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This article was co-written by Annie Lin, MBA. Annie Lin is the founder of New York Life Coaching, a New York-based career and life coaching company. Annie has over 10,000 hours of coaching for clients and her work has been featured in Elle Magazine, NBC News, New York Magazine and BBC World News. She provides services individually or in groups, focusing on career, relationships, love life and personal growth. Trying to get an MBA from Oxford Brooks University. Annie is also the founder of the New York Life Coaching Institute, which offers comprehensive coaching certifications. Information: https://newyorklifecoaching.com
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 72,848 times.
Are you a shy person and always wish you could boldly speak your mind? Do you often feel like you don’t get much attention in the group and want your thoughts to be heard? Are you not appreciated for your constructive feedback in class because of your shyness? It’s not at all your fault that you were born a little shyer than others, but you can still overcome that difficulty with your own efforts. Just by changing your thoughts and actions, you can become confident and assertive when communicating with others.
Steps
Change your mind
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Know more about yourself. Perhaps you always feel insecure or become nervous and quiet when you have to meet many people. Find out what makes you cautious and fearful. Figuring out what’s causing you to be shy will help you get over it faster. Besides, you should know that shyness is not a personality but an obstacle in life. [1] X Research Source
- Don’t just focus on what you need to improve and forget about your strengths. You may be passive, but you are very good at observing and understanding others.
- You also need to identify what makes you shy. For example, do you usually withdraw in casual or formal events? Does the age and status of the person you talk to make you shy?
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Leverage your strengths. Once you know what you’re good at, make those skills a priority. This will increase your self-esteem and make you more confident. [2] X Research Source
- For example, if you know you’re good at observing and understanding others, you should focus on developing this skill. Show empathy for others. This is an easy way to start a conversation with someone you just met.
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Don’t expect perfection. You should remember that no one is perfect. Don’t let disappointment affect your self-esteem. Disappointment will make you feel insecure and depressed. Instead of focusing on areas that need improvement, acknowledge and appreciate your good sides. [3] X Research Sources
- Remember that failure and self-image are part of the learning process, so you often feel bad before you can get better.
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Improve your self-image. It is very easy to identify yourself as shy and avoid socializing. Don’t think of yourself as being different, weird, or unusual. Instead, accept your uniqueness. You don’t have to blend into the crowd or behave like everyone else. Be satisfied with yourself. [4] X Research Sources
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Use social networks. If you are inherently shy, try expressing yourself on social media. Use social media to get to know someone better. You don’t have to use social media as a substitute for regular communication. Social media can help you feel more comfortable with the person you want to get to know. [5] X Research Sources
- Try to find similarities by sharing information about yourself. You’d be surprised to know that some people have likes and dislikes just like you.
- Stay away from social networking forums that focus on shyness. This is often where many people complain about their shyness instead of trying to get over it.
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Do something you enjoy before meeting someone. If you feel nervous about going to a party or meeting, you should do something you enjoy before the event. Read a good book, listen to music, drink coffee or do whatever you like. This will help you become more curious and relaxed. [6] X Research Sources
- Doing a few aerobics before a social event will help you stay calm as your body burns adrenaline.
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Positive thinking. If you find yourself thinking negatively, switch to positive thinking. Thus, you will no longer blame yourself and easily accept others.
- For example, if you start to feel shy or nervous around someone you just met, take that as a positive sign of meeting new people. [7] X Research Sources
Act confidently
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Plan. Let’s start with the little things. You can aim to make eye contact with others while communicating. Also, try doing things you’ve never done before, like changing your hairstyle. This will help you to gradually become bolder, even though you will not be used to it and feel scared at first. [8] X Trusted Source TeensHealth Go To Source
- If you find it difficult to start a conversation, try starting with a compliment or a question. This will quickly get people talking to you.
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Join a class or group. Sign up to learn a new skill or join a group with similar interests. This is a good opportunity to meet many strangers and make friends with them. [9] X Research Source
- You’ll probably feel awkward at first, but keep going. Practice talking to the people in your group on a regular basis each week. Gradually everything will become easier.
