How to start a text chat with someone you just met

Texting a new acquaintance can seem a bit complicated. You want to get to know the other person and let them know something about you, but you don’t want people to think you’re trying too hard. Fortunately, you don’t have to think about it much. Here we have many tips to help you start the conversation!

Table of Contents

Introduce who you are when texting for the first time

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Introduce them by name and add how you met them. You don’t want to go through the trouble of composing the perfect opening line only to receive a confused, “Who’s that?” This may not be a very creative opening, but it’s likely that the other person will save your number. In addition, do not wait too long to contact after having their phone number so that people still remember you. ^{[1] X Research Source}

For example, you could say “Hi, I’m Linh at the gym the other day!”
Or “Hi Dung, I’m Khoa at work!

Mention a common interest

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Recall previous conversations or view their profile. If the two of you have ever met and talked, it will seem natural when you start with something in common that you both have. This is a perfect lead line when texting because it follows the natural flow of the conversation. If it’s a topic the two of you talked about last time, they’ll see that you’re interested in what they have to say. ^{[2] X Research Source}

If the other person’s profile has a photo of them with a dog, you could say something like, “What’s your dog’s name? I have a sister named Bo!”
You can also say things like, “I remember last time you said you liked skateboarding, right? I’m going on a skateboarding trip with my friends this weekend. Do you have any advice for me?”

Start with a part of the story to spark interest

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Let the other person be curious about what you will say next. If you want to draw the other person into the conversation, find a “bait” to make them want to know more. Make sure you have a good story to tell, or you’ll end up falling short when it comes to the ending. Try saying something like: ^{[3] X Research Source}

“You can laugh at me, but I have to tell you what I did…”
“Something very thrilling just happened to me!”
“You know, my morning just took a very interesting turn today.”
“Please tell me you’ve heard of…”

Send them a compliment

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Make them feel good from the start. Who doesn’t love hearing a well-timed compliment, so if there’s something you really like about the other person, let them know right away! Just don’t overdo it – complimenting too much can sometimes backfire and make the other person feel like you’re fake.

Compliment something as simple and sweet as “I’m so glad to see you!”
Or “I think you seem very interesting. We have to meet up soon, right?”
You can also compliment them for something more specific, such as “You have a great sense of humour. I still laugh when I remember your turtle story!”

Ask for their advice

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Let the other person know that you value their opinion. If you know the other person is good at something, ask for their advice. This will make the other person happy with pride, which research shows they also appreciate you. ^{[4] X Research Source} You can use this to start a conversation and continue the story of the situation you are referring to.

For example, if they’re a fashionista, you could send them a photo of two shirts and ask, “Which shirt do you think I should wear to an interview?”
If the other person’s profile mentions a passion for cooking, you could say, “Some friends are coming to my house for a barbecue tomorrow, do you have any advice for making steak?”

Send them a funny meme or animation

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Try opening a conversation without saying anything. Memes, animations, and emojis are great vehicles for conveying your emotions. What’s more, you won’t have to brainstorm something to say. If you see something on social media that the other person is sure to enjoy, save it and send it to them, then see if you can rely on their feedback to keep the conversation going. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

For example, if you feel tired after a long day, you could send an animation depicting a person falling to the floor. If you just want to say hello, you can send a clip of someone waving.

Share an interesting article

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Show the other person that you are interested in the things they care about. As you learn more about the other person, look out for articles, videos, or press releases that you think they might find interesting. If you come across something, text them with a small note like “Did you see this?” or “It makes me think of you.” ^{[6] X Research Source}

If you both like the same music, for example, you could share a blog post where your favorite band announces a new tour.

Continue building the conversation.

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Try not to jump from topic to topic suddenly. If you start talking about something, let the conversation flow naturally for a while in that direction. If you suddenly move on to something else, people may feel that you are not paying attention to what they have to say. However, if you feel the story is starting to get boring, you can move on to something else. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

If the other person is talking about their day at work, you can ask questions to spark the conversation or share something you did that day.

Ask open-ended questions

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Give them a chance to get a detailed answer. Asking questions is a great way to get to know someone, but you should try to avoid asking questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”. Instead, ask questions that encourage the other person to explain further so they are more likely to open up to you. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Instead of asking “Do you like pizza?”, you can say “What do you like to eat pizza with?”
Or, instead of saying, “Did you have a good day at work today?” You can ask the question “What do you like about your job?”
Similarly, try to answer questions with a full sentence instead of a one-word answer. ^{[9] X Research Source}

Fun and funny

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Don’t be too serious. Try to keep a positive, quick-witted, and witty tone of voice when texting. You don’t have to be funny from start to finish, but with a cheerful attitude, you can make the other person enjoy what you have to say. ^{[10] X Research Source}

Don’t say sarcastic words – sarcasm can sometimes be difficult to convey well in a text message. In addition, you should also avoid topics such as religion, politics, illness, sex or money. It’s better to wait until you’ve gotten to know the other person a little better before talking about such things, and it’s better to talk face-to-face.

Pause texting if they don’t respond

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Respect the other person’s time. Even if they keep their phone with them, they don’t always have to (or can) respond to your messages. If you notice that they mostly respond to your questions with only one word or have long silences between messages, they may be busy. It’s best to stay busy with your own business for a while. ^{[11] X Research Source}

If they always respond to your messages with short replies, they probably don’t like texting much. It also doesn’t mean they don’t like you – some people just don’t like texting, and that’s okay with you!

Advice

Emojis can make your messages lively and interesting, but don’t overdo them – especially if you’re texting someone at work or in a professional setting.

Steps