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This article was co-written by Sharon Lee. Sharon Lee is a successful strategist and owner of Fearless Pursuits. With over seven years of experience, she specializes in helping clients understand their goals, build confidence, and stay motivated to achieve them. Sharon advises clients through life, career and small business coaching. Sharon holds a certification as a Strategic Intervention Coach from the Robbins-Madanes Training Program and attends another training program at Erickson Coaching International.
There are 39 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 6,197 times.
People, regardless of skin colour, gender or personality, have an amazing ability to realize their potential, to feel confident, happy, and fulfilled. While this is not an easy task, there are concrete steps and changes you can make on your cognitive path.
Steps
Thinking About Yourself
- Think of two people you really admire. What do you admire about them? What inspires you? Why? How do you think those things might manifest in your own life?
- Think of a moment in your life when you felt truly content and fulfilled. What is that? Why do you feel that way?
- If you could change just one thing in your community, what would it be? Why?
- If your home burned down (and your family and pets were all safe), what three items would you like to save? Why?
- Your value beliefs are yours, and no value is “higher” or “less than” value. Some people value competition, while others value cooperation. There is nothing “wrong” in either of these two types of value beliefs. [5] X Research Sources
- For example, you really value your family, but your job takes up so much time that you don’t have time to truly spend with your loved ones. Realizing your full potential here could be finding another job that takes up less time so you can be the husband, wife, father, mother or friend you want to be.
- Or maybe you feel stuck in an often mediocre job with no hope of advancement, while your core value is aspiration. In this case, realizing your true potential could mean switching to a career that is more challenging and allows you to develop yourself on a new path.
- Start by imagining that you are empowered to make your deepest hopes and dreams come true. What will your life in the future be like? What will you do, with whom will you live? How will you feel? Visualize in as much detail as possible. For example, if you picture someone who just opened her own bakery, think about where the bakery is located, how many employees it needs, what people think about your business, and how you feel. if self-employed.
- Consider the strengths and skills your future self uses to get there. For example, if you have your own bakery, you need to be knowledgeable about the business, have good relationships with people, you are dynamic, you have a strong work ethic and baking skills, etc.
- Think about what strengths and skills you already have and what needs further development. For example, perhaps you are an excellent baker and are ready to work hard, but you don’t know how to start a small business.
- Decide how to develop the areas you have identified. In the example above, you could read business books, discuss with small business owners, and visit the website of the US Small Business Administration for guidance.
- You can change your mind as you get to know yourself better. Take a step back and ask yourself why you cherish your true potential with that image, and whether that is theoretically achievable. If you can’t at least think this through, you’re probably missing out on the opportunity to redefine your potential with the joy and meaning that come with it.
The Common Thought Trap Challenge
- For example, maybe you’re trying to invent a great future technology but haven’t been successful. You did the experiment 7 times and all failed. You can generalize from this fact and say, “I’ll never do this job because I’m a failure.”
- To handle this better, think, “This experiment didn’t work, but that’s okay, now that I’ve had more experience with it, I can try something else that might work. .” You are not a failure. You are someone who learns from mistakes and can continue to grow.
- For example, you received a school essay critique that was 70% positive, but you only focused on three points that your teacher said needed extra work and ignored the rest.
- Challenge yourself to look at the situation through the eyes of an outsider. Try to list the facts of the situation as objectively as possible. In this case, you might say to yourself, “Out of ten criticisms, seven are compliments. Three points to improve, I can strive. These negatives do not detract from the positives.”
- For example, if you want to be able to play the violin, an “all or nothing” mindset will not accept a degree of imperfection. That way of thinking doesn’t allow you to rejoice in your gradual progress as you play a piece of music; it only judges you by the mistakes you make during the learning process.
- Instead, tell yourself that perfection is an unrealistic standard that no one can achieve. Just one negative experience or one mistake cannot negate your progress. Be generous to yourself and to others.
- For example, realizing your true potential is leaving an unhappy relationship. But you think, what if I never find someone to love? I will have to live alone. The rest of my life will be unhappy. I’ll end up being eaten by my cat when I die alone in my unvisited apartment.
- One way to combat exaggeration is to find evidence for every event you imagine. Is it true that you are incapable of finding someone else to love? Are not. There are billions of people in this world, isn’t there one person with whom you can live happily? Is it true that when you live alone, you will be lonely and eaten by cats? Are not. Many people live alone and still lead a fulfilling and rewarding social life.
