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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 24 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 8,021 times.
Anger is a natural human emotion, and it’s not always negative. Anger can help you know when you’ve been hurt or when a situation needs to be changed. It is important that you know how to handle and react to your anger. [1] X Research Source
Frequent anger can lead to an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, weakness, and trouble sleeping. The risk is especially high if you’re prone to bursts of anger or have to hold it in for a long time… [2] X Research Source Fortunately, you can now understand, process, and release your anger in healthy ways. strong below.
Steps
Release anger effectively
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Practice. When you’re feeling angry, some light exercise can help. A University of Georgia study found that moderate exercise (like jogging or cycling) during or immediately after anger can help you control it. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, neurotransmitters in the brain that create positive emotions and improve mood. [3] X Research Source If you can’t run or cycle, consider walking, stretching, or some other form of exercise. [4] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
- Exercise also has a preventive effect. Research from Yale University shows that a jog before anger occurs can reduce the level of negative reactions. [5] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
- Even if you don’t have time for a complete workout while angry, a few minutes is fine. If possible, leave the tense conversation and shake your arms and legs for a while. Just a few physical distractions will make you feel better. [6] X Research Sources
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Practice breathing control. Deep breathing with the diaphragm (the large muscle underneath the lungs that aids breathing) can help calm angry emotions. [7] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to the source Controlling and deep breathing can slow your heart rate, regulate blood pressure, and relax your body. [8] X Trusted Source Harvard Medical Schop Go to Source Combining breathing exercises with an Indian mantra, key phrase or any other reassuring slogan will increase the effectiveness.
- Find a quiet place to relax. Make yourself comfortable. Lie down if you like and remove any tight or uncomfortable clothing.
- Place your hand on your stomach.
- Inhale slowly through your nose. Focus on expanding your belly with the air. Let your abdomen relax as you inhale; At the same time you will also feel your stomach rising. Hold the breath for a few seconds.
- Exhale through the mouth. Release the abdominal muscles by pushing the air out through the lungs.
- Repeat this process at least ten times.
- If you still have problems with deep breathing, buy a bottle of blowing bubbles from a children’s toy store. Hold the blower in front of you and breathe slowly through the frame of the stick. Focus on exhaling from your lower abdomen, forcing your breath up and out. If it’s stable then you might even be able to blow bubbles. If the soap bubble breaks or doesn’t appear, change your breathing until the bubble is blown out. [9] X Research Source
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Practice muscle relaxation. This exercise requires you to focus on tensing and stretching a specific muscle group in your body, helping to distract you from your angry feelings. In addition, muscle relaxation helps relieve feelings of anxiety and pressure, thereby reducing feelings of anger. This exercise will help you fall asleep more easily when your thoughts have started to spiral out of control. [10] X Research Source
- Go to a quiet, comfortable place if possible and find a seat.
- Focus on a specific muscle group like your arms. While inhaling slowly and deeply, stretch that muscle group as much as you can and hold this position for 5 seconds. You can clench your fist like a fist when tensing your arm muscles. Focus on that muscle group and try not to let the surrounding muscles inadvertently stretch.
- Exhale and quickly return the muscle group to its original state. Focus on the experience of leaving on the muscle you just stretched. Relax for 15 seconds and move on to another muscle group.
- Muscle groups that can be tried are the feet, lower calves, thighs, buttocks, abdomen, shoulders and neck, mouth, eyes, and forehead.
- You can start at the feet and work your way up, stretching each muscle group of the body. Every time you finish stretching a muscle group, the anger seems to disappear, making way for relaxation.
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Perform an anger release ritual. Activities that require focus can help redirect anger energy into expression production so that you can quickly overcome anger. Research shows that anger can temporarily boost brain activity and creative thinking. [11] X Research Source Use your imagination and attention to release anger in a creative and controlled way. [12] X Research Source
- For example, find a private place and shake your body, imagining that the frustration is flying out of your body like a dog shaking after a bath.
- Or you can write down the things that upset you and then slowly tear the piece of paper into pieces as if you were killing the anger.
