Tell If Your Ex Wants You

The relationship is over, but it doesn’t mean you and your ex are ready to leave each other. If you still have feelings for your ex and are wondering if he feels the same way, you’ll want to pay attention to how he interacts with you and how he behaves around other people. However, the best way to tell is to have an honest conversation with the person – interpreting their behavior is seen as an incomplete way to determine if the person is interested in renewing the relationship. relationship or not.

Table of Contents

Observe your ex’s behavior towards you

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Think about what you know about the person. Examining your understanding of yourself, your ex, and the relationship is the best way to figure out how to interpret the behavior you’ve observed. You should think about your relationship and how your partner communicates and deals with conflict. Is he or she an outspoken person? If so then they won’t hide their feelings and you will be able to tell if they miss you. Has your partner ever avoided you when angry or upset? Perhaps their silence at the moment means that they are not longing for you – maybe they are upset, angry, and don’t want to talk. Is that person someone who clings to things and dwells in the past? If so, they’re probably thinking a lot about you. You should use your understanding of your ex and about his or her personality to interpret his or her behavior toward you.

You should remember that behavioral interpretations are selected through the biases and desires of the observer (when it is a personal relationship), and therefore, you tend to see things that are not real. . If your ex likes to text and you haven’t heard from them since you broke up, don’t try to interpret this silence as a sign that he or she misses you. You should consider this behavior from a more objective point of view.

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Pay attention to how often the person contacts you. If your ex doesn’t miss you, they will only contact you when necessary (for example, to arrange a time when they can come and remove their belongings from your house). If your partner misses you, they will have a hard time resisting the urge to call, text, email, etc. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Sometimes, your ex contacts you for no particular reason. He or she may say something like, “Hey baby! I was just wondering how you are these days.”
The exception to this might be when your ex is the same person who ended the relationship, but also expressed a desire to maintain the friendship. In this case, contacting you could be a sign that the person misses you, but it could also be that they simply want to maintain the friendship.
If your ex is regularly “drunk calling” you, which means he or she contacts you in the middle of the night after having a few drinks (and hence, less restraint), there is a good chance that Chances are the person has some feeling that they can’t handle.

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Think about how the person will behave when contacting you. If they contact you, they’re probably looking for an excuse to call so they don’t look like they’re in constant contact for no particular reason. He or she may ask for advice or ask for help in dealing with the problem. He or she may also try to redirect the conversation to a deeper topic. For example, they will talk about what they want to achieve in life or the thoughts they have about the life they want to live. ^{[2] X Research Source}

When that person contacts you, do they “accidentally” call you by the nickname they used when you were together? This slip-up could show that they still think about you.

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Pay attention to how long it takes them to contact you. If you contact your ex, how quickly does he or she respond to your texts or emails? How long does it take for them to call you back? While an example of spending hours responding won’t necessarily mean anything, if the person consistently ignores you for hours or days, they probably don’t miss you as much as you expect. . ^{[3] X Research Sources}

If your ex is completely ignoring your calls and texts, you should avoid sending more texts or making more calls. If you miss the person, this is quite a difficult thing to do; However, imposing a rule on yourself that you won’t contact the person will help you move forward.

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Observe the person’s body language. If you’re in the same place as your ex, you should pay attention to their body language around you. If the person avoids looking you in the eye, crosses their arms or legs, and doesn’t smile, they don’t feel happy around you. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

While body language is a great indicator of how a person is feeling in the moment, it can’t tell you everything. For example, maybe the person misses you terribly, but acts as if he doesn’t care about your presence. This is probably because the person is afraid of being hurt again.
Try to observe the person’s body language and combine it with the information you already have. For example, if their body language is saying that they don’t want to be around you, but they call you every day, it could mean that they really miss you, but are feeling defensive about the situation. your presence.

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Notice if they show up where you usually go. If your ex randomly shows up at your company, or somewhere they know well that you usually go, it’s probably not a coincidence. ^{[5] X Sources of Research} If you both know the same number of friends, he or she may find out where you will be and “accidentally” show up there.

If your ex is at the same place you are, don’t forget to observe their body language. Does he or she often glance in your direction? If so, they are also trying to observe your behavior.

Observe his or her behavior around others

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Check out the person’s social media. If the both of you are still friends on social media, you should watch the person’s posts and interactions carefully. Does the person often post a lot of vague and/or sad posts (sad songs about lost love, etc)? Do they post comments on old photos of the two of them or “like” them? If so, this could be a sign that your partner is having a hard time with the breakup. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

However, you should remember that social media is not an accurate description of what is going on in someone’s life. Even the average person who posts a lot of pictures looking like they have the perfect life could be dealing with a huge emotional problem.
Don’t go overboard in checking your ex’s social media. You should respect the other person’s privacy, and limit yourself to only checking once a day.