- Toastmaster organizations are the right place to help you overcome your shyness and become confident as a public speaker.
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Don’t be afraid to talk about yourself. If you don’t know what to talk about, just talk about your life. Allow yourself to be an interesting person the way you are and don’t be afraid to let others know what’s happened in your life. [10] X Research Source
- Pointing out common interests between you and the other person will make the conversation more interesting. After a few times, it will be easy for you to converse naturally.
- Allowing yourself to be emotional during a conversation can be difficult at first, but it’s a way to help you bond with the other person and be a natural part of the conversation. [11] X Research Source
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Practice some relaxation techniques. Learn breathing techniques or stress-relieving exercises. Close your eyes and take deep breaths to clear your mind. Plus, learn some more effective communication tips. [12] X Research Source
- For example, you can learn the visualization method. Close your eyes and imagine a scene where you are happy and confident. This will actually make you more confident or at least reduce your fear.
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Make time for meetings. Don’t wait for the perfect time to show up. If you want to go from shy to confident, you need to go out and meet people first. Put yourself in a conversational situation and practice talking. [13] X Research Source
- Accept the feeling of shyness. Remember that you need practice to become confident. Don’t give up after one attempt to become bolder. Regular effort will help you communicate with others easily. [14] X Research Source
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Do something for someone else. Instead of focusing entirely on timidity and anxiety, you should turn to being concerned about others. [15] X Research Resources Take the time to help someone in need. You don’t have to do big things.
- Just spending time with a loved one who lives alone or having dinner with a friend who is having a hard time makes you stronger and others feel better, too.
- You can also be interested in the other person and ask open-ended questions to take the pressure off your communication during the conversation. People love to talk about themselves, so this is an effective communication strategy and helps others feel better about themselves.
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Practice strong posture. Make eye contact, keep your head up and your back straight. Standing or sitting in a strong position for 2 minutes reduces stress by about 25%. [16] X Research Source
- For example, sit in a chair and place your hands behind your head with your fingers interlaced. Or stand with your legs slightly spread and your hands on your waist. Those are a few poses that will help you become strong. [17] X Research Source
Practice speaking slowly. Speaking slowly can help calm you down when you feel nervous. Practice reading something out loud slowly and apply it to conversations with others or presentations. If you find yourself talking fast, you should stop and take a deep breath before continuing.
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Always be yourself . Show your true self. Don’t feel like you have to be the most outgoing person in the room. You always have the right to express yourself, even if you are calm and collected. Stop worrying about what other people think. Your self-esteem is the most important thing that helps you become confident.
- Don’t force yourself to be comfortable and confident in any situation. You will find that you can be comfortable in some social situations but not at other times. For example, you will enjoy interacting in small groups but strongly dislike large groups or parties. [18] X Research Sources
Seek professional help when shyness interferes with your life. Shyness is a normal problem for many people, but in some cases it can interfere with your daily life. If this happens, you need the help of a psychologist.
- For example, if you avoid social events because of your shyness, are unable to study or work effectively, or are constantly in a state of anxiety caused by shyness, seek professional help. physical.
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This article was co-written by Annie Lin, MBA. Annie Lin is the founder of New York Life Coaching, a New York-based career and life coaching company. Annie has over 10,000 hours of coaching for clients and her work has been featured in Elle Magazine, NBC News, New York Magazine and BBC World News. She provides services individually or in groups, focusing on career, relationships, love life and personal growth. Trying to get an MBA from Oxford Brooks University. Annie is also the founder of the New York Life Coaching Institute, which offers comprehensive coaching certifications. Information: https://newyorklifecoaching.com
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 72,848 times.
Are you a shy person and always wish you could boldly speak your mind? Do you often feel like you don’t get much attention in the group and want your thoughts to be heard? Are you not appreciated for your constructive feedback in class because of your shyness? It’s not at all your fault that you were born a little shyer than others, but you can still overcome that difficulty with your own efforts. Just by changing your thoughts and actions, you can become confident and assertive when communicating with others.
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