How to Talk to Your Lover About Oral “Love”

Most men view oral sex as an intimate and pleasurable part of the lovemaking process, but not all women are open to giving or receiving. That’s why you should discuss it together to figure out your concerns and make your partner more comfortable. Starting a conversation about the subject is difficult because both you and your partner feel uncomfortable and awkward, but discussing this sensitive issue will help you build trust and attachment even if you don’t. She objected as soon as you mentioned it. The first step is to ask (there are many ways to do this), you need to choose the most open and respectful ways.

Table of Contents

Mention with caution

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Talk roughly about your sexual desires and fantasies. This can be a rather awkward conversation, but it can also be light and fun if you both agree not to judge each other. What ideas or postures do you like? What funny but provocative ideas get you excited? Do you share it with her? You should remember that, while this is not yet a deep and serious conversation, it does bring up intimate topics that can lead to the topic of oral “love”:

Make a list of the five places where you most want to have sex, even if some of them are weird or funny.
Buy books about sex or visit adult websites, research interesting or weird positions you want to try.
Share any odd thoughts or secret desires with each other. If you can find a way to make both of you happy, you’ll be closer to your goal. ^{[1] X Research Source}

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If oral sex seems a bit far-fetched, gradually upgrade your sexual explorations. If oral sex is what you want, but it makes things happen too quickly, start with smaller adventures. “Foreplay” is a safe and low-risk way to discover each other. Or you can talk a little mundane. Kiss the other person’s entire body, getting to know every inch of each other’s bodies. Once these thresholds are crossed, oral sex becomes more receptive and becomes the next inevitable step.

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Discuss your sex life regularly. If you are in a mutually binding relationship but can’t have a conversation about sex and never bring it up to discuss again. Why can so?! Whether you guys talk about sex or not, sharing about your sex lives is an important part of developing and building a relationship. What’s more, it will bring you closer to talking about oral sex once you’ve both discussed sex openly and honestly.

Once you’re more comfortable with each other, is there anything new you’d like to try (oral sex or something else)? Ask her the same question.
When it comes to sex, don’t hesitate to bring it up. “How’s our sex life these days?” It’s a great and endless topic to discuss. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Talk about how she feels

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State your wishes in simple, open words. When you’re talking about sex, don’t try to “suck around” or subtly make her bring oral sex in. You need to take the initiative first if you want her to do the same. Remember, your sex life is shared, not just you, and this is for both, not just her.

“I want to add the two of you to oral sex and see how it goes.”
“I think the two of us should start learning about oral sex, if you and I are comfortable.”
“I really want you both to get underneath each other, I want to try and make it an important part of our sex life.”

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Let her voice her opinion, listen to her opinion without comment. Listen fully even if it’s not what you want to hear. Pay attention to your partner’s thoughts and concerns, whether or not she has a lot to say and whether or not it resonates with you. You have to state your wishes so that if she doesn’t agree, at least she knows what you like. She’ll keep that in mind, and if you’re understanding, respectful, and understanding, she’ll probably feel more confident and I’m sure she’ll think about it on her own terms.

Remember, all you can do is talk about your desires – be honest about them and she will do the same for you.

Get close to each other

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Try to keep the atmosphere light and fun instead of serious and strict. Don’t be obsessed with movies that vividly portray sex as a very serious act with soul-shaking power. In a more realistic way, especially when it comes to bonding relationships, sex is a natural, somewhat awkward but enjoyable flow that only the two of you share with each other. You may underestimate having a light-hearted, cheerful attitude, but if the initial awkwardness and problems can be resolved with a smile, people will dare to try new things. than.

If there’s a moment you’re enjoying, let her know right away! This is the best way to build comfort, trust and a great sex life.
If something “isn’t right,” just smile! In the event of an unexpected event like you falling out of bed in some way, don’t be afraid to laugh out loud – it doesn’t shake the emotions.
A fulfilling sex life is filled with calm and pleasant emotions, so there’s nothing easier than giving each other a smile. ^{[6] X Research Source}

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Once you’ve discussed oral sex, let her initiate it – don’t put pressure on her like “we talked.” Never demand , scowl, force, or demand “love” from her. you take it for granted, especially when things are tense. You’ve done your part, she’s expressed her opinion, and what both of you need is time. When she is ready, she will start on her own.

If you’ve discussed bringing oral sex into the relationship, and weeks or months have passed without a change, you should bring the conversation back into the relationship at some quiet and respectful time.

