How to Recognize a Romantic Hug

Hugs are so confusing sometimes! When someone hugs you, you may wonder what their hug means. Since you often can’t tell a person’s feelings based on one trait, such as how long the hug lasts or when it happens, we’ve rounded up all the possibilities in this article. to help you guess.

Table of Contents

Approach

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Hugs from behind are usually romantic. A hug from behind is a very familiar gesture between two people who trust each other deeply. If you get this kind of hug from someone, you’re probably pretty close to them, and it’s a sign of romantic affection. ^{[1] X Research Source}

If they approach you from the side and put an arm around your waist, this is a true “couple hug.” This hug is intimate, but it doesn’t evoke romance. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Body language

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Do their bodies stiffen or blend into yours? A rigid hug is usually a neutral hug. If they’re stiff and seem awkward, it’s probably because they’re uncomfortable hugging, or they just feel the need to hug you because everyone around them is hugging each other.

You can’t judge a hug based on a smile alone, but the brighter the smile, the happier the other person is to see you. If the smile lasts for a long time after the hug, then they definitely like you, but it’s hard to tell if the hug here is romantic or just friendly. ^{[3] X Research Sources}
If they don’t look at you or make little eye contact, there’s usually no romance in their hug.

Tightness

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The tighter the hug, the more affection the other person gives you. Cuddling can be friendly or romantic, so it’s best not to rely solely on the strength of the hug. An exception is when people hug very lightly and loosely, as this often implies a feeling of neutrality rather than romance. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

Notice the distance between the two bodies. Do they press their bodies against you? If so, they probably have a crush on you. If they’re even pressing their hips or pelvis to you, they’re probably smitten with you. ^{[5] X Research Sources}
A loose or rigid hug is slightly different from a gentle hug. A gentle, affectionate hug is a sign of love or friendship. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Length and timing

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A quick hug usually just means pure friends. The longer the hug lasts, the more likely they are to have romantic feelings for you. Let’s look at the time again. Friends often give each other a hug when they meet or when they say goodbye. If two people are hanging out and the other turns to hug you, even if it’s just a quick gesture, it probably means more than that, and they probably really like you. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Friends often hug to greet or say goodbye, so you can’t just rely on hugs to infer romance.

Hand placement

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Usually, the lower the hand is placed, the higher the attraction between two people. ^{[8] X Source of Research} If the other person’s arms are around your waist and they put their hands behind your back, it’s a romantic hug – especially if they pull your lower body close to theirs. If they put their hands on your upper back, it’s harder to tell, as friends often do the same. ^{[9] X Research Source}

If they touch your butt or stroke your hair, they probably have a crush on you!

Arm placement

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Do they hug you with one hand or both? An arm around the neck or shoulder is often a friend’s hug. If they put both arms around your neck, consider other factors like how tight they hold you and what parts of your body touch each other. If they put their arms under your arms and both arms around your upper body, it’s probably just a friendly hug. ^{[10] X Research Source}

On the other hand, if they put both arms around your waist and pull you close to them, this is definitely a romantic hug. ^{[11] X Research Source}

Movement of the hand

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Rubbing the back is more affectionate, while patting the back is a fairly neutral gesture. It’s hard to deduce the meaning of a hug from just the movement of your hands, but patting on the back is usually reserved for friends, especially when they’re slapping once or twice. ^{[12] X Research Source} Slow or affectionate patting on the upper or lower back often connotes romance or sexual attraction. ^{[13] X Research Source}

A lot of pats on the back usually means that they are comforting you or sharing your sadness for some reason. This gesture usually doesn’t express romantic feelings. ^{[14] X Research Source}

Body contact

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If it’s just the upper body touching, it’s probably a neutral hug. If only your upper body and chest are touching, it’s usually a friendly hug. If your breasts and hips touch when you hug, then there must be a sense of sexual attraction here! ^{[15] X Research Source}

It’s a bit more unpredictable if the person gives you a hug from the front and places their cheek against yours. Cheeks pressed together indicates close feelings between two people, but this can also be a gesture of affection if friends have not seen each other for a long time.

Situation

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Hugging at special events is common among friends. Special events can be happy (like a graduation) or sad (like a funeral), but no matter what, friends often hug. You can tell this by looking at the people around you – if people hug during the event don’t assume the other person has romantic feelings for you. ^{[16] X Research Source}

Frequency

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Have you hugged that person lately? If you just met them yesterday and they hug again then chances are they have feelings for you, but if you two haven’t seen each other in a while, it’s harder to tell. A friend can give you a warm, pure hug if they haven’t seen you in a while. ^{[17] X Research Source}

Steps