How to Talk to Parents

Sometimes it’s not easy for parents and children to spend time talking openly with each other. This is because parents are often afraid that they are interfering too deeply in their children’s lives, and children think that parents are not interested in what they want to share. Whether you feel like your parents are often overly critical or don’t know how to start a conversation with them, you can plan and use a few communication tools so you can talk and share more with them. than.

Table of Contents

Plan a conversation

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Be brave. Whatever the problem, when you share it with your parents, you will feel a lot lighter. That’s why don’t worry, stress or shame, your parents are always there to listen to your thoughts. Maybe they know more than you think. ^{[1] X Research Source}

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Don’t worry that your parents will get upset or have a negative reaction. With proper planning and communication, you will have the conversation you want. Remember, worried parents are because they care and want the best for you, so they’ll probably be happy that you want their advice when you’re in trouble. ^{[2] X Research Source}

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Don’t shy away from talking. Any problems and embarrassment won’t go away on their own if you always try to avoid talking to your parents. Relieve those tensions by talking openly with them. Your parents will always try to be understanding and solving problems in this way will help reduce anxiety and stress. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

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Determine who you want to talk to. Do you want to talk to both mom and dad or just mom? Maybe you’re closer to your mom than to your dad, or vice versa, so ask yourself if it makes the most sense to confide in your mom or dad. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

There are some issues where it’s easier to talk to mom or dad alone. If mom is a calmer person and dad gets angry easily, you should talk to her first, then talk to her with her dad, or vice versa if dad is a calmer person.
You should know that mom and dad will talk to each other about your problem, even if you’re talking to only mom or dad. That’s why it’s best to talk to both of you, but tactfully ask for help from one parent to talk to the other if it feels better. For example, if you don’t want your dad to feel alienated because he only told his mother about your bullying at school, ask her to talk to him about it if you’re afraid he’ll get angry because you weren’t strong enough. Stand up and defend yourself.

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Choose a time and place to chat. Find out about your parents’ timetable so you know when it’s best to talk to them. Don’t start a conversation while your parents are busy thinking about a meeting or preparing dinner. The location of the conversation is also important, you should avoid places where there are distractions, such as the TV or where a parent’s co-worker can interfere. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

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Expected results. You probably know exactly what you want when you talk to your parents, but your parents can give you a myriad of different reactions. Be prepared for all of that. Ideally, the conversation should go the way you want it to, but otherwise that’s okay. You are never alone because besides your parents, you can talk to many other people, such as teachers or other family members.

If the outcome of the conversation isn’t what you expected, there are a few things you can try:
- Talk to your parents again. Maybe it wasn’t the right time, if you’ve had a bad day, your parents won’t be in the mood to talk openly with you. For example, don’t ask your parents for permission to go to the school prom if they’ve just been late for your sister’s concert.
- Skip. You shouldn’t upset your parents and make it harder for them to let you do something in the future. If you have had a polite, open conversation and both sides have clearly expressed their views, then you should accept your parents’ opinion. Showing that you’re mature enough to respect your parents’ point of view will let them know that you have control over your emotions, and this will help them be more open to the issues you want to share. share in the future.
- Get help from others. You can ask your grandparents, friends’ parents or teachers to help you convince your parents. Your parents always have a protective mentality, so asking someone else to say a few words will most likely convince them that you can control the problem. For example, if you want to go somewhere, you can ask your brother or sister to convince your parents that they have been there and can take you to be safe.

Start a conversation

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Write down what you want to say. You don’t have to write it out word for word, but at least outline some of the main ideas. This will help you organize your thoughts and shape the flow of the conversation. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

You can start the conversation with something like: “Dad, there’s something really stressful for me and I want to talk to you,” “Mom, can I talk to you about this?”, ” Mom, Dad, I’ve made a big mistake and I really need your help.”

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Talk to your parents about ordinary everyday things. IF you don’t talk to your parents often then start by talking about the little things that happen in life. When you have formed the habit of sharing everything with your parents, it will be easier for them to understand you, and this will also make you closer to them. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

It’s never too late to talk to your parents. Even if you haven’t spoken to your parents in years, start with simple sentences, you can say things like: “It’s been a while since you talked to us, we spent some time talking to you. baby”. Surely your parents will be more touched and open to you.

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Investigate parents’ reactions. If the topic you want to talk about is too sensitive or you know for sure that your parents will have a negative reaction, don’t get into the main topic. Instead, ask probing questions to predict your parent’s reaction or hint at something you want to say. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

For example, if you want to talk about love, you could say: “Mom, my classmate Hanh and her lover have been dating for a year, you two seem pretty serious. Do you think 11th graders’ love is serious?” By borrowing your friend’s story to confide in, you can predict somewhat how your parents will react to your story. However, don’t be too obvious because maybe your parents will notice your intentions and ask about what you really want to say.

