How to Recognize Selfishness

Don’t expect to be praised. Selfish people often want to be praised by others. So if you not only like them but also live for them, then you are being selfish. It’s perfectly normal to see compliments as a pleasant surprise, but if it feels like they owe you a compliment just because you’re awesome, that’s selfishness.

• Compliments should be just an “additional” to make you happier and more motivated, it can’t be expected to be achieved.

Be flexible in how you deal with work. If you find it difficult to accept other ways of working at work, it shows that you believe you are the only one who knows how to do it. Whether it’s planning a project or hosting a school dance, if you think you know what you need to do and don’t like people taking the reins, that’s a sign you need to be more flexible. solution. You may hate feeling untrustworthy for certain jobs, or having a hard time accepting others as right, but if you can do that, you’ll become a more open person.

• For example, if you feel angry, frustrated, or infuriated because someone is trying to disobey you, even if it’s a co-worker working on a project and you don’t like the new idea he’s giving you. In fact, it is your ego that is hindering your progress.

Get rid of the habit of being jealous when others are complimented. ^[11] Selfish people find it difficult to feel happy for others when they are praised. If someone among the people you know is rewarded, like a brother or sister being praised for getting a good grade or your colleague successfully finishing a project, you will naturally feel happy. for them. Conversely, if you feel jealous, angry, or confused because you don’t understand why you’re not being praised, then you need to examine your selfishness.

Do you remember birthdays, important times or important events in other people’s lives. If you often forget other people’s birthdays, graduations, inaugurations, or other important events, but expect them to remember yours, it’s because you’re too focused on yourself. Of course we all have those moments of forgetfulness, but if it happens frequently it is a sign of selfishness.

• Review your work schedule. If you tend to forget those events, and also don’t remember appointments or meetings, it could be due to a messy personality that doesn’t know how to organize work. Or if you have Attention Deficit Disorder or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, the forgetfulness may be rooted in that illness, not selfishness.

Make friends with people with different personalities. ^[12] Selfish people do not like to be friends with friendly people who speak loudly or have many friends. They don’t want to have to compete for attention and therefore want to be alone in the spotlight. Selfish people don’t like to be around someone who is prettier or more attractive, so they make friends with quiet or shy people who can be the center of the show. If you find you have this tendency, you should try to befriend a variety of people. You should spend time socializing with both sociable and closed-minded people, need to learn how to interact with different types of people.

• The same is true of male-female relationships. If you don’t like dating someone who’s superior to you, it could be because you’re afraid other people won’t notice you.

Be kind to everyone. Selfish people tend to be rude to others because of their disdain. If you talk curtly to waitresses, are rude to co-workers, or show up an hour late to dinner dates with friends, it’s a signal that they don’t deserve your attention. waste of time. Even if it wasn’t your intention, this behavior makes you seem more selfish and only interested in yourself.

• Selfish people are very uncomfortable when mistreated, even though they are often cold to others without even realizing their hypocrisy. If you want to be treated like that, then treat others like that, that’s how you build good social relationships and create a positive image in the eyes of others.

Be more attentive. Most of us are not aware that we are indifferent to other people and their feelings. You can overcome this weakness by reviewing your behavior and observing yourself. ^[13] Once you are aware of your behaviors, you can tailor them to better, and to do that you need to ask yourself the following questions after each meeting with someone. friend:

• “What did I do to make the talk more than just about myself or personal interests?”
• “What information do I know about the other person, how are their feelings, what is their life situation?”

Start asking questions every time you socialize or meet with other people. Asking other people questions demonstrates that you are actively participating in their story. If you’re talking to a friend or acquaintance, ask them how they feel about the situation, how they achieved a goal or completed a difficult task. People love knowing they are being cared for, learning about how to handle life situations. You might be surprised at how much information they get from them if you know how to ask open-ended questions and put them in the right place. ^[14]

• In work situations, you can ask your colleagues directly how to complete a project. In this case, you must pay attention to her suggestions, not force her to accept your ideas. ^[15]

Apologize for hurting others. Selfish people often don’t care that they’re hurting others, in part because they don’t care about the feelings of their listeners. If you’re trying to correct your selfishness, put yourself in your listener’s shoes and apologize if you’ve done something to upset them.

• Apologize sincerely. What you say is not as important as how much you truly feel sorry for and sympathize with them. ^[16] If you’re not used to apologizing or showing empathy to others, an apology may sound a little strange, but that’s okay. You will gradually get used to it and the chances of having to apologize will also decrease over time.

Pay attention to the conversation. Be careful not to interrupt to talk about your experience before the other person has finished their part. Listen to what they have to say and build on that story, even if you don’t have the opportunity to contribute your own story. You should listen attentively to be able to repeat the problem, remember their important words. ^[17]

• This habit will make the speaker realize you are listening and respect them. Don’t stick to a rigid point of view before the talk, but let the other person’s point of view and ideas convince you. Listen attentively so you can summarize the story and understand how they feel in the situation. ^[18]

Really care about others. ^[19] Start thinking about and caring for your friends even if you’re not with them. If someone you know is going through a tough time, send her a text or do something nice to show her you’re still thinking about them. Remember what they said when they last met, and then continue to ask or comment on the matter. Try doing small things that show you care. For example, pick up the phone and ask to show that you care about the problem that’s bothering them, or vice versa. ^[20]

• Don’t just say that you support or care for them, but show it through your actions. This includes not only listening, but also trying to do something to promote their opinion. ^[21] For example, you could ask her for advice on a big purchase you’re considering, asking for advice from others will make them feel more valued.

Do something for others. Stop thinking about yourself and do good to those in need. You might consider volunteering for a charity or a free food service. Practice doing things that don’t need to be reciprocated, this is a way to build empathy, as well as concern for those around you. ^[22]

• Make sure you value friendship for what it is, not for the benefits it can bring. Stop taking advantage of people or taking advantage of activities for personal purposes.