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This article was co-written by Chris M. Matsko, MD. Dr. Matsko is a retired physician with offices in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He was awarded the University of Pittsburgh Cornell’s Distinguished Leadership Award. He received his PhD from Temple University School of Medicine in 2007. He holds a Research Diploma from AMWA in 2016 and a Medical Content Writing & Editorial Certificate from the University of Chicago in 2017.
This article has been viewed 6,597 times.
Are you going on a date, sitting in math class or in a crowded room in a quiet place and suddenly want to fart? Ideally, you should be able to run outside and let loose with ease, but circumstances don’t always allow that. Sometimes, the only thing you can do is hold back your fart to avoid embarrassment. This article will show you a few ways to do that.
Steps
Strategies for holding a fart
Discreet farting strategy
- Big Cough
- Laugh out loud
- Dropping a book
- Turn on the radio
- Set an alarm on your phone
- Pretend to be on the phone
- Go “check something” on the other side of the room
- Get out and get some fresh air
- Go wash your hands
- Use the toilet
Limit the need to fart
- Certain vegetables such as beans, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, Brussels sprouts, onions and mushrooms
- Fruits like jujubes, peaches and pears
- Whole grain foods
- Dairy products such as cheese, yogurt and ice cream
- Egg
- Carbonated drinks, such as soda
Advice
- Enjoy the feeling of comfort after exhausting the excess air in the body.
- As you deflate slowly, remember not to squeeze your butt if you’re sitting.
- If you can’t hold it and fart out loud, don’t worry about it. People won’t remember for long. Just laugh out loud and people won’t make fun of you.
- If you’re in a situation where you can’t hold your fart, or you can’t fart loudly, such as in a meeting, you can try to fart in many small sounds. Squeeze your buttocks, then slowly release one side and deflate. You can fart three or more times, but the sound is definitely softer than a one-time fart.
- If you must fart, pretend it’s the sound of your shoes rubbing against the floor. Or if you’re using water, pretend it’s the sound of a straw rubbing against a cup.
Warning
- Even if you hold your fart, the excess air will definitely return, the more you hold it, the more uncomfortable it will be and the louder the fart sound will probably be, the more unpleasant the smell will be.
- While in the process of “slowly deflated”, make sure that nothing worse than the gas comes out.
- Don’t hold your fart for too long. If you hold your gas for many hours, your intestines will start to hurt and if it’s severe, you could end up in the hospital.
This article was co-written by Chris M. Matsko, MD. Dr. Matsko is a retired physician with offices in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. He was awarded the University of Pittsburgh Cornell’s Distinguished Leadership Award. He received his PhD from Temple University School of Medicine in 2007. He holds a Research Diploma from AMWA in 2016 and a Medical Content Writing & Editorial Certificate from the University of Chicago in 2017.
This article has been viewed 6,597 times.
Are you going on a date, sitting in math class or in a crowded room in a quiet place and suddenly want to fart? Ideally, you should be able to run outside and let loose with ease, but circumstances don’t always allow that. Sometimes, the only thing you can do is hold back your fart to avoid embarrassment. This article will show you a few ways to do that.
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