- For example, when you hear people say that you “should” have children at a certain age, you may feel like a failure if you’re past that age and still haven’t had children. But think again: do you really want to have children or have children right now? Or are you letting the thought of “should” make you feel nauseous? As long as you’re living your values, all those “shoulds” don’t matter.
- When you find yourself thinking about something related to a “should,” “need,” or “must,” think about where it comes from. If you determine that it stems from fear or pressure from others, resist that thought. [15] X Research Source For example, if you think, “I shouldn’t eat cake today because I should lose weight,” consider: you feel you should lose weight because your doctor advised you to do so because health, or do you feel pressured from society’s standards? If it’s for the first reason, reframe it to a positive goal: “I won’t eat that cake today because I’m striving to be healthier.” And if it’s the second reason, show more self-love: “I’m going to eat that cake today because I love myself with what I have, and I don’t have to give in to your wishes.” anyone else”.
Consciousness of Specific Goals
- For example, if realizing one’s full potential is to play vipin, then that is the overall goal. You need to break it down into goals (actions that can be done) and tasks (small and specific things) to accomplish that goal.
- So, if your goal is to be able to play the vipin, then goals might be to practice vibrato, study the work of various musicians, and go to school.
- By breaking down, you can set tasks for yourself. Break down “going to school” into tasks like identifying a vipin teacher near where you live, funding to study, buying a piano, etc.
- For example, if you think that being able to play vipin means accomplishing your goals of learning vibrato, practicing all of Vivaldi’s music, and learning how to tune, you might make tuning your goal your goal. most importantly, followed by vibrato practice, then learning all of Vivaldi’s music.
- Sometimes there are goals that need to be accomplished before moving on to other goals. Vivaldi songs use many vibrato techniques, so you need to know vibrato before you can fully play Vivaldi’s music.
- When you’re just starting out, focus on easy-to-achieve goals for early success and keep yourself motivated.
- For example, you might make learning to tune the vipin your first goal, as it’s easier than learning a piece of Vivaldi, and as such it will help you keep learning and playing the vipin (as it will standard sound as you practice).
- Make sure not to pursue too many goals at once. Otherwise, your goals will clash as they compete for your time, and you’ll end up being unproductive. [19] X Research Source
- Break these goals down into smaller tasks. A task is a small and specific thing that you can do to achieve your goal. [20] X Research Source For example, a task might be to practice a 15-minute vibrato, or do 10 beats of a Vivaldi piece for 30 minutes a day until you feel you can move on to episode 10. next beat.
- For example, each time you finish practicing a piece of music, cross it off your daily task list. Once that track is played, you can add a new track to the playlist.
Improve Way of Thinking
- Adjust “failure” into a learning experience. You will inevitably make mistakes and experience setbacks on your journey to finding your full potential. However, think of them as a way to learn and do better in the future, and you won’t be stopped by these “failures” in your progress.
- For example, if “becoming a writer” is how you want to reach your full potential, remember that there will be many challenges you must overcome to get there. Don’t blame yourself for these challenges. For example, when your submitted novel is rejected, don’t take it as proof of failure and think you should stop pursuing that goal. Some of the greatest writers of the 20th century were also rejected many times at first. Margaret Mitchell’s novel Gone With the Wind was rejected 38 times. Frank Herbert’s Sand Country was rejected 23 times. The first book in the Harry Potter series by.K. Rowling was rejected 12 times. [22] X Sources of Research The above authors ultimately succeeded because they had a growth mindset, and continuously improved their work until they found a niche.
- Focusing on smaller goals and tasks as you work towards your overall goal will help you stay motivated and energized. You will be able to complete the smaller tasks as a step towards the ultimate goal.
- Think of it this way: If you’ve determined that what you need to do to fulfill your potential is to climb Mount Everest, you certainly can’t simply go there and start climbing today. after. (That can be a quick way to disaster.) You’ll have to work out, shop for equipment, practice and train hard, and find a knowledgeable guide before you even set foot on that mountain.
- Observe your way of thinking. As you talk to yourself about your progress toward your goal, notice whether you’re being optimistic or pessimistic.
