How to React to Insults or Teasing

Jokes and taunts that are just for fun can easily turn into bullying that you absolutely don’t deserve. This article lists some effective strategies for responding to teasing that no one wants to hear, starting with advice on how to react calmly and effectively in the situation. While you can’t control the person who’s bullying you, your response can stop them from teasing or insulting.

Table of Contents

Take a deep breath and calm down

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Make sure you can respond to the bully calmly and clearly. Instead of letting your immediate emotions control you, pause for a moment and take a few deep breaths to calm down. Stay calm and alert so that you can express exactly what you want to say in the way you want. ^{[1] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}

There’s nothing wrong with feeling frustrated or angry – you have every right to be angry when bullied. Don’t think you have to ignore or brush off the feeling, but hold on for the moment so you can react effectively.

Don’t insult that person back

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Avoid responding with the angry response the bully is looking for. If you get angry and insult the person back, it’s like pouring fuel on the fire. Don’t be too angry to give them a chance to take pleasure in pissing you off. Instead of getting caught up in a tit-for-tat battle, act in a positive way to prevent the bullying behavior from recurring. ^{[2] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}

If you also retaliate with insults, they will come back to insult you, and things just escalate.

Walk away or avoid the bully

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The less close to the bully the better. Avoid being around them to avoid hearing insults and teasing. While it’s not always possible, you can think of ways to reduce the time you spend with the bully, or even avoid contact with them altogether. However, you also don’t have to sacrifice your pastimes, goals, or pleasure just to avoid them. In this case, you need to have a frank response to them.

If it’s an unintentional insult from someone with no ill intentions, it’s probably best to let it go. However, if you see a pattern in their insults, ignoring them probably won’t work.
If you often get teased on your way home from school, you can choose a different but still convenient route to avoid the bully.
If you’ve been ridiculed or insulted online, consider removing the bully from your social networks or limiting your time on certain platforms.

Use humor to respond to teasing

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Try responding with a witty response if the person is not mean. Humor can dispel tension, disarm an aggressor, and even neutralize their teasing. Try making jokes when someone teases you for fun, not with malicious intent. You don’t have to join their jokes, though – if humor isn’t your style, don’t try. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

If a coworker makes fun of a poster you brought to the convention, try saying, “You’re right. This poster is really ugly. I shouldn’t have assigned my 5-year-old boy to do it.”
Another option is to be surprised and go along with the person’s joke. For example, you might say, “Oh yeah, you’re right! Thank you for showing the way!”

Oppose their bullying behavior

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Tell them directly if humor or ignoring doesn’t solve the problem. Use a firm but calm tone of voice. Make it clear that you’re not happy – be serious, don’t joke, don’t get angry, don’t be afraid, submissive, or justified. Express in plain language why you don’t accept their jokes, insults, and bullying behavior. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

If a classmate makes fun of your shoes, say, “I get annoyed when you mock me in front of other students. Please stop.”
If your co-workers keep questioning you in a joking tone, you might say, “Your teasing is actually sexual harassment. If this happens again, I will notify the manager.”

Don’t blame yourself

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Teasing and bullying behavior is the fault of the other person, not yours. People who make fun of and insult others are people who lack confidence and insecurity. Their bullying behavior is often rooted in fear, narcissism, and a need to control the situation. The act of pointing the nose at others makes them feel more powerful. If you become their target, it’s not your fault. What they say will still hurt you, but remind yourself that you don’t deserve it at all.

Understand that this is their problem, not yours. That way, you can regain your confidence in that situation. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Consider the person’s motives

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You will know how to react if you know why the other person is targeting you. They may mock you to try to trick themselves into thinking they’re better than you, because they’re jealous of you, or because they don’t understand you or your situation well. Ask yourself if they are trying to hurt you on purpose or are just trying to make a joke but are being too clumsy. Also, speculate on how they might react to your reaction patterns. ^{[6] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source}

For example, a coworker who is constantly criticizing the way you dress may be because she feels you are valued more by her boss than you are.
As another example, the other person may tease you because they don’t understand that you have a disability that prevents you from participating in an activity to the end.
It is also possible that a relative or close friend of yours teases you about a certain habit of yours that they find amusing, but unfortunately they do not realize that you are not amused at all.

