How to Tell if an Older Guy Likes You

Is that lovely older guy flirting with you or just being friendly with you? You’ve probably had the experience of guessing if guys your age like you, but how do you know if there’s an age gap between you and him? Older guys have a few key differences in how to flirt that we’re going to tell you here to explain things. Read on to see if these expressions sound like your guy – and if he likes you!

Table of Contents

He is open to you.

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How often does he confide in you about his thoughts and feelings? As they get older, guys often value openness and trust in relationships over frivolous things like appearances. ^{[1] X Trusted Source PLOS ONE Go to the source} Show your interest by actively listening to what he has to say to build trust and draw closer to him. If you feel comfortable, don’t be afraid to share with him about your life experiences, feelings, and even your views!

Ask him open-ended questions to learn more about him.
Encourage him to continue by saying something like, “Go on!”
If he talks about anything that makes you uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to set boundaries and say, “I don’t really like talking about this. Next time, can you ask me before saying something like this?”
Strong relationships are often based on shared values and ideals, so share and listen.

He shows a sincere interest in your life.

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Notice when he asks you insightful questions. Mature guys, especially those who value lasting love, often want deep relationships. They really want to get to know you for who you are. ^{[2] X Trusted Source PLOS ONE Go to the source} Just be yourself when answering him to show him how awesome you are. Here are some examples of sincere questions he might ask you: ^{[3] X Trusted Source Greater Good in Action Go to source}

“What do you value most in a relationship?”
“Are you close to your family?”
“Is there something you’ve always wanted to do?”

He always finds a way to be by your side.

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Does he often invite you out? Does he show up to your favorite places hoping to run into you? While younger boys may play catch with you, ignore you, or cancel your date at the last minute, older guys often want to spend some good time with you. If he keeps asking you out, then he has a crush on you and really likes you!

Studies have shown that, as people get older, people tend to focus on their most important relationships and let go of those that don’t mean much to them. ^{[4] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}
Nice guys (regardless of age) behave respectfully and give you space. If he doesn’t want you to hang out with the other guys or follow you everywhere, that’s a red flag. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

He tries to help you in any way he can.

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Does he offer to help you whenever you tell him you’re having trouble? Whether it’s a small problem at school, at work, or in life, if he likes you, he’s going to want to help you out. That means he’s interested in you and could be a nice guy, too. Older guys often want to prove they can protect and provide for you (even if you also have a strong and independent personality). ^{[6] X Research Sources} Ask yourself questions like:

“How did he react when you told him about your problem?”
“Does he ever offer to help you, even when it’s not convenient for him?”
“Is he helping everyone or just you?”

He brags about what he has for you.

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Notice the times this guy talks about his success. He may try to show off when talking about his education, career, and skills. Older brothers love to show that they can provide for you to convince you that he is a good choice. ^{[7] X Source of Research} After all, they also have more time to study, accumulate finances and build a career. ^{[8] X Research Sources} He can brag about things like:

Luxurious vacations ever experienced
Expensive items ever bought
Achievements or positions in the workplace
The positives that people say about him

He texted to check on you.

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Does he text you more than once a day? We’re not talking about “how are you?” messages. Look out for messages like “Good morning or “Good night” that ask about your day, what you’re thinking, and more. Here are some signs in texting that he likes you: ^{[9] X Research Source}

He immediately responds to your texts because you are his first priority.
He texts two messages at once to get your attention.
He asks in messages and sends long messages.
He’s respectful when you’re busy and doesn’t panic when you don’t respond.

He asked if you had a girlfriend.

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He’s trying to figure out if you’re already in a relationship. He can follow you on social media or ask directly if you’ve had anyone. This is a clear sign that he has feelings for you and wants to make sure you’re not tied down. He can find out about your relationship status in ways like:

He asks your friends and colleagues if you already have a lover.
He mentioned that he was single: “I’m single so I don’t go to restaurants very often.”
He asked a male friend of yours: “Are you and Lan getting to know each other?”

He compliments you.

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Did you notice the times he said something really cute about you? Usually older guys will like to give sincere compliments, but it depends on the type of flirting the guy has. His compliments can be fun, teasing, or sincere and profound. Pay attention to the things he says about you that he really likes. ^{[10] X Research Source}

He mimics your body language.

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Notice his posture when you’re with him. A guy who likes you may adjust his posture and gestures to mimic you. For example, he may also cross his arms when he sees you crossing your arms. ^{[11] X Research Source} Next time you see him, try these:

Lean forward slightly toward him when sitting across from him at the table, or turn slightly toward him when standing. ^{[12] X Research Source}
Notice if his posture or posture changes.
If he likes you, he might even stand up straighter or use positions that take up more space. ^{[13] X Research Source}

He touches you affectionately.

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Does he lightly touch your face, shoulder, waist, or arm? Those are the places people touch the most when flirting, and this kind of touch is a clear sign that he really likes you! ^{[14] X Research Source}

If his touching is inappropriate or makes you uncomfortable, tell him to stop: “Next time don’t touch me without asking first.”

He flirts with you through his eyes.

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Does he look you in the eye and then look away? Quick glances are an old flirt that still works regardless of age. When he looks at you like that, he is trying to confess his feelings to you even though he is a bit shy. In fact, the gesture of looking someone in the eye can increase attraction. ^{[15] X Research Source}

He may try to make eye contact with you from across the room or through the crowd.
When he’s talking to you, he may maintain eye contact with you to show he’s completely focused on you.

He always smiles when you are around.

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Did you see his eyes light up when you walked into the room? A polite smile might just be a friendly greeting, but notice if he smiles a lot when you’re around. If both of you often laugh together, it’s a great sign that your feelings for each other are more than just friendship. ^{[16] X Research Source}

Steps