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This article was co-written by Nicpette Tura, MA. Nicpette Tura is a mental & physical health expert, founder of The Illuminated Body, a physical, mental and emotional wellness counseling service in the San Francisco Bay Area. Nicpette is a 500-hour yoga teacher with expertise in Psychology & Mindfulness, a National Institute of Sports Medicine certified Restorative Exercise Specialist, and a balanced lifestyle expert. She holds a bachelor’s degree in sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a master’s degree in sociology from SJSU .
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 8,763 times.
The moment of marriage proposal must be one of the most thrilling and unforgettable experiences in life. Of course, you’re bound to feel the pressure to take care of every detail to perfection. But you know what, no proposal is perfect; Instead, focus on designing a proposal that suits your future spouse. The next thing is to practice saying what you want to say and relax so you can enjoy a great experience!
Steps
Design your own proposal
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Always think about your future spouse when setting things up. Your proposal must really be suitable for that person. Instead of trying to copy or adapt what other couples do, always ask yourself, “Would she like that?” [1] X Research Source
- For example, if you know she doesn’t like being the center of attention, don’t stage a grand proposal scene at a sporting event. On the contrary, if you know she will be delighted when thousands of eyes watch her accept the proposal, then don’t hesitate to do it!
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Keep your partner’s culture and family traditions in mind when making plans. Remember that the custom of proposing varies from place to place, especially if your partner grew up in a different region or background than you. Find out and make sure to respect their traditions and any requests you may need to make. [2] X Research Source
- For example, engagement rings aren’t iconic everywhere; So is the act of kneeling on one knee when saying a marriage proposal.
- If possible, you should talk to your lover’s family to hear their advice on the best way to propose. Even if you don’t necessarily have to ask your family for their blessing first, they’ll be happy to let you know about your plans to propose.
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Stick to tradition if you know she likes it. If your partner values tradition, you should also prioritize traditional rituals. For example, you need to first talk to your lover’s parents, then buy a diamond ring, then take her to a fancy restaurant, get down on one knee, and say solemnly, “Do you agree to marry me?” Are not?” [3] X Research Sources
- If you’re not sure if your partner is expecting a traditional proposal, notice how she reacts to proposals from friends, even celebrities. You might ask, “How did you feel about that proposal?”
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Make a modern proposal if you feel it’s right for your lover. Not everyone dreams of a fairy-tale romantic proposal with enough traditional rituals. Use your understanding of your lover’s views and preferences to plan your marriage proposal. Remember that your goal is to give that person a great moment! [4] X Research Sources
- If your partner doesn’t like a diamond ring because of moral considerations or because you don’t want to spend money, you can buy a more casual ring for him or her, or both, or no ring at all.
- As long as you feel the right fit, there’s nothing wrong with sitting down and talking about the pros and cons of this important move. You can even combine a new conversation with a classic proposal once you’ve both agreed to get married.
- In many parts of the world there is still a strong (and often favored) stereotype that, for couples of the opposite sex, it is up to the man to be the one to propose. Don’t forget, though, that proposing is just doing what works best for both of you.
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Ask your partner for an engagement ring, if possible. Engagement rings are an integral part of many couples. To be sure to choose the right ring, you can browse the rings with your lover. The bad thing is that this can spoil the surprise, so you need to be a little discreet. [5] X Research Sources
- For example, notice what kind of jewelry (especially rings) catches her eye as you walk past the jewelry store in the mall. You can also remember the engagement rings of your friends that she used to love.
- If you have the opportunity, draw the circumference inside your lover’s existing ring. Bring the paper to the store and the jeweler will estimate the size of the ring.
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Have someone take pictures and record the event, if you like. If you want your proposal to be professionally recorded for later, hire a photographer or videographer to take care of it. (Or ask a good friend or relative to do this.) But maybe you should only do that if you’re sure you’ll be accepted! [6] X Research Sources
- If you’ve been thinking about it and still don’t know how to propose properly, consider hiring a wedding consultant to help you arrange the proposal. Remember that no matter what method is used, the proposal should be designed to suit your partner.
Choose the right time and place
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Consider how the two of you will talk about the future or whether or not the future should be discussed. Don’t make plans to propose until you both have a vision of being together. If you’re both thinking about the future with the subject “we” then maybe it’s time to propose, as you still talk about the future with only “you” and “me”, maybe you should. wait for the relationship to develop further. [7] X Research Sources
- When you talk about important life decisions that imply about the future – buying a house, changing jobs, getting a pet, moving to a new land, etc. you two?
- For example, if you were thinking about changing your car, would you immediately consider asking your partner about a new car model to buy, even if it was still your decision?