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Incorporate oral sex little by little into your sex life instead of making it the focus. Not all types of oral “love” apply to “climax”. A good way to make her feel at ease is to make love with your mouth during “foreplay,” then move into a position where both of you can naturally relax. This will help her find her comfort level, keep the fun alive, and move up to a high level of harmony.

Satisfy her

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Try discussing the use of oral sex for her as well as talking about satisfying yourself. Oral sex isn’t just for you. Two lovers have an equal obligation to satisfy each other’s sex life, so you should ask questions about what to do and what she likes when it comes to oral sex:

“Do you like it when I move to your bottom?”
“What should we do to make sex more interesting than you?”
“I mean oral sex for both of us – what do you think?”

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Let her lead the discussion, putting her needs first. This is not the time to talk about your desires and expectations, but hers. Oral “falling in love” is something that one person does for the other, so they must be comfortable while you satisfy them. This doesn’t mean that you don’t have to feel good and comfortable (of course you will!), it does mean that you need to put her needs first, as long as you stay within your comfort zone. mine.

If she’s uncomfortable with oral sex, ask her why. In general, women often have the misconception that their vulva is “not clean” or “the most embarrassing place,” and no man wants to come here. Reassure her that you are not. ^{[9] X Trusted Source Go Ask Alice Go to Source}
Does she know what she likes or doesn’t like?

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Be honest and proactive about your own desires, concerns, and/or discomforts. If you want her to talk about how you feel, you need to do the same. Not all men are completely comfortable with oral sex, and that’s why you need to talk about it. You also have to relax yourself to be able to “love” her orally in a harmonious way. Does that mean you have to admit, is there any part of oral sex that makes you unhappy, or on the other hand, do you really enjoy moving down on her more often now?

What is the “no-go zone” for you?
Is there anything you would like to try or add in the future?
What do you think about us trying oral sex together? ^{[10] X Trusted Source Go Ask Alice Go to Source}

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Use oral sex as a prelude to learning about each other’s bodies. Don’t put pressure on your partner to fully satisfy you through oral sex, especially if it’s a relatively new move. Instead, have oral sex to give you a “warm-up” to the things you’re more comfortable with. If you both volunteer to try new methods, you can slowly cuddle for longer or become more intimate, rather than putting all the pressure on one person to do everything. ^{[11] X Research Source}

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Pay attention to feedback through your partner’s actions. Only she knows if that’s great or uncomfortable, so listen to her! Assure her that you won’t be offended if she wants you to do something because this is the only way to learn how to work with her body. More importantly, getting her directions on what you do well will help you focus more on her needs and pleasures.

Listen to her voice, moans, and body language. You should remember, to have a great experience, you need to focus on the other person, not yourself.
If she doesn’t like talking or making comments during sex, stick to simpler ways – maybe she’ll tug at your hair when she’s interested in something or pat you on the shoulder if you do. something not very good.
If she seems to be enjoying herself, continue what you are doing. Satisfying the one you love isn’t a complicated move in chess — so go bold! ^{[12] X Research Source}

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Always consult her before moving on, especially if it’s something you’ve never done before. New positions, experiments or games are a fun part of sex life, but that doesn’t mean it’s a surprise! Asking for advice won’t cut the interest or suddenly interrupt the fun – you can easily include it in foreplay or light casual talk (e.g. “I really want to ______, you, baby.” Do you want that, honey?”). Counseling is an ongoing act between lovers, not a separate conversation, so you can do this during sex. If you are trying to voluntarily introduce oral sex into your life, say first:

“Do you want us to try ________”
“Do you want me to continue?”
“I’ll _______. Tell me if you’re uncomfortable!” ^{[13] X Research Source}

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Poll her on the part you like the most. Ask questions based on what you think you did well, such as “Do you like it when I __________” or “Would you rather __________?” Don’t force her to answer – sometimes she’s focused on her pleasures and can’t stop to think – but asking is a good way to show her that you make her feelings a priority.

Advice

Always dress neatly and keep the intimate area clean. If you regularly pick up and are not clean, your partner will be concerned about hygiene.
Remember that your girlfriend or wife is not a high school movie star. Adult movie stars are very professional and proficient at this, but the person you love is not. Never expect everything to turn out the way you see it in the movies.

Warning

Although oral sex is safer than other forms of intimacy, it can still spread sexually transmitted diseases if it comes in contact with a partner’s fluids.

Steps