How to Stay Calm When Your Parents Are Yelling at You

The experience of being yelled at by a parent can be quite scary, terrifying, or simply frustrating. Whether or not you do something that gets you yelled at, it’s important that you listen to what your parents have to say, stay calm so you don’t argue back, and react in a way that doesn’t matter. can stop parents nagging right from the start. The following steps will help you respond to the scolding appropriately.

Table of Contents

Stay Calm While Listening Carefully

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Understand that yelling won’t last. Although it feels like being scolded by your parents for 2-3 hours, if you look back at the clock, you will notice that very few parents have the strength to do this. If you react appropriately to being yelled at, the situation will soon be over.

This will encourage you – realize that you are strong enough to endure the screaming.

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Do not raise your voice, cry, or whine during the procedure. Maintain silence. If you speak up, even if you use polite words and tone, your parents will still be angry, will see this as argumentative, rude, or disrespectful behavior.

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Breathe . Try to focus your attention on how your body feels when you are scolded. You may feel stressed and hurt. In this case, breathing deeply and rhythmically will help you become calmer and more relaxed.

Inhale for at least four breaths and exhale for as long as possible. You should make sure that the amount of air you inhale gets into your abdomen and causes it to swell. ^{[1] X Harvard Medical Schop Trusted Source Go to Source}

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Allow yourself to be indifferent for a moment. Sometimes, separating yourself from harsh treatment is a good way to make sure you don’t over-personalize when you’re being yelled at. ^{[2] X Source of Research} This factor is very important, because when parents are dealing with many problems in other aspects of their lives, they can easily get frustrated over little things. This is not your fault.

The best way to ignore while still listening is to focus on your parents’ faces. Be aware of every detail and the tension in their face when they yell.
Instead of trying to rationalize what your parents are saying, you should observe the frustration and frustration they are experiencing.
This way, you will remember that even if you are the one being scolded, your parents are going through a difficult time. As above, this action may be due to a stress that has nothing to do with you.

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Make some kind of gesture for your parents. For example, get them a glass of water while they’re yelling and say “I hope you don’t have a hoarse voice” without being sarcastic or disrespectful. This approach, especially if you are not the one making the mistake, will make them feel remorse and see that their scolding was not right.

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Don’t stop listening. You should make sure you’re not completely negligent – otherwise, you won’t understand why your parents are upset. If your parents stop talking for enough time for you to interrupt, you can paraphrase or repeat what your parents said to show that you were listening. Another benefit of this action is that your parents will have the opportunity to hear back everything they yelled at. ^{[3] X EDIS Trusted Source Go to Source}

Send signals to your parents that you’re listening, such as nodding, raising an eyebrow, or saying “I understand what you mean.”
Try to pay attention to words that can tell you about the cause of your parents’ disappointment. If they are yelling at you about a particular incident, focus on the details that they say over and over again. If it’s a series of different times, find out what they all have in common.

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Think before replying. ^{[4] X Research Sources} This process includes stopping yourself from yelling at them, throwing things, or slamming doors. You should remember that your strong reaction will only increase the stress level and cause the nagging to continue and even become more angry. The aggression you respond to will only make them feel misunderstood, and continue to yell more in the future.

Sometimes, parents can see the slightest sign of dissent as aggression (rolling eyes, sarcasm, slight facial mockery). ^{[5] X Research Source} So you should be careful.
Think about a reaction you know your parents didn’t like in the past. Even if you’re trying to argue with your parents because they made you feel uncomfortable and inferior, don’t engage in behavior that you know will only make them more angry.

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If the nagging becomes more and more overwhelming, resort to leaving the room. If the scolding continues to the point where you absolutely cannot react calmly, you should find a way to leave the place. ^{[6] X Research Source} Ask if you can discuss the issue later, and briefly explain that the nagging is making it difficult for you to think through the matter. You shouldn’t say something that sounds like you’re accusing a parent, like “mom and dad are driving me crazy”.

Instead, say, “I wanted to clear this up, but right now I’m too confused to talk calmly. I want to go back to my room and think about it.”
Leaving the room can be difficult, as many parents will see this as a sign of disrespect. You should do your best to make it clear that you still want to continue discussing this issue in the future.
Avoid asking parents to calm down. This is an act that can be seen as rude.

How to React to Avoid Being yelled at in the Future

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Don’t apologize if it’s not your fault. Hold your ground. If you apologize when you have done nothing wrong, you are being unfair to yourself. If you know you didn’t do anything wrong but still feel sorry for making your mom or dad angry, in most situations you can say, “Dad, I’m sorry I upset you. angry and hope that the parent will be less angry.”

Make a plan to release any lingering anger by doing something positive when possible. For example, you can clean your room or go for a jog around the neighborhood.

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Reply. You should respond to your parents in a short, polite manner and in an appropriate tone. Do not allow any sarcasm or anger to show in your voice, because your parents will think you are being hostile or negatively aggressive. ^{[7] X Research Sources} In addition, you should also avoid giving your opinion or explaining what happened when the parent was yelling. You can do this when you are calmer.

Instead, you should try to use simple affirmations like “I understand” or “I know”.
It’s okay if you don’t agree or don’t understand at all what your parents are saying. You can talk about this when everyone is calm enough to be able to express their opinions amicably.

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Accept your parents’ feelings. Remember to let your parents know that you feel upset about whatever you’ve done. Even if it’s not your fault, you shouldn’t argue about what’s upsetting your parents. Regardless of the facts, acknowledging your parents’ feelings doesn’t mean you admit they’re right or wrong. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Sorry if you’re the one making the mistake. Be sincere. If you have made a mistake, it is advisable to express remorse for your mistake.

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Seek compromise. You can ask your parents what you can do to improve the situation. However, remember to stand your ground if you are the right one! ^{[9] X Research Source} You can come up with a quick solution to help your parents stop feeling upset that could make them more likely to yell at them about other things.

The more problems you can solve, the better. If you still want to express things that you think your parents will never understand, write them down! You need to get rid of any lingering anger so you don’t suddenly take out your anger on your parents in the future.

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Talk about how you feel. Once you and your parents have calmed down a bit, you should try to present the story from your perspective. In a clear and respectful tone, tell your parents why you did what caused them to scold you. The more clearly you explain your thoughts and feelings during the incident, the quicker your parents will understand and forgive you.

Don’t try to convince your parents that you’re the right one – this will only add fuel to the fire. Especially if your actions are not supported by concrete evidence, show your parents how you understand the problem differently now than before.
You can also take this opportunity to let your parents know how miserable you are when you get yelled at. Explain how you feel and say that being yelled at makes you feel like you can’t communicate with your parents. Then, if you were seriously hurt by being yelled at, you should firmly but politely ask for a sincere apology from your parents.

Advice

Consider talking to a counselor if your parents frequently yell at you. Constantly being yelled at can be very harmful – sometimes, it can cause depression in children. ^{[12] X Research Source}
Try to maintain a positive outlook. Thinking about other aspects of your parents’ lives makes them nag. Help your parents de-stress to help them, and understand that you are not the cause of the situation.
Focus on forgiveness. Relationships will easily return to good if parents and children are willing to get over the problem quickly.
Don’t be so stubborn that you won’t give in or give in to what your parents want. Sometimes compromise is better than trying to argue, an act that can make the situation worse.

Steps

Stay Calm While Listening Carefully

How to React to Avoid Being yelled at in the Future

Advice

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