How to Start a Conversation with a Girl

You are in love with a girl and really want to talk to her, but how to start the story? Whether it’s texting, social media, or real-life conversations, you don’t always know what to say. But don’t worry – we’re here to show you all the best tips and tricks for starting a conversation with the girl you like. Check out the following tips to show her how comfortable, confident, and interesting you are the next time you strike up a conversation with her.

Table of Contents

Contact via social network

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Introduce yourself and tell how you know her. If you’re communicating online or by text, introduce yourself so she doesn’t dismiss your messages as spam. Same goes for texting greetings, and remind her of how you two met or connected. ^{[1] X Research Source}

“Hi, I’m Khoa here. You and I met at Linh’s party!”
“Hi, I’m Tuan, I met you at ABC bakery the other day.”
“Hi, I’m Thanh. Maybe we’ve never met, but we have 15 friends in common on Facebook.”

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Mention something that both of you are interested in. Go through her social media profiles and feeds to find what you and her have in common. Shared interests will be a goldmine for you to talk about. It doesn’t matter what the hobby is – whether it’s reading, running or hiking – as long as you both enjoy it. ^{[2] X Research Source}

If you find out that you both love to run, text her something like, “Hi! I see you are also a runner. What route do you usually run?” or “Have you ever wanted to run a marathon?”
If both of you enjoy reading, ask her, “Which author do you like to read?” or “How did you feel about the movie adaptation of that story?”
If it’s a strange hobby, you can ask how she came up with it and share your story!

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Refers to popular culture. Pop culture is an endless topic that isn’t personal for you to talk about about personal interests. By knowing what kind of movies or music she likes, you can learn more about her type of person and what she likes. This valuable information can help you prepare for a great date in the future. ^{[3] X Research Source} Any message like the following can be a great conversation starter:

“Have you seen the latest Mad Men movie? Who’s your favorite character?”
“Have you listened to My Tam’s new album? How do you feel?”
“Have you seen Tarantino’s latest movie? I heard it’s great!”

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Talk about an upcoming event. Upcoming events like music festivals or exams can bring excitement or suspense to both of you. ^{[4] X Research Source} This emotional response will be the catalyst that unites the two of you and shows her how much you have in common with her.

If you’re both taking the same subject, you can say something like, “I’m scared to death of this final math exam. I don’t like algebra! How are you?”
If you’re talking about music, you might mention an upcoming festival. Say something like “Are you going to see the Monsoon music festival this year? Last year, I went to see it with my friends, having fun! Which band are you waiting for?”
If a holiday is coming up, you can say, “I’m looking forward to Halloween next week! I’m going to a party at a friend’s house and have prepared a cool werewolf costume. Did you join any fun games?”

How to start the story

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Approach her and introduce yourself. Approach the girl you want to chat with and say hi with a smile. Claim her name and ask for her name. Simply say. A polite, sincere greeting will be a hundred times more effective than a cheesy catchphrase.

You can say a simple introduction in any case, such as “Hi, my name is Bao. And what’s your name?”
In the bar, you can offer her a glass of wine, such as “Hi, my name is Hai. Can I offer you a drink?”

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Ask how she is. Asking a girl how she’s doing today in a polite manner is a good way to encourage her to talk. This also leaves a good impression as she will see that you really care about her and listen to her.

A simple greeting like “How are you today?” will never fail. Remember to listen to her answer – this is not a question to be asked!
Ask her, “How was your day? Do you do anything fun?” This will get her to answer with more than one word and give you a chance to demonstrate that you have excellent listening skills.

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Comment on the weather or surrounding circumstances. You won’t be afraid to say the wrong thing with innocuous comments about the weather or real events like long lines in the cafeteria. When she responds, you can move on to more interesting topics.

Express yourself with a question instead of an affirmative sentence. Say something like, “It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?” or “Hopefully the rain will stop soon, don’t you think?” That way she will have a chance to reciprocate.
If you don’t like talking about the weather, try choosing another safe topic. For example, you can comment on your surroundings. If you’re in a bar, you can say, “Wow, it’s crowded here tonight, isn’t it?”

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Ask about school or work. Finding something in common can help break the awkward atmosphere in the conversation. Ask her about work or study to let the story flow naturally.

If the two of you are in the same class, ask her how she feels about the class, if she likes the teacher, and if she is interested in any subject matter she is studying. You might say something like, “Did you see the essay topics next semester? Have you decided what topic to write about?”
If the two of you work together, ask her if she has any interesting projects.

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Praise her. Be sincere and polite. Telling her that she has a beautiful smile, that you like her necklace, or that her laugh makes people happy. Make her feel special, but don’t be too flattering, or she’ll get the impression you’re being dishonest.