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Pay attention to how your partner behaves around you in social situations. If the two of you are still seeing a group of friends that you both know, you should carefully (but discreetly) observe how your partner behaves when you’re both in a group of friends. If your ex seems annoyed to see you in a group of friends, and tries to avoid interacting with you, it could be because they are dealing with lingering feelings. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

However, you need to be careful. Maybe they’re still dealing with old feelings, but this doesn’t necessarily mean they miss you. For example, the person may be very angry with you because your actions hurt them. You should try to judge their behavior based on the context of the breakup and previous interactions.
Notice whether your ex often glances at you even when they’re interacting with other people. This may mean that they also want to observe your behavior in order to consider your feelings.

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Chat with friends you both know. If you both have some mutual friends whom you can trust to keep your investigation private, you should ask them if they’ve mentioned anything about you. Your mutual friends will be able to give you insight into your partner’s condition. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

If the two of you have a few friends in common, but you’re afraid they’ll let your ex know you’ve been asking about them, it’s okay to ask questions spontaneously. For example, instead of asking directly, you could say something like, “I was wondering what [ex-girlfriend’s name] was like? I know he has an important exam coming up, and I hope all goes well.” Maybe they’ll get what you mean, but it won’t be as obvious as saying, “Did [your ex’s name] say anything about me?”
However, you should avoid constantly bugging your friends about this topic. You can bring it up from time to time, but if you talk about it often, they’ll get annoyed.
If your mutual friends say something like, “Sorry, but I don’t want to get involved in this situation,” you should respect their wishes. This doesn’t mean they don’t care about you; it’s that they care about both of you and don’t want to be drawn into a “he said this, she said that” situation or have to choose sides.

Chat with your ex

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Decide if this is a good idea. The easiest and most direct way to determine if your ex misses you is to ask them directly. Unfortunately, for most people, this is the scariest method; however, simply talking to the person is the quickest way to find out what’s going on.

You need to know that depending on the person, some people will not be honest with how they feel, especially if they fear you are trying to hurt them.
If you and your ex can’t communicate without turning it into a fight, meeting up and trying to talk about the topic isn’t going to be a good idea.
Asking the person directly can be intimidating, but it will help you avoid ambiguity in the long run – instead of spending time trying to interpret their silence or the meaning of those smileys. If he uses it, you will know for sure if he wants you both back together or not. If not, you can start trying to let go, move on, and not waste your time on someone who no longer wants to date you.

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Contact that person. You can contact them via text or email, but the fastest way is probably to give them a phone call. You should keep the conversation light and friendly as much as possible. Ask if your crush wants to go out for lunch or coffee with you because you want to talk about something.

Understand that the person may refuse. If the person refuses to meet you, this is a pretty good sign that they don’t miss you, or if they do, it means they are not ready to meet you. You need to try not to become angry. Instead, respect their wishes.

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Maintain lightness. If this is the first time the two of you have seen each other since the breakup, the situation is likely to feel awkward. You should be the one to initiate and try to keep the situation light as much as possible. Check in with them (for example, ask about work or study), and let them know something about what’s going on in your life. ^{[9] X Research Source}

Try to steer the conversation to light elements and don’t jump right into discussing your relationship. This will help lift the mood, and let the person know you’re not trying to start an argument.

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Waiting for the right time. If you are at a restaurant or coffee shop, and are ordering food and/or drinks, you should wait until you have received them before stating the reason for the meeting. This will help ensure that you are not constantly interrupted by waiters waiting for you to order, bring your food, etc. ^{[10] X Research Source}

If you’re ordering a drink, you should steer clear of alcoholic beverages (if this sounds familiar to you). While you might think that having a few drinks will help you relax, it can also make you say things you don’t want to say or make you emotional.

Advice

Be prepared for whatever lies ahead. If you want to find out if your ex misses you because you want the two of you back together, you should be prepared to face the fact that your ex may have moved on.
You need to get rid of your pride when you talk to your ex. It can be easy to become sarcastic and defensive if you’re unsure of your partner’s feelings for you, but behaving this way will keep them from being honest with you.

Warning

Don’t calculate. You should consider why you want to find out. If it’s simply that you want to feel as though you “won,” you’re not doing it for the right reason.

Steps

Observe your ex’s behavior towards you

Observe his or her behavior around others

Chat with your ex

Advice

Warning

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