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Know what you want to achieve. It can be difficult to lead a conversation without knowing what your ultimate goal is. Ask yourself this so you can use the right communication tools. ^{[9] X Research Source}

Make your parents listen

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Present the problem clearly and directly. Make it clear to your parents what you think, feel, and want. It can be stressful and difficult to control your words, so be prepared to stay calm and give detailed examples until you’re sure your parents understand what you’re saying. display. ^{[10] X Research Source}

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Be honest. Do not exaggerate or misrepresent the truth. It can be hard to keep your emotions under control when talking about a sensitive issue, but speak honestly and make sure your parents are listening. If you’ve ever lied or often exaggerated things, you need to be patient, because it may take time for your parents to believe what you say. ^{[11] X Research Source}

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Understand the parent’s point of view. Predict your parents’ reaction. Have you talked to your parents about similar problems? If you know your parents will object or react negatively, let them know that you understand why they hold that opinion. By showing that you understand your parents’ thoughts, they will also be more open to your views. ^{[12] X Research Source}

For example, if your parents are still worried about letting you use a cell phone, you could say, “Dad, mom, I know you don’t want me to have a cell phone because the first thing is it. It’s quite expensive, moreover, using a phone also requires a lot of responsibility and parents don’t think it’s necessary at their child’s age. Maybe your parents see other girls in your grade who have their own phones and think it’s a waste because they only use it to play video games or use social media like Instagram. But what if your child saves money to buy a phone and uses a prepaid service to ensure he can control his finances? You can also check out the games and apps your kids download because they just want to use them for a while while waiting for their favorite volleyball game or when we’re busy with something.”

Presenting difficult issues

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Predict results. You may want to talk to your parents for one or more of the following reasons: ^{[18] X Research Sources}

I just want my parents to listen without judgment or advice.
Want your parents to support or allow you to do something.
Want parents to give advice
Want your parents to lead, especially when you’re in trouble.
I want my parents to be fair and not forceful.

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Identify your feelings. This can be difficult, especially when you want to talk about sex or open up about issues that you haven’t talked about before. Feeling embarrassed or nervous is completely natural when talking to your parents about difficult topics. Identify your feelings and share them with your parents to make your heart lighter. ^{[19] X Research Source}

For example, if you are worried that your parents will be disappointed, let them know. You can say, “Mom, I know you’ve told me about this before and maybe what I’m about to say will disappoint you, but listen and give me some advice. “.
If your parents get angry very easily and are sure to have harsh or negative reactions, let them know that you think about it but still muster up the courage to say it. Be on the fence in advance and address the issue in a positive way. “Dad, I know you’ll be very angry when I say this, but I think I should still say it because I know you love me very much, and if you get angry, it’s just for the sake of me.”

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Choose the right time to talk. If you have had a long and tiring day, your parents will be more likely to have negative reactions. Unless it’s urgent, you should wait for the right time to speak. Wait until they are comfortable and ready to open up to talk. ^{[20] X Research Source}

For example, you could ask, “Dad, is it convenient for me to talk to you for a moment?”. When you go for a walk or drive with your parents, it can be a very suitable time, however, if you do not have the opportunity to go with your parents, you can also create your own time.
Make sure you have what you’re going to say or write down the main points to make sure you don’t miss anything. Don’t let your parents lead the conversation while you are left in a passive and unprepared position.

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Find another solution

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Compromise. You won’t always get what you want, so don’t be too stubborn when your parents say things you don’t mean. If you present your point of view politely and listen to what your parents have to say, they will be more open to you in subsequent conversations. ^{[21] X Research Source}

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Talk to another adult you trust. Sometimes, parents are busy with their own problems in life. If your parent is an addict or mentally ill, you can confide in another trusted adult. That person can be a teacher, relative, counselor, and many more. ^{[22] X Research Source}

Before talking to someone you don’t know, do some research on the person and ask a friend for help if needed.

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Behave in a mature way. If you choose not to talk to your parents, deal with the problem maturely. Do not shy away from any matter especially when it comes to your health and safety. If you want to let your parents know who you’re asking for help, tell them frankly and politely. ^{[23] X Research Sources}

Advice

Mornings can be a stressful time as parents have to rush to work to avoid rush hour or are busy thinking about the day’s work. So, if you choose this time, talk softly.
Paying attention to the little details, a “Thank you” or “Hello mom and dad, you did well at work today” can make all the difference.
It’s okay to disagree with your parents’ point of view, as long as you respect what they say.
Getting ready for dinner can be a great time to chat because everyone is busy with something and not everyone is paying attention to you.
Be confident and don’t be afraid.
Spend some time reading books, blogs, or forums about how to communicate more openly with your parents.
If you don’t agree with your parents’ point of view, give yourself time to calm down before reacting angrily and negatively. Take a few deep breaths. After you’ve calmed down for a few seconds, start explaining your point.
Make sure you’re not in a hurry, not busy, bored or tired. Try to talk to them at a time when everyone is comfortable and you are ready to talk.

Warning

The longer you delay talking about difficult issues, the more stressed you’ll feel. If your parents find out that you are still hesitant to say something, it will be difficult for you to have the desired conversation.
Be patient when talking to your parents, especially when it comes to sensitive issues. Don’t let anger affect how you think about things.
If you and your parents don’t get along well, it may take time for them to be able to talk to you openly and comfortably.

Steps