- If you find yourself saying to yourself “this is never going to work,” try thinking more positively and rationally like “others have succeeded, and so will I” or ” There will be a lot of fun when I try this!” [26] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
- Studies have even shown that positive thinking affects the brain. Positive thinking stimulates regions of the brain associated with imagination, motivation, empathy, and the “big picture.” [27] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
- If possible, talk to your role models to see how they got to where they are now. For example, if your dream is to own a small business, talk to people who have their own businesses. Ask them how they did it, what skills and strengths they used to achieve the goal.
- Do not idealize the role model. This is especially likely when your idols are people you’ve never met, such as famous stars or athletes. While their success may inspire you, don’t forget that you often fail to see the mistakes and failures they face. Don’t imagine that they are too perfect, because that will make you judge yourself based on imperfections.
- The way you interpret the things that happen in your life is called the point of control. (locus of contrp) An external point of control that places responsibility on others for bad things that have happened. [31] X Research Source For example, if you depend on external control scores, then when you fail the test you will blame the teacher for making the question too difficult. This way of thinking can prevent you from realizing your full potential because you are always blaming someone else or something else.
- The inner point of control is where you acknowledge that events are partly within your control. Although you cannot control the outcome of your actions, you can control your actions. [32] X Sources of Research For example, when you fail a test, and you admit that you should have studied more instead of hanging out with friends, you are probably using an external checkpoint. in. This way of thinking helps you to move forward because you are making your decisions, whether they are wise or not.
Perseverance Before Adversity
- If you’ve lost your enthusiasm, remind yourself of why you value reaching your full potential, and what made you so eager to accomplish your goals in the past. Ask yourself how realizing your potential will have a positive impact on you and others.
- To avoid discouragement, think of other people, such as Henry Ford or Dr. Seuss, the two characters have faced initial setbacks and difficulties, but they persevered and achieved their goals. [36] X Research Sources[37] X Research Sources
- For patience, remind yourself that realizing your full potential is a long process, and the end goal isn’t the only thing that matters. If you feel yourself getting too impatient and frustrated, try pausing and taking a break. After a break, you can be more productive, instead of constantly working with low productivity and facing the risk of burnout. [38] X Trusted Source Harvard Business Review Go to Source
- Think of the example of inventor Myshkin Ingawale. He had an idea that he wanted to develop technology to help reduce maternal mortality in rural India. He tried 32 times and also failed 32 times to achieve his goal. But now his technology has cut the death rate for the population he targets in half. [40] X Research Source
- Ask yourself what is the worst that is likely to happen if you try and fail? Most failures don’t have that bad of a result. If so, what is there to fear? In fact, many people often exaggerate their feelings of disappointment after not achieving a goal; Please keep that in mind if you are worried about the test failing. [41] X Research Source
- If it’s hard to feel proud of your accomplishments, write yourself a letter as if you were writing to a friend. Imagine that friend does what you are doing. Are you proud of her? Perhaps you’ll encourage her to keep going and say she’s doing a great job. Then why don’t you treat yourself like that? [43] X Research Source
- Humans can be “contagious” of emotions just as we can catch the flu. Surround yourself with people who are positive and working towards their goals. Their aspirations and positivity will “spread” to you. [46] X Research Source
Advice
- Don’t give up easily, but be flexible in changing your goals as you get to know yourself better.
- Improve yourself step by step and set realistic goals.
- Don’t get discouraged easily. Be persistent, be patient, and always remember that day-to-day progress will repel discouragement. Don’t forget, the best things in life always take time.
Warning
- Never despair if you think you are struggling to realize your potential. Instead, practice breathing exercises and focus on other aspects of your life, such as enjoying the moment to its fullest every now and then.
This article was co-written by Sharon Lee. Sharon Lee is a successful strategist and owner of Fearless Pursuits. With over seven years of experience, she specializes in helping clients understand their goals, build confidence, and stay motivated to achieve them. Sharon advises clients through life, career and small business coaching. Sharon holds a certification as a Strategic Intervention Coach from the Robbins-Madanes Training Program and attends another training program at Erickson Coaching International.
There are 39 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 6,197 times.
People, regardless of skin colour, gender or personality, have an amazing ability to realize their potential, to feel confident, happy, and fulfilled. While this is not an easy task, there are concrete steps and changes you can make on your cognitive path.
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