How to Stop One-sided Love

Avoid getting drunk and calling or texting the other person. Especially in the early stages, you may feel a strong desire to get in touch with that person. ^[25] When you’re sober, your willpower may be strong enough to get you through this, but it’s well known that alcohol will make you make the wrong decision. ^[26] Drunk and berating the other person for not loving you, or crying and telling people your pain can embarrass you and make the other person difficult. bear. Also, doing so makes it harder for you to become friends with them later on. If you think you are in danger of doing such unfortunate things, ask a friend for help.

• Give your phone to a friend (preferably a friend who doesn’t drink) and tell them not to give it back, no matter how drunk you make excuses or pleas.
• Remove that number from your phone. As such, you will no longer have a way to call or text the other person.

Distract yourself. It’s impossible to think about nothing at all, but you can redirect your thoughts to something else every time you find yourself in a rut. As the memories come back, distract yourself with another thought, activity, or project. ^[27]

• Call a friend. Read a good book. Watch a funny movie. Create something. Garden. Decorate. Find something that engages you long enough to let go of the other person for a while. The more you get used to stopping thinking about the other person, the easier it will be to get over them.
• Spending a certain amount of time just thinking about that person is also a good tip. Don’t spend too much time on these things, about 10 to 15 minutes should be enough. When you find yourself starting to think about that person again, you can tell yourself, “Not now. I’ll think about it later.” And when that time comes, you can think about that person. When the time is up, think about something else and do other things.

Remember that not being able to reciprocate your feelings also hurts the other person. You may feel like the world is full of pain when you’re rejected. However, many studies show that the person who rejected your love can also feel very sad. Most people don’t like to hurt others. ^[28]

• When you know that the person also feels bad for not being able to reciprocate your feelings, you can take a different look at the situation. Usually, someone doesn’t love you because they’re bad, they hate you, or they want to hurt you.

Make a list of your good points. When you’re rejected, you’ll likely believe your “cynical ego” is right. Don’t let yourself believe that you don’t deserve to be loved just because someone rejected you. Studies show that when you remind yourself that you deserve to be loved, it’s easier to get over rejection now and in the future. ^[29]

• Jot down all the great things about yourself you can think of. If you can’t think, ask a friend for help.
• Show that you love yourself for it. For example: “I may not be strong right now, but I’m very good at roller skating and I’m proud of it.” ^[30]

Avoid things that remind you of the past. If you are constantly reminding yourself of the other person, you will have a hard time getting over this unrequited love affair. Don’t listen to songs or go to places that remind you of your good times. ^[31]

• Things that remind you of the past can be anything. From a photo of that person on Facebook to a song related to them. Maybe it’s a scent (like apple pie, for example, because you and your partner once competed for apple pie, for example).
• If you happen to come across something like that, take note of it and try to get over it. Don’t cling to the emotion it brings. For example, if you hear a song that reminds you of the other person, turn it off or skip to another song. Acknowledge the feelings of sadness and regret you’re having, and then turn your attention to happier things (what you’re having for dinner tonight or plans for an upcoming outing).
• Remember, you don’t have to hide from them forever. You’re trying to make it easier to get over the pain, and recalling the past makes things harder. When you get over it, sometimes the memories still come flooding back, but it will make you less painful.

Talk to someone. It’s best to let go of your emotional and emotional burdens during your psychological recovery. If you hold onto those feelings, you will find it much harder to express them later. Find someone to talk about every mood and what you’re going through. ^[32]

• Find someone you can trust. Maybe it’s someone who isn’t trying to force you to calm down. It could also be a family member you can call every time you feel down. It could be a psychiatrist, especially if you’re really having trouble getting over a long-term relationship, or it has to do with other issues. ^[33]
• You can write down your feelings if you don’t want to talk to others. The good side of this is that you’ll be able to track your recovery. This will also be proof that you can get over the pain of emotional rejection.
• Talking to someone who has been through something similar can also help. You can ask about their experience and how they overcame this.
• People who have been through the same thing will understand other people’s problems. You will have to explain less to them and they will understand you more.
• Do not share with people who have never endured such sadness, especially if they make fun of this. Never mind, because they haven’t experienced it, they won’t understand.
• Strengthening your belief in a superior (God, Buddha, etc.), spiritual strength can be a very powerful weapon to help you stay resilient during difficult times. ^[34]

Strengthen relationships with others. One of the “side effects” of rejection, especially in love affairs, is feeling abandoned or isolated from others. You may not have had the relationship you wanted with that person, but you can strengthen your relationships with other people in your life. ^[35]

• Studies show that communicating with the people you love helps you recover faster. Psychological trauma often manifests itself very clearly. You will overcome sadness faster when you spend good time with your loved ones.
• Pleasure is important because of its effects on the brain. Feeling happy will reduce anger and help you feel more optimistic. ^[36] Laughter is also the best medicine: it stimulates the body to produce endorphins, a natural happy hormone. It also increases the body’s tolerance to pain. ^[37] So, go see a funny movie, sing karaoke comfortably, dance on a spring mattress… Have fun, laugh, and recover gradually.