- If you’re an artist, sketch or draw something that expresses your emotions. Focus on taking your feeling out and putting it into art.
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Use rubber toys to relieve stress. Toys, such as rubber balls, can be effective in relieving frustration. To use it you have to contract and stretch a muscle group, so this ball is as effective as stretching therapy. However, it is only a temporary solution, you need to combine other techniques for best long-term results. [13] X Research Source
- Kneading a rubber toy is a much better stress reliever than punching, kicking or throwing something. Actions like these can be damaging and damaging, and sometimes they make you more angry than relieved. [14] X Research Source
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Find something fun or funny. Silly humor can defuse anger. An important source of anger is the feeling that our own ideas about a situation or experience are always right and that things should go the way we expect them to. Using humor to approach and structure ideas can help you control and manage your anger. [15] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source
- The American Psychological Association recommends that if you call someone by a vulgar name, you will imagine it very real in your head. For example, if you are very angry with your boss and call him “asshole,” imagine what it would be like if he were a rogue with a black suit and matching briefcase. This sense of humor can help relieve some of the pressure.
- Watching cute and funny videos online can help lighten your mood. Humans are a biological program programmed to react happily to cute things like a big-eyed puppy or a chubby little baby. [16] X Research Source
- Avoid satirical comedies or horror movies, they will only make you feel worse and may even hurt the people around you.
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Listen to soothing music. This is a great distraction method that can help calm your anger. However, it is important that you listen to soothing music. When you’re feeling angry, music with strong tunes and provocative lyrics can make your negative feelings worse. [17] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source
- Find soothing or meditative music to calm your angry feelings. Part of the reason you keep wanting to “get more hot” when you’re angry is because your body is already in a “fight or flight” euphoria. [18] X Research Source The British Academy of Sound Therapy created a playlist of songs that “relax” through scientific research, including songs by Marconi Union (“Weightless”), Airstream ( “Electra”) and Enya (“Watermark”). [19] X Research Source
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Repeat the reassurance mantra. Find a sentence that makes sense to you and try to focus your attention on the sentence by repeating it over and over. You can even recite a few sentences to yourself. [20] X Research Sources Here are some examples:
- “This is only temporary.”
- “I can make it through.”
- “Even if I don’t like it, this can’t bring me down.”
- “I will still hold my head high.”
- “It’s really not worth being angry about.”
Control and prevent anger
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Develop an “angry plan.” It’s very difficult to one way or another reduce your anger in the heat of the moment, so come up with a plan that can help you stay calm in a bad situation. Having it in mind will help you manage your anger more effectively.
- For example, if your plan is to “walk away” if you start to feel your anger growing, you can calmly tell the other person that I’m upset and need to go outside for a breather.
- If you’re in a tense conversation — like a hot political or religious issue — try to calm the situation by moving the conversation to a more neutral and agreeable topic.
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Rearrange your thoughts. Consciously organizing your thoughts can help make your experience of anger less frequent. Anger often leads to exaggerating your reaction to events and making it easier for you to lose control. Changing the way you think about events and outcomes can help you avoid feelings of anger in the first place and manage anger when you actually experience it. [21] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source
- Avoid using combinations of words like “never” or “always.” Anger tends to bring back memories of other not-so-good events, and then the feeling of frustration increases. The words also hurt others and make people feel defensive rather than cooperative. Instead of saying “I’m always like an idiot” or “You never remember what’s important,” focus on what’s going on. You may find it helpful to make a factual statement to yourself such as “I left my phone at home” or “You forgot our dinner plans,” that will help you stay on track. everything is in your heart.
- Keep your mind. Easier said than done, of course, but remind yourself that that negative experience that made you angry isn’t the only thing that happened during the day. Remember, anger, no matter how great, is temporary, and this mindset will help you get over your anger quickly.
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Solve situations with flexibility. Admittedly, our reactions to situations and events are always the same, and it’s hard to let go of the idea that there is only one objective truth to every situation. However, being flexible with how you handle situations and events will help you react with the least amount of anger.
