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This article was co-written by Jin S. Kim, MA. Jin Kim is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles, California. Jin specializes in working with LGBTQ people, people of color, and people who have difficulty reconciling intersecting gender identities. Jin received his master’s degree in clinical psychology from Antioch University Los Angeles in 2015, with a major in LGBT Confirmation Psychology.
This article has been viewed 11,281 times.
Even when you really care about someone, it’s hard to express these feelings. There are many ways for you to approach your loved one and show your appreciation. Talking kindly, giving them attention, and being polite will help you show your appreciation for them.
Steps
Communicate emotionally
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Find many ways to say you care about them. Saying “I love you” is a common way to show respect and care. There are other ways to show appreciation that are more direct and specific. This is necessary because people express and accept love and sympathy in different ways. The more ways you show your appreciation, the more the recipient will believe it’s genuine. Here are a few suggestions: [1] X Research Sources
- “I love spending time with you.”
- “I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
- “You’re one of my best friends.”
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Share your feelings with them. Sometimes, your appreciation for someone is shown by trusting them. Be open and tell them things you wouldn’t tell anyone else. Let them be by your side, and they will know that you appreciate them. [2] X Research Source
- For example, you could tell someone that you really value a story from your childhood as a private secret.
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Please sympathize. The person you respect should also confide in you. Try to show that you care about their life and want to create a sincere emotional bond. Never mock or ridicule someone when they are emotionally open to you, as this will embarrass them and close them in. Showing that you’re there for them over and over again will prove that you appreciate them, and they’ll appreciate you, too. [3] X Research Sources
- For example, if someone close to you is going through a breakup or divorce, they will need your support. Never take the situation lightly and make fun of it by saying, “Don’t see me to cry. Forget it and find someone else.” Instead, be empathetic and say something like, “I know you’re going through a tough time. What can I do to make you happy?”
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Accept their true selves. If you really appreciate someone, you need to accept them for who they are. You can’t force someone to change just because you want to. Trying to force them will make them feel despised and abandoned. If you disagree with something they do, think, or say, don’t continue arguing or force them to see your way. This respect will show them that you appreciate them even if you disagree on something. [4] X Research Sources
- For example, if you disagree politically with a friend, the two of you won’t be able to change each other’s minds. That means that trying to argue will hurt the friendship. Instead, don’t try to argue and avoid talking about the topic.
Express gratitude. Sometimes, we are so busy and so caught up in life that we forget to show our gratitude to our friends and loved ones. We take everything in life – and everyone – for granted without questioning why. Think about things you can do to show gratitude.
- For example, try thanking a loved one for something they do, no matter how small. Say, “Thanks for washing the dishes. I really appreciate your help.”
- You can also try keeping a gratitude journal. Write down specific things you are grateful for and share with friends and family.
- Say “I love you” or leave a message telling someone how much they mean to you, make you laugh, or improve your life.
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Praise them. Acknowledging a person’s best qualities shows that you notice and appreciate those qualities. Make sure you give compliments regularly. Here are a few common compliments: [5] X Research Sources
- “You are excellent.”
- “I think you’re beautiful.”
- “You’re so kind and caring.”
Use non-verbal communication
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Help when they need it. One way to show true appreciation is to be there to help someone when they need it. If someone you hold dear asks you for help, do whatever you can to help them. If you know they’re going through a tough time, take the initiative to do something kind for them. [6] X Research Source
- For example, if someone is going through a tough time, you could cook or visit to help them with chores around the house.
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Body contact. Physical contact shows that you care and appreciate someone. Hugs, holding hands, and other forms of contact are often appropriate between close friends, family, or lovers. Make sure any physical contact you initiate is well received and never try to force it. [7] X Research Sources
Send Message. Of course, face-to-face conversation will be most effective. However, most of our daily interactions are by phone, email, or text message to easily reach those we are close to. Send a brief message to say that you care about them.
- Texts and emails are quick and easy ways to send and show how much you appreciate someone.
- Try texting something like, “I appreciate you” or “I love you.” Send a brief email like this, “I miss you” or “I really wanted to see you.”
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Look them in the eye while talking. When talking to someone, you should give them your full attention. This will make them feel important and loved. Look them in the eye when you talk or listen, and they’ll know that you’re completely focused on them. [8] X Research Sources
Behave in a mature manner
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Avoid arguing. Arguments can dent a relationship over time. Whenever possible, avoid quarrels at all costs. If it’s trivial, it’s not worth hurting your partner or your relationship. Choosing a battle wisely will show your sincere respect for your opponent. [9] X Research Source
- For example, if someone tells you, “Your hair is messy today,” it’s probably not worth arguing about.
- However, if someone steals your money, you will need to talk frankly about the limits.
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Sorry. If you argue, apologize. This will show that you accept part of the blame for the fight and that you appreciate your partner enough to admit you were wrong. It will be effective to show your appreciation for them. [10] X Research Source
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Create a surprise. Taking your partner by surprise shows that you’ve been thinking about them. It also proves that you know them well enough to surprise them with something they like. A surprise gift, meal, or trip will let someone know that you truly appreciate them. [11] X Research Source
- For example, visiting and bringing them food bags from their favorite restaurant or cooking for a friend shows that you appreciate them.
- People will also feel appreciated if you give them a small gift while you travel. It shows that you are always thinking about them.
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Be with someone you cherish. When someone you care about needs you, make time for them. Sometimes you will have to leave what you are doing right away, and have to eat lunch later than usual during the week. You always have to stay committed to someone you hold dear, or they will start to feel as though they don’t mean anything to you.
- For example, if a friend needs help on the weekend, you should try to schedule time and help them.
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Pay attention to the person you care about. When you’re with your loved one, give them your full attention. Avoid distractions, such as the phone or television, and join the conversation. Actively listen to the other person and show genuine interest in what they are saying.
- For example, if you have lunch with your parents, turn off the phone on the table.
- Leverage the power of touch. If the other person is a close friend or relative, pat them on the back, give them a hug, or kiss them on the cheek. For lovers, try a back rub, cuddling in a chair, or kissing.
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This article was co-written by Jin S. Kim, MA. Jin Kim is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles, California. Jin specializes in working with LGBTQ people, people of color, and people who have difficulty reconciling intersecting gender identities. Jin received his master’s degree in clinical psychology from Antioch University Los Angeles in 2015, with a major in LGBT Confirmation Psychology.
This article has been viewed 11,281 times.
Even when you really care about someone, it’s hard to express these feelings. There are many ways for you to approach your loved one and show your appreciation. Talking kindly, giving them attention, and being polite will help you show your appreciation for them.
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