Plan your response to repeated teasing

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Practice in advance so you can react effectively. If you have to be around someone who is constantly insulting or teasing you, be prepared to handle the situation. A well-prepared and well-rehearsed plan of appropriate responses can be very helpful. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Practice in advance with a close friend or family member. For example, ask your best friend to say, “Phuong Anh, your hairstyle is so bad.” You might respond with, “Thanks for your comment, but whatever you think, it’s important that I like it.”
If your boss often mocks you with disparaging words, make a plan. You can practice with a friend first by saying something like, “Mr B, you make fun of the way you talk like that as damaging and unprofessional. Please don’t do that again, or I will report to the human resources department.”

Talk to that person

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Talk to the person who bullies you if they are available. For example, if a friend or family member often makes fun of you, it may be time to talk to you about it. Make it clear how their actions make you feel and how it affects your life. Listen carefully to what they have to say and try to solve the problem.

If your mom criticizes you for your appearance all day, try saying, “Mom, I feel sad when you criticize my clothes, hair, or makeup. From now on, can you stop talking to me like that?”
Even if they don’t have any malice, you can still say if their teasing makes you uncomfortable: “I like hanging out with you and it’s fun to tease each other every once in a while, but there are certain things we don’t. Suitable for clothes, husband and children, etc…”

Tell your parents if you are young

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Let your parents help you deal with bullying. If you are a child or teen and are being teased or insulted, you need to let your parents/carers know what is going on. Tell your parents about the situation so they can help you out. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

You might say, “Mom, Dad, someone made fun of me at school. I tried to tell him to stop but it didn’t work.”

Tell an adult you trust if this happens at school.

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Find a teacher or someone you don’t mind talking to. If someone at school insults or teases you, reach out to a teacher, school counselor, or even school health worker. They are education professionals who can help you figure out how to deal with the situation. ^{[9] X Research Source}

You could say something like, “I’ve been harassed by a classmate sitting next to me all day and I don’t know what to do.”

Contact human resources if you are harassed at work

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Through appropriate channels for dealing with workplace bullying. If you are insulted or harassed in the workplace, put it in writing and follow established procedures. Write down when the bullying took place and their actions or words. Discuss the problem with your superior or go directly to the human resources department to report. ^{[10] X Research Source}

Try saying, “Mr. H. in the accounting department frequently insults my religious beliefs and that affects me. I need help with this.”

Report serious harassment at any time

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Don’t ignore bullying that is harmful, repetitive, or illegal. Don’t be afraid to sound weak when you report hurtful insults or teasing to a teacher, supervisor, parent or authority. For your own sake, you need to report it every time the bullying gets out of hand. By doing so, you also help the person who bully himself and can prevent the same thing from happening to others. ^{[11] X Research Source}

You have the right to study in a safe and distraction-free environment. If someone makes you feel unsafe or interferes with your studies, talk to a parent or teacher about it.
Sometimes teasing or insulting is against the law. For example, if a coworker repeatedly sexually harasses you with comments about your body, it’s illegal to report it quickly.
Report abusive or teasing behavior based on your identity – such as gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, religion or disability. This type of harassment is serious and may be against the law. Please notify the authorities if this happens to you.

Advice

Low self-esteem can make it difficult for you to handle teasing behavior. Try self-confidence-boosting techniques, such as saying compliments to yourself, listing your strengths and accomplishments, or talking to family and close friends about your qualities. your positivity. ^{[12] X Research Source}
Self-care habits can help you deal with insults or teasing. Try enjoying a relaxing soak in the tub, taking a leisurely walk, or doing something you enjoy like getting a manicure. Then gradually you will become more confident and appreciate yourself. ^{[13] X Research Source}
Exercise resilience to help you stand up after what you’ve been through. Part of resilience is seeing mistakes as learning opportunities rather than catastrophic failures. ^{[14] X Research Source}
Expressing assertiveness can help you deal with teasing. You’ll be more comfortable saying “no” to bullying, and more likely to respond clearly and candidly.

Steps