Try saying, “You have a wonderful smile, there is something very attractive about you.”
Or “Your dress is beautiful. Red suits me very well.”

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Mention a mutual friend. A mutual friend mentioned in the conversation will help you make a connection with the girl, even if you don’t know much about her yet. She’ll also feel more at ease because you won’t feel like a stranger anymore! When you have a mutual friend, the two of you also have something (or someone) to talk about.

Try saying something like, “I heard you’re a good friend of Anh. How did you two know each other?”
Or “Oh, you know Dang? We’ve known each other for a long time! Is he funny?”

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Talk about a shared experience. A shared experience – whether volunteering together or growing up together in the same city – will help you make a personal connection and begin to build a relationship with her. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

If you both grew up in the same small town, you might say, “No way! I was there when I was a kid! The people there are very peaceful and friendly. How do you feel about that place?”
If you’re both working on a volunteer project together, you can say, “I think the experience was worth it. What inspired you?”

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Ask an interesting question. Ask the girl an unusual or thought-provoking question to show her you value her opinion. It will give the girl an opportunity to express herself, and you will give the impression that you came up with such an interesting question. So one arrow hits two targets!

Try saying something like, “If you were an animal, what would you want to be?”
Or “What are your top 5 favorite places to visit in your life?’
Or “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

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Ask about personal things. If everything is going well and the two of you seem like a good match, it’s time for you to talk about something more personal. Remember that the point is to show that you like her and want to learn more about her, not to make her uncomfortable. Don’t ask questions that you yourself find difficult to answer.

Speak positive things! Don’t ask about her biggest fear or deepest secret – ask her hopes for the future or envision what she will be like ten years from now. Let her decide whether to respond in a serious or lighthearted manner.
Try asking her about her family, starting with a non-trivial statement like “Do you have siblings?”
If you want to know if she’s single or not, just ask, “Are you dating anyone right now?”

Increase confidence

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Speak clearly and confidently. This doesn’t mean overpowering or constantly interrupting the other person, but speaking a little louder than usual. You should also try not to say too many filler words like “like” and “you know what”. ^{[6] X Research Source} People who are comfortable being who they are, happy, confident and capable are attractive to everyone. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

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Focus on nonverbal cues. You can use nonverbal cues like body language or facial expressions to make words that wouldn’t normally be flirty become romantic. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Use open and friendly body language.
Maintain eye contact and smile!
Gently touch her hand or arm as you talk. Touching gestures can bring intimacy and take you out of the friend zone.
Avoid negative body language like crossing your arms, frowning, or looking at the ground

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Listen attentively and ask questions. Try not to take up most of the conversation. Listening is the act of showing that you care about her and what she has to say. ^{[9] X Research Source}

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Pay attention to the conversation. Tell her about yourself to give her even more reasons to like you. Answer her questions and let her know a little more about you, but don’t talk about yourself. You need to make her interested and interested in talking to you, not boring her. ^{[10] X Research Source}

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Make eye contact. Good eye contact makes you attractive and trustworthy. You will naturally look people in the eye once you feel comfortable and confident. ^{[11] X Research Source} Look her straight in the eye when you talk, but remember to look away during the pauses in conversation to avoid staring.

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Ask open-ended questions. Questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” are not the way to keep the conversation going because they don’t make the other person really think. Try to ask more interesting open-ended questions that require longer and more detailed answers from the other person. ^{[12] X Research Source}

You can use closed-ended questions at the start of the conversation if you want her to respond more easily, like, “Are you here for the first time?”

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Avoid controversial topics. Controversial topics brought into the conversation can make her awkward, uncomfortable, or angry. Stay away from topics like politics or religion in the first conversation, or your relationship is in danger of failing even in the beginning. ^{[13] X Research Source}

Advice

Show interest but don’t be too pushy. If someone is competing with you for her attention, act ready to leave so you don’t seem desperate. Girls love a challenge, so if you’re willing to leave the conversation, she’ll notice you even more.
If she seems to like you, boldly ask for her number and the next day send a text saying you’re happy to talk to her.
Don’t be afraid of rejection. Even if the girl you like doesn’t feel the same way as you do, your relationship isn’t necessarily awkward. Whether it’s embarrassing or not depends on your behavior.
Text her within the first two hours saying, “I enjoyed talking to you today. Do you want us to meet again?” That way she’ll know you “like” her.

Warning

Sometimes your girl simply doesn’t want to answer or talk to you. Let’s say a polite word and leave.

Steps

Contact via social network

How to start the story

Increase confidence

Advice

Warning

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