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This article was co-written by Catherine Boswell, PhD. Catherine Boswell is a psychologist and co-founder of Psynergy Psychpogical Associates, a private therapy facility in Houston, Texas. With over 15 years of experience, Dr. Boswell specializes in treating individuals, groups of patients, couples and families with trauma, relationship problems, and trauma. in life. She holds a doctorate in counseling psychology from the University of Houston. Dr. Bowell teaches master’s degree students at the University of Houston. She is also an author, speaker, and coach.
This article has been viewed 24,878 times.
Guilt is a depressing feeling that can prevent you from moving forward. Understanding how you can stop feeling negative and deal with your past actions is extremely difficult. However, the article below will guide you through the process and help you towards a brighter future.
Steps
Understand Your Mistakes
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Understand the consequences of that mistake. Most of us feel guilty because we have said or done something harmful to others. This type of guilt helps you understand when you need to take responsibility for your actions and this is completely in your favor and completely normal. [1] X Research Source
- For example, if you forget your friend’s birthday, you may feel guilty because friends are the ones who will always remember and celebrate each other’s birthdays. This is a harmless sin because it warns you about something you didn’t do and that could affect your relationship.
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Recognizing sins doesn’t help. Sometimes we feel guilty when we don’t have to. This type of sin is considered superfluous or unprofitable because it serves no purpose. It just makes us feel bad. [2] X Research Source
- For example, if you feel guilty because you have to go to work for your best friend’s birthday and can’t make it to her birthday party, this is an example of an unhelpful guilt. If you have to work and can’t make time to attend a birthday party, this is out of your control. Your friend will understand that you are required to miss her party to keep your job.
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Determine what you feel guilty about. If you feel guilty about something, it’s very important to determine what it is and why you feel that way. It will help you determine whether the sin is helpful or unhelpful. Whatever it is, you will need to accept these feelings in order to work through them. [3] X Research Sources
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Write about your feelings. Documenting your guilt will help you understand and know how to deal with it. Start writing down the reasons you feel guilty. If it’s something you’ve done or told someone, be as detailed as possible. Include descriptions of how and why the situation made you feel. What do you think you should feel guilty about? [4] X Research Sources
- For example, if you write about why you forgot your friend’s birthday. What distracted you? How did your friend react? How does that make you feel?
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Apologize if necessary. Once you determine whether your guilt is helpful or unhelpful, you will be able to determine whether you need to apologize for your actions. In case you forget your friend’s birthday, you should apologize because you didn’t do what a friend should do. [5] X Research Sources
- Make sure your apology is sincere and that you’re not justifying your actions. Taking full responsibility for your actions is extremely important in showing your friend that you really do feel guilty. Say something as simple as, “I’m really sorry for_______”.
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Reflect on your mistakes to avoid repeating them. After thinking deeply about your mistake, identifying its source, and apologizing if necessary, you should take the time to reflect on your actions to avoid a similar situation in the future. Thinking carefully when you do something wrong can help you learn from it and avoid making the same mistake. [6] X Research Sources
- For example, after checking yourself for forgetting your friend’s birthday, you may decide that you’ll be more careful about remembering important dates and take steps to prevent the situation. similar situations in the future.
Overcoming Sins of the Past
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Turn guilt into gratitude. Guilt can cause you to have thoughts of self-blame, which are unhelpful and don’t give you anything that can be applied to the future. Instead, try changing guilt into feelings of gratitude. [7] X Research Sources
- For example, if you forget your friend’s birthday, you might think, “I should have remembered that yesterday was her birthday!” This mindset won’t help you improve the situation, it will only make you feel worse for forgetting your friend’s birthday.
- Change negative thoughts into positive ones, like “I’m grateful that it reminds me that friends are so important and gives me the opportunity to prove it to them in the future” .
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Forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself, just like you would forgive your friends, is an important part of learning how to deal with your sins. If you’re dealing with mistakes that stem from things you’ve asked for forgiveness from or that are beyond your control, you need to learn to forgive yourself. One way you can begin to work through past mistakes is to forgive yourself, no matter what you did wrong, just like you would forgive a friend.
- The next time you feel guilty about something, take a deep breath and stop blaming yourself. Instead, say something like, “I made a mistake, but that doesn’t make me a bad person.” [8] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
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Draw lessons from the fictional character Scarlett O’Hara. Reflect on the saying, “After all… tomorrow is a new day”. Understand that every day is a new beginning full of promise, hope, and an opportunity to start over. Realize that your actions may be wrong, but they cannot govern your future. Although they have consequences, they don’t completely control your life.
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Do good work. Giving a hand to someone in need will benefit you as well as the person in need. While you must understand that doing good cannot change your mistakes, they will help you towards a brighter future. Several studies have shown that helping others has many benefits for your mental and physical health. [9] X Research Source
- Contact local hospitals, charities and other volunteer organizations. Even volunteering for a few hours a week can help you overcome your guilt.
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Incorporate spiritual practice into your life. Some faiths provide you with a way to atone, which can help you deal with your guilt. Consider volunteering at a monastery or practicing spirituality on your own. The benefits of spirituality and prayer go beyond alleviating guilt. Some studies have shown that they also help you reduce stress and shorten the time to heal. [10] X Research Source
- Consider going to a church and praying with others.
- Practice meditation or yoga.
- Spend time in nature and admire the beauty of the natural world.
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Consider seeking the help of a therapist if you can’t get over your guilt on your own. For some people, sin can have a negative impact on daily life. Without help, it can be difficult to understand your mistakes and decide how best to deal with those feelings. A mental health professional can help you understand these emotions and work through them.
- Remember that excessive guilt can be a symptom of an underlying psychological condition that needs to be treated. Talking to a therapist can help you understand what’s going on and decide the best course of action.
Advice
- If you want to keep your situation a secret but still need encouragement, tell someone you trust about it, like a family member or close friend.
- Guilt and obsessive thoughts can be caused by depression or another mental illness. Seek medical help if needed.
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This article was co-written by Catherine Boswell, PhD. Catherine Boswell is a psychologist and co-founder of Psynergy Psychpogical Associates, a private therapy facility in Houston, Texas. With over 15 years of experience, Dr. Boswell specializes in treating individuals, groups of patients, couples and families with trauma, relationship problems, and trauma. in life. She holds a doctorate in counseling psychology from the University of Houston. Dr. Bowell teaches master’s degree students at the University of Houston. She is also an author, speaker, and coach.
This article has been viewed 24,878 times.
Guilt is a depressing feeling that can prevent you from moving forward. Understanding how you can stop feeling negative and deal with your past actions is extremely difficult. However, the article below will guide you through the process and help you towards a brighter future.
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