How to Overcome the Pain of a Breakup While You’re Still In Love: 11 Things to Do

Breaking up is always a painful experience, and if two people still have feelings for each other, it can be even harder to get over it. Unfortunately, people sometimes have to break up due to reasons such as long distance, difficult communication conditions, trust issues, or lack of a shared vision for the future. Although you may be confused right now, in time you will get better. Since you both still love each other, you might even find a way to be friends with your ex one day.

Table of Contents

Give each other space for a while.

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Both of you need time to cool off. This can be hard when you’re used to relying on your partner for everything, but after a breakup, it’s best to avoid calling or texting them. It may take at least a few weeks for the pain to subside before you can talk again, but don’t be surprised if it takes longer, especially if you’ve been together for a long time.

Try not to go to places where you know your ex used to go. You should also unfriend or unfollow each other on social media.
If one or both of you have decided it’s best to break up, keeping your distance will help avoid the temptation to get back together or see each other one last time – it will only take up more time. .
Time away from each other will help both of you look back on your feelings and know what you want if you are still wondering whether to break up or not.

Take a few days to allow yourself to grieve.

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Tell yourself that feeling sad is inevitable. When you break up with a relationship, you need to allow yourself to regulate your emotions. This is even more necessary if you still love that person very much. Don’t try to be tough and just grit your teeth and get through it. Listen to sad music, cry if you want to cry, call your best friend over to play – do whatever it takes to comfort you.

Sometimes you need a break during a breakup. Don’t be too harsh on yourself if you need to cut back on your study or work hours. ^{[1] X Research Source}
After a few days, gradually return to your daily routine. You may still be sad, but you have to start moving forward to gradually calm down.
Don’t fill your sadness with things like drugs, alcohol, unhealthy food, or jump into a new love to replace the old one. Not only will these methods not help you feel less grieving, but in the long run, it will make it difficult for you to get up and move on.

Take care of yourself.

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Keep your mind and body as healthy as possible. It’s fine for the first day or two after the breakup that you don’t want to get out of bed, but then you’ll feel much better once you start taking care of yourself. Try to sleep at the right time, exercise and eat enough to help your body stay healthy. You will feel stronger and more confident, and this will make it easier to deal with negative emotions. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Do things that make you feel relaxed and comfortable – get a massage, take a bath, or invite friends for dinner at your favorite restaurant.
Try saying out loud positive affirmations about yourself like, “I love myself and I have everything I need.”
Being outdoors in nature is also a great way to boost your mood, so try going for a walk, hike, or picnic. ^{[3] X Research Sources}
Remember that just because you still care about your ex doesn’t mean you have to stop taking care of yourself!

Chat with the people you love.

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Lean on friends and family who support you. You are experiencing the loss of an important relationship in your life, but you do not have to go through it alone. Maybe next to you, there are relatives, friends or colleagues who are always willing to listen to you share. Tell them why you can’t be together, remembering to add that even though they broke up, they still love each other. That way, not only will you feel more relieved, but you will also be able to understand a few things about this matter. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

If you’re afraid to confide in others about your problems, try venting them in a journal. This is a way for you to release your emotions privately.
If you don’t know who to talk to, try consulting a psychologist.

Keep yourself busy.

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Fill your free time with activities that make you happy. After a breakup, you’ll sometimes find that there are superfluous periods of time not knowing what to do. But don’t just sit there and miss your ex! Now is the time to do the things you really love. Watch a movie you’ve been meaning to see for a long time but haven’t had the chance to, read a good book, walk down the street and shop, sign up for a new class – you’re free to do whatever you like, So go out and enjoy!

When everything is fine, feel free to open up to dates. Even if you’re not ready to start a serious relationship, it helps to step out and see what’s new.

Look at the advantages of being single.

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Enjoy the freedom. Yes, you still love your ex, but that doesn’t stop you from enjoying your freedom when you’re not tied down. Try making a list of things you can and can’t do when you’re still with your ex and read it over and over again each time you feel down. For example, when you are alone, you can: ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Eat whatever you like
Go to bed and wake up at any time according to your own schedule
Freely watch your favorite movies and TV shows
Walk freely
Meet friends and family whenever you want
Tidy or messy as you like

Learn lessons from the breakup.

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Look back and see what you could have done differently. Maybe two people have different core values, have different wants in life, or aren’t able to resolve conflicts maturely. Once you understand where the mistake is, think about how you would handle things differently if you could go back in time. These lessons can be powerful tools to help you get up and move on.

Try to put yourself in your ex’s shoes – what do you think they want from you? For example, if you have difficulty communicating, it is possible that you are not responding to the other person’s need to be heard.
If the issue is something you can’t compromise – like, for example, one person wants children and the other doesn’t, or one thinks money and status are important and the other only values time. family time – keep this lesson in mind to choose the right person to be your future life partner.
Try reading self-help books, listen to podcasts about recovering from a breakup, or see a psychologist. These ways can all help you understand more about what you can learn from an old relationship.

Know your own strengths.

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Don’t let self-doubt creep into your head after a breakup. People often ruminate on their flaws when a relationship breaks down, but don’t listen to those critical voices. Either way, your ex really loves you, it’s just that the two of you don’t get along. Get in the habit of replacing negative thoughts with something good about yourself. Tell yourself that you deserve to be treated in a certain way, and that if your ex doesn’t respond then they’re probably not the right person for you.

For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life,” replace it with something like, “I’m funny and smart. One day I will find the right lover.”
If needed, you can make a list of your best qualities and read them whenever you feel less confident.

Set aside some time each day to be sad.

Learn to be friends again when everything is fine.

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Contact the person if you think you could be friends. It may take a few months for you to calm down, but you can decide to be friends with the other person if you still like them. Wait until you feel strong enough to talk to them about this. ^{[6] X Research Sources} When enough time passes, you can text once in a while or talk in public without feeling awkward.

However, don’t expect to be friends with them. If you can’t be together as a couple, maybe it’s better to keep your distance.

Consider reconnecting if circumstances change.

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Make it clear to each other what needs to change when you get back together. Even if they never stopped loving each other, but two people can only be happy together if they can correct their previous mistakes.

For example, if you’re breaking up because one of you wants to have children and the other doesn’t, you should only come back when one of you changes your mind.
If you break up because your ex doesn’t want to be tied down, they’ll have to prove that they’re ready for a serious relationship.

Steps