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Do not rush to propose when you are not sure that the person will agree. Rarely do marriage experts advise clients to “take the opportunity and hope the other side agrees”. You’ll worry less and enjoy more if you’re confident about his answer, and you’ll rest assured that he accepted your proposal because they really wanted to – not because they were bullied. surprise or because of feeling guilty. [8] X Research Sources
- You probably don’t want to have to ask, “Hey, if I proposed, would you say yes?” Therefore, you will have to use your mind to think about the state of the relationship between the two parties to determine if the time is right.
- The proposal should be like the culmination of a phase in the relationship and the starting point for the transition to a new phase.
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Make sure you’re more excited about the proposal than the performance. Clearly define what to prioritize – your main goal is to ask your lover to be your life partner, not to create the most impressive proposal in the world, right? If you’re more excited about the proposal scene than it is, then maybe you should rethink whether you’re really ready for the big event. [9] X Research Source
- Think of it like this: Any proposal that ends with “I do” is always a great story. A proposal that couldn’t be more epic but ended with a rejection wouldn’t be a good story to tell – at least to you!
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Don’t take advantage of the public setting to put pressure on the person. If you’re not sure if they’ll nod when you propose in private, don’t try to increase your chances by saying the proposal in front of many people. She may not feel obligated to agree despite her doubts. It’s hard to believe that this will be the basis for commitment and a happy marriage (if the two of you actually get married). [10] X Research Source
- You can propose in public if both conditions are met: your lover likes that type of proposal; and you are confident that they will accept when you propose in private.
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Choose a location that will later be meaningful to your future mate. For example, go back to the place where the two of you first met or first went on a date. You can also take your lover to a romantic destination she has long wanted to visit – at the top of the Eiffel Tower, for example? Think about what your lover likes to choose the right place for her wishes. [11] X Research Source
- Of course, not everyone likes a fancy place or fancy restaurant. If your partner likes to propose privately at home, go for it – it’s sure to be a memorable experience for her!
Propose fluently and confidently
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Practice what you want before the big day. No matter how much you believe in his answer, you will still get nervous while saying the proposal. Write down what you want to say, practice speaking in front of a mirror several times, and memorize it. You have to say how to make the proposal sound natural. [12] X Research Source
- Usually, it’s best to keep it short. Just say 2-4 sentences and perhaps end with the classic “Will you marry me?”
- For example, “Sang, the past two years have been the happiest time of my life because of you by my side. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. Will you marry me, Suong?”
- Or: “You know, Suong, when I think about the time before I met you, I feel like I’m digging through someone else’s memories. I have changed and better than before thanks to you. I don’t want to imagine a future without you. Suong, I love you – do you agree to be my wife?”
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Make a proposal video if it gives you confidence. This isn’t the best option in all cases – your partner may prefer an imperfect “live stream” proposal to a perfectly executed videotape. [13] X Research Source
- After a romantic dinner, the two of you can go home to watch a movie – at which point you’ll say “Oh, there’s this one you might like” and play your proposal video. You can then take out your ring and get down on one knee while she watches the video.
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Use relaxation techniques to stay calm before you propose. Breathing slowly and deeply is a very effective way to ease last-minute nervousness before you “speak up”. Alternatively, you might consider taking some time for relaxing activities before meeting your partner. Do whatever works for you, such as:
- Meditate, pray or visualize.
- Yoga, light exercise (such as going for a walk) or dynamic relaxation exercises that increase muscle relaxation.
- Write down brave words or talk to a close friend.
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Enjoy the experience instead of worrying about every detail. Regardless of what you see on social media, your proposal doesn’t have to go perfectly smoothly without any hiccups. Always keep the ultimate goals in mind: express your love and desire to be with your lover for life, and get their nod!
- Instead of worrying about the details, look into your lover’s eyes. Say what you want to say with sincere affection. Listen to her response. Enjoy every moment. This could be a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Warning
- Don’t propose while drunk. Your proposal should be something you remember for the rest of your life.
- Don’t propose if you’re not entirely sure you’re ready for marriage. If you rush to get engaged, your relationship will break down, and you will hurt your partner as a result.
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This article was co-written by Nicpette Tura, MA. Nicpette Tura is a mental & physical health expert, founder of The Illuminated Body, a physical, mental and emotional wellness counseling service in the San Francisco Bay Area. Nicpette is a 500-hour yoga teacher with expertise in Psychology & Mindfulness, a National Institute of Sports Medicine certified Restorative Exercise Specialist, and a balanced lifestyle expert. She holds a bachelor’s degree in sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a master’s degree in sociology from SJSU .
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 8,763 times.
The moment of marriage proposal must be one of the most thrilling and unforgettable experiences in life. Of course, you’re bound to feel the pressure to take care of every detail to perfection. But you know what, no proposal is perfect; Instead, focus on designing a proposal that suits your future spouse. The next thing is to practice saying what you want to say and relax so you can enjoy a great experience!
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