- For example, if someone interrupts you while you are waiting in line at the counter, you will assume that they are not interested in your needs and are being very rude, which can lead to an outburst of anger. While that inference seems correct, it doesn’t work. Be flexible by thinking that maybe they just can’t see you because they’re preoccupied with some personal matter, which will release the feelings of unwarranted anger.
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Learn to be assertive. Developing an assertive communication style can help you manage anger and frustration in your life. Communicating and acting assertive does not mean being arrogant and selfish; It is clarity and composure in expressing thoughts, feelings, and needs to others in an open and honest way. If you are not honest with others about your needs, they may not be able to meet them and that leads to feelings of anger, frustration, or worthlessness. [22] X Research Source
- Use “I” sentence patterns – like “I’m confused about what you said” or “I hope you’ll be on time when we go to the movies together.”
- Avoid name calling, threatening or attacking others.
- Use cooperative sentences and invite the other party to voice his or her point of view.
- The more direct and clear about your wants and needs, the better. For example, if you’re invited to a party you don’t want to go to, don’t just say something like, “Oh, let’s see, I think I’ll come.” Instead, answer clearly but politely that you don’t want to go: “I don’t want to go to that party.”
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Try meditation. Meditation not only stabilizes your emotions and relieves stress, it also helps you stay calm even when you’re experiencing angry emotions. A recent Harvard study found that meditation has a positive effect on brain function, especially the area that produces emotions. [23] X Research Sources Experimental study with two forms of meditation: “mindfulness” meditation and “compassionate” meditation. Both forms reduced feelings of anger and anxiety for the volunteers, but compassion meditation was even more effective than mindfulness meditation.
- Mindfulness meditation focuses entirely on the present moment, accepting the body’s experiences. This type of meditation is similar to what you would do in a yoga class.
- Compassion meditation, also known as loving-kindness meditation, is based on calm mind practices, rooted in Tibetan Buddhism, focusing on cultivating your feelings of compassion and love among others. with people. [24] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to the source This type of meditation requires you to read the instructions carefully before you want to practice effectively on your own.
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Get enough sleep. Lack of sleep can cause harm to the body including physical stress as well as emotional disturbances, depression or anxiety. Sleep deprivation or too little sleep can lead to irritability, mood swings, and irritability. [25] X Research Sources
- Experts recommend that the adult body needs an average of seven to eight hours of sleep each night, although you may want to sleep more or less depending on your body’s needs.
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Share your feelings with the person who made you angry. Once we let our anger pass, it can be helpful to share our thoughts and feelings with the person who made us angry. If someone ignores you at a party and it makes you sad, calmly talk to that person and explain why you’re hurting so they understand how your behavior affects the other person. This also gives you more control over the situation.
- It is extremely important to wait until you have handled your anger before talking to others. If you approach them while still angry, things will get worse and you will also upset the person at the same time. Always use nonviolent communication when interacting with people.
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Meet an expert. A therapist can help you through the underlying emotions and motivations behind the anger. This is especially helpful in cases where you are often angry for no apparent reason. Cognitive therapy, where a professional helps you learn to think about different things in order to manage anger effectively. [26] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source
Understand your anger
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Admit anger matters. Most people experience mild tantrums several times per week. In some cases, it’s perfectly normal to be angry if you’ve been offended or hurt. However, you need to learn to recognize the signs that your anger has fallen into the worrisome “problem” category. [27] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source
- Do you often yell, scream or curse when you are angry? Do you scold others?
- Does anger often lead you to violent behavior? How serious is it? The rate of common anger episodes that lead to aggressive behavior is less than 10%, so if you’re showing it, it means you need to take a closer look at the issue.
- Do you feel like you need your own medicine when angry, such as food, alcohol or drugs?
- Do you feel your anger has a negative impact on your health or personal relationships such as love or work? Are the people around you concerned about you?
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Learn to read your body. The physical causes of anger are varied, especially among women because they are subjected to cultural and social pressures to avoid expressing anger too clearly. [28] X Source of Study Feelings of physical tension, muscle aches, shortness of breath, restlessness, and headaches are symptoms associated with anger. Instead of trying to suppress anger, understanding when your body is in that state will help you handle it better.