Eliminate bad thoughts. Certain ways of thinking can derail your recovery and make it difficult to walk through this love story. ^{[38] [39]}

• Remember that you can live without that person, and that person is not perfect either. You can totally fall in love with someone else.
• Remind yourself that people and situations change. Feelings of the present also won’t last a lifetime, especially when you deal with them more proactively and positively.

Take this as a learning experience. No one wants a broken heart. However, if you can take this as a lesson for yourself and learn from it, it won’t just be a sad memory in your life anymore. You can use it as a motivation to move forward later. ^[40]

• Example: Find the good points of this incident. You have confessed all the feelings that the person did not accept. But anyway, you were very strong, brave and daring to get hurt. If we don’t dare to suffer, we won’t be able to connect with others or feel deeply emotional things like happiness and love. ^[41]
• Let’s see if this is related to a larger problem. There are some people who always have feelings for those who have rejected them. This is especially noteworthy if, as a child, you did not feel secure in your relationship with your parents. ^[42] If you’ve been in love with someone who rejected you more than once, you may subconsciously choose to love people who are similar to your parents. Perhaps it would be helpful to talk to a psychologist about this.
• Remind yourself: through this experience, you will learn to be strong and rely on yourself to get through it. Rejection isn’t the most enjoyable way to learn it, but if you focus on learning instead of wallowing in pain, you’ll come out stronger. ^[43] You can also better understand your own feelings and needs. ^[44]

Life change. Studies show that doing new things (like going on vacation or taking a different route to work) is one of the best ways to break old habits and replace them with new ones. ^[45]

• If your finances are not strong enough to do something big, try doing small things every day. Let’s go to a new place in the city. Try hanging out with a new group of friends on a Saturday night. Rearrange furniture in the house. Join a new band. Learn a new hobby like cooking or climbing.
• Avoid doing things that are too reckless, unless you are sure you want to do so. This is the time when many people decide to cut their hair or get a tattoo. It is best to wait until your mind is stable before making such changes.

Find yourself again. When you love someone so much, you may forget what it feels like to be yourself. Overcoming a one-sided love is the most suitable time to find yourself after the feelings for that person. ^[46]

• Self growth. Don’t change yourself just because the other person doesn’t like you. ^[47] However, if there’s something you want to improve in yourself, go for it. Let’s learn a new foreign language. Exercise according to the new schedule. Take a flamenco guitar class.
• Improve your other side as well. While you spend so much time thinking about that person, many interesting aspects of life have been neglected by you. Spend more time on things and people that you missed while dealing with the pain of love rejection.
• Don’t “personalize” emotional rejection. It’s easy to feel that the person rejects you because you’re not pretty or smart enough or something like that. Learn to avoid this kind of false thinking and you will feel less vulnerable. You also won’t try to “fix” yourself to win the other person’s affections. Remember: the problem is not with you. ^[48]

Step out of your comfort zone. Trying new things will help you break out of your daily routine and forget about the person you love unrequitedly. You will be busy enough to not remember the person who rejected your love anymore. ^[49]

• Stepping out of your comfort zone has many other benefits as well. Feeling secure has been shown to reduce your motivation to change. A little bit of novelty will help you change the essentials in your life. ^[50]
• Learning to step out of your comfort zone also makes it easier to deal with future insecurities. Taking (within control) risks and challenging yourself will help you realize: hurt is a natural thing, and you will no longer feel broken every time something goes wrong. ^[51]
• If you keep assuming your rejection is your fault, you may never want to try something new again. Dare to take risks, even small ones, will keep you from shrinking into a shell. ^[52]

Realize when you can move on. There is no set time frame for getting over a one-sided love affair. However, there are a few telltale signs: you’re ready to step over someone who doesn’t love you. ^[53]

• You start to realize what’s going on with people. Many times, you are so sad that you can only think about yourself. When you begin to care about what other people do, you will find you are recovering very well psychologically.
• Every time someone calls, you stop wondering if that person is calling (especially when receiving a call from an unknown number).
• You’ve stopped attaching your story to songs and movies about unrequited love. In fact, you have begun to care about things that have nothing to do with love or the pain of love.
• You stop imagining how suddenly that person realizes how much they still love you.

Don’t let the pain “recur”. Even when you’re ready to move on, sometimes, when you’re not careful, your pain will recur. It’s the same as removing the sutures too soon. The wound is relatively healed, but still not ready for vigorous activity.

• Avoid working with that person or letting them into your life, until you’re sure it won’t make you emotional again.
• If you feel the pain coming back, don’t worry. You’ve worked hard to get over that person, and those efforts will pay off. Emotions will come rushing in and if you give in now, things will get difficult later.

Live positive again. Go out and meet people, flirt with someone, and remember how great it felt to be pursued by someone else. Your confidence needs to be boosted – and in the meantime, you will meet other interesting people. In fact, every time someone is better than the person you’ve been after, for example, prettier, funnier, smarter, more realistic, etc., acknowledge it. You will judge things more accurately.

• You don’t have to go looking for a new relationship. Just enjoy the presence of new friends. That is very helpful.
• Beware of alternate relationships. Sometimes, finding a surrogate is what your doctor recommends, but it only works if you’re ready for it. You need to be honest with yourself and the person you’re dating that this is just a substitute. Don’t let the new person fall in love with you desperately the way you loved the other person. ^[54]