How to Sleep Over at Your Boyfriend’s House for the First Time

The first night you sleep over at your boyfriend’s house will be an exciting experience, but you may also be a little nervous. If you feel like you and your boyfriend are close enough to spend the night at his house, that’s a great sign that your relationship is going well. You just have to be yourself, prepare in advance, and maintain a comfortable conversation when you sleep at his house for the first time.

Table of Contents

Bring essentials

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Choose discreet handbags. Don’t prepare as if you moved into his house for a week; However, you will need to bring a few essential items to use the next morning. You’ll need to brush your teeth and remove makeup if you have one. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Evaluate which items will fit in a bag you normally use. If you usually use a purse, you’ll need to carry something a little bigger or just pack the basic necessities.
If your boyfriend lives far away and this is an overnight trip to visit him, you can pack more. In general, you will need everything that you normally use when traveling.

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Pack the essentials for your evening routine. Don’t put yourself in the awkward situation of asking to borrow a toothbrush, and if you decide not to brush, that’s awkward too. Bring any items that you feel uncomfortable without. ^{[2] X Research Source}

You may need to bring a makeup remover if you wear makeup. Some women go to bed with makeup on instead of letting their boyfriends see their bare face. However, it’s not good for your skin and if he’s your boyfriend he’ll eventually see your bare face.
Bring whatever items you need to take care of your hair. Some women need to tie their hair up at night but decide not to do so when they are with their boyfriends. Of course you won’t be using curlers on this particular night, but you may need to bring a comb or hairspray.

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Prepare for the next morning. People often have a list of things to bring to use for the next morning. Think about what you’ll need for your morning routine and think about how long you and your boyfriend will be dating before you go home. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

If you are an early riser, you should bring a phone charger and a book or magazine. That way, if you get up earlier than him, you can have fun.
You can bring a comfortable pair of walking shoes if it fits into your bag, instead of the shoes you wore on the date.
Don’t forget to bring your medicine if you need to take it regularly. You won’t know for sure what time you’ll get home in the morning.

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Bring “protective gear” if needed. If you plan to have sex, it’s always a smart move to bring a condom. Don’t assume that your boyfriend will already have a “raincoat” at home. Be proactive with it. If you’re not sure if you’re going to have sex, bring some “condoms” in case you need them. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

Condoms are the only birth control method that prevents sexually transmitted diseases.
Carrying lube or any other “adult toy” is also a good idea.

Control expectations about sex

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Know what you need. This is the first thing that you need to consider when deciding how to spend your first night together. Don’t assume that the first night you stay at his house means you have to have sex. However, if that’s what you expect then you need a plan. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Making love can be a way to bring the two of you closer and even create a stronger bond.
Sex can also provide an opportunity to discuss issues such as monogamy, relationships, sexual health, and fertility. If you’re not comfortable talking to your boyfriend about these topics, you’re probably not ready to have a sex life with him.
It’s okay if you have mixed feelings about the first time you have sex. If you’re not ready to make a decision right now, that’s okay. You need to make sure you can make the right decisions and agree to have sex.

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Talk to your boyfriend about expectations. This may seem awkward at first, but this conversation is necessary. There are many ways you can ask your guy what to expect while you’re cute and even flirty with him. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

If you want to keep a flirty conversation going, you can ask him how he’ll arrange his sleeping arrangements. Say something like, “Do you think we should share a bed or should I bring my own sleeping bag?”
If you want to be more direct, you can say, “I know we’ve never spent the night together. I’m really excited and I also want to talk about everyone’s expectations for that night. I was wondering how you feel about it and do you think we’re ready for it.”
If you already know what you want and feel certain, you can simply say it first. Say, “Dude, I’m really happy to sleep over at your house, but I want to tell you in advance that I’m not ready for sex” or, “I’d love to sleep at your house tonight. I really feel like I’m willing to do it to further our relationship.”

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Steadfast but flexible. If you’ve made your own decisions, like having sex or not, that’s fine. However, sometimes certain circumstances can affect your emotions and you will change your mind in that moment. That’s fine. Listen to your instincts. ^{[9] X Research Source}

Maybe you weren’t prepared for sex, but now you feel comfortable and eager to try it out.
Maybe you’ve been planning to have sex, but if you suddenly feel uncomfortable or anxious, it’s okay to change your mind.
Make sure your decision is based on feelings, not pressure from your boyfriend, friends, parents, or any outside pressure.