- Anxiety, depression, and insomnia can also lead to anger.
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Find out the anger patterns in your family. The way your parents and other family members express anger has a big impact on you and how you handle your own anger. How did your family members handle and express their anger when you were growing up? Did your parents express their anger openly or did they repress it? [29] X Research Sources
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Keep an anger diary. The way to become close to your feelings and why you become angry is to write them down in detail. Reflect not only on what happened but also on how you reacted and the thoughts you practice. Try not to judge the feelings you write. Only express them through which you can become aware of what you experience. Awareness is the first and most important step in handling and overcoming anger. Ask yourself the following questions:
- What triggers your feelings of anger or stress? Were you stressed before it happened?
- What were you thinking when it happened?
- On a scale of 0-10, how angry are you?
- Do you scold others or internalize your anger?
- Does your body experience physical symptoms such as heart palpitations or headaches?
- What reaction do you want to get? Do you want to scream, attack someone or smash things? What feedback did you actually get?
- How did you feel after the incident or experience happened?
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Find out your leverage. For many people anger is easily triggered by specific thoughts or incidents. [30] X Research Sources You can use your anger diary to identify the most common causes of your anger. This thinking lever generally falls into two main categories: feeling threatened and when you have actually been harmed in some way.
- A common thinking lever is that someone has or hasn’t done what you expected. For example, if you were planning to have dinner with someone who didn’t come, you would probably feel angry that they didn’t do what you expected.
- Another is the feeling of being threatened, even in a very normal situation. For example, when you are interrupted while waiting in line, have problems with your computer, or frequently miss calls on your phone, these problems, although small, have a real and negative consequence, which creates a sense of urgency. sense of threat. That worry can trigger anger.
- Feeling like you’re not fulfilling a personal goal or need can also lead to anger, in this case directed at yourself.
- Feeling like you’re taking a risk or that someone doesn’t care or help you are also leverages of anger, especially at work and emotionally.
Advice
- Using anger strategies is a good start when you’re in a pivotal moment, but make sure you’re also doing emotional exercises to examine and process your anger. This will make it easier for you.
- If possible, avoid situations where you know you can leverage your anger. For example, if you have strong political views or strong religious beliefs, don’t engage in conversations that might make you upset and angry.
- It’s still a good idea to see a psychologist, even if you don’t usually get angry enough to punch the wall. Many people think their problem has to be serious to need medical help, in fact a professional always has a way to help you prevent and take better care!
- Check with your local university or community health center about an anger management program. These programs, used in conjunction with specialized techniques, can help you feel less angry and respond calmly.
- Punch the pillow.
- Everyone has a different way of reducing anger. Try multiple methods until you see the right fit. Punching a sandbag, singing, going to a sauna or getting a massage are options.
- Jogging or pushing the ground right after the incident is both good for your mind and good for your health.
- Talk to someone other than the person you are angry with.
- Play a sport or activity you really enjoy to distract your mind from it. If you have a very serious problem, doing physical exercises will help you safely relax.
- If anger comes on suddenly, sit down. Drinking water can help you take better control of the situation.
Warning
- If you find yourself constantly berating others or yourself when angry, or resorting to sedatives such as alcohol and drugs when angry, you should seek professional mental health help. . This is very important because otherwise you will continue to harm yourself and those around you.
- Don’t act out like punching, kicking or smashing to relieve anger. These actions may seem to work, but in fact they only agitate you more.
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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 24 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
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Anger is a natural human emotion, and it’s not always negative. Anger can help you know when you’ve been hurt or when a situation needs to be changed. It is important that you know how to handle and react to your anger. [1] X Research Source
Frequent anger can lead to an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, weakness, and trouble sleeping. The risk is especially high if you are prone to bursts of anger or have to hold it in for a long time… [2] X Research Source Fortunately, you can now understand, process, and release your anger in healthy ways. strong below.
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