Create a comfortable evening

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Enjoy time together. Perhaps you feel nervous about how you should spend your first night together. Remember, though, that he appreciates you for who you are. Not only that, but he’s probably just as worried as you are. Take the pressure off by relaxing together and doing things you both enjoy when you’re together. ^{[10] X Research Source}

Maybe your boyfriend will freak out when you see his house and room. You should give him peace of mind by telling him anything that you like or appreciate about his whereabouts. You can say something like, “I really like the poster on the wall” or, “Wow, you live in a great place.”
If his accommodation is not suitable for a date, you can go for a walk or drive together. Take a date somewhere else and go home to sleep.

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Do a bedtime routine. Maybe you need to wash your face, brush your hair and brush your teeth and whatever else before you go to bed. Of course, you will be doing more work at home, but tonight you should be reasonable. That way, you won’t spend all of your time in the bathroom when your boyfriend is wondering what you’re doing. ^{[11] X Research Source}

You don’t need to explain what you’re doing in the bathroom. Maybe he’s just wondering, and that’s normal.
If you usually braid or tie your hair in the evening, you may need to skip that habit for the first few nights you two are together, as long as you’re comfortable.

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Know in advance that you won’t be able to sleep well. The first night you sleep with another person, your brain maintains a little alertness throughout the night as a way to keep you safe. You may wake up when your boyfriend stirs or changes position. ^{[12] X Research Source}

Don’t plan to sleep over at your boyfriend’s house for the first time the night before an important day at school or work.
Even if you go to bed early, you may still need to make up for it by taking a nap the next day.

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Wear clothes that you feel comfortable in. If you don’t plan to sleep over, you probably didn’t bring a change of clothes or don’t think to prepare pajamas. Even if you have a plan, you don’t know if you should bring pajamas or something else to change into. How you should wear your pajamas depends on how comfortable you feel with your boyfriend and how close you two are.

If you’re having sex or being intimate in some way, you probably find it comfortable to sleep naked, or in just your underwear.
If he lives with the family, you’ll need to wear tight pajamas, in case his parents or siblings come into the room or you need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
Sure, you can borrow a t-shirt to wear to sleep. Many guys find this adorable. ^{[13] X Research Source}

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Go to bed when you’re ready. When you both go to bed tired, it’s time to sleep. If you share a bed with him, the two of you will need to find a comfortable position for yourself. Here are a few things that probably annoy you: ^{[14] X Research Sources}

If he snores in his sleep, bring earplugs if needed!
Either you win the blanket or prefer different bedroom temperatures.
He likes cuddling but you don’t (or vice versa).

Wake up together

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Let him sleep. If you wake up first, you should let your boyfriend sleep a little longer. In general, you would probably appreciate the same courtesy. If you wake up first, you can lie in bed and cuddle him or go to the bathroom to complete your morning routine so that when he wakes up you look fresh. ^{[15] X Research Source}

If he wakes up first, he’ll probably go to the bathroom first to brush his teeth or also get himself ready before you wake up. ^{[16] X Research Source}

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Think about how you will spend your morning. Maybe the two of you want to spend the morning and even most of the day together, but maybe you don’t. Hope you have a plan for that day. But if you don’t have any plans, don’t assume you’ll spend the morning with him. ^{[17] X Research Source}

Did you talk about breakfast? If not, you can suggest something or ask him what he wants to do. You might say something like, “Would you like to cook breakfast with me?” or, “I want a cup of coffee. Is there a nice place near here?”
Does either of you have to go to school or work? If you need to go, tell him. You could say something like, “I have to go to work in an hour, but I’d be happy to have our morning coffee together, if you’d like.” You could also say something like, “Do you have plans for today? I’m free, but I understand if you’re busy with something.”
Of course, your boyfriend should care and respect you, so don’t be afraid to let him know if you want to spend the morning together or not. You should sincerely express your feelings in a healthy relationship. ^{[18] X Research Sources}

Advice

You should be in a good mood when you sleep over at your boyfriend’s house for the first time. Don’t try to go all out or stimulate sex or use tricks to flirt with him right away.
If he lives with his parents or other family members, you need to discuss in advance what you should wear, if you should bring any specific items, and what the sleeping arrangement will be.

Warning

Remember that mutual consent is important. You need to make sure you and your boyfriend have talked to each other about every time you have physical contact and sex.
Before you take the initiative to have sex with someone, you need to make sure he has recently been tested for STDs and seriously considers your sexual health and that of him.

Steps