How to Overcome Grief and Loss

When you lose someone so important and precious to you, grief can become very intense. Pain, sad memories and unanswered questions can haunt you. You feel like you can’t be the same, you won’t be able to smile or feel whole anymore. While there’s no way to grieve without pain, there are “healthy” ways to grieve that can move you forward. Don’t settle for a life without joy, try to get over the loss and then even if it takes a long time, you will definitely feel better.

Table of Contents

Overcoming Grief

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Facing loss. After losing a very important person, sometimes we want to do anything to ease the pain. Harmful habits such as drug use, alcohol abuse, excessive sleep, excessive Internet use, or promiscuous sex threaten your health and put you at risk for addiction and further harm. suffer more pain. You will never be relieved if you do not dare to face the truth – that loss. When you ignore the pain of the loss or lull yourself into short-term distractions (no matter how hard you try to avoid it), your grief will eventually take over. Let’s face that loss. You need to let yourself cry or grieve in whatever way feels natural to you. Accepting the pain of loss is the first step in getting through it.

When the loss is still fresh in your memory, you need to focus your attention on the grieving. However, you should set a limit for lingering mourning. Give yourself some time, maybe a few days to a week, to feel the sadness deeply. But it’s also important to note that the more time you spend wallowing in sadness, the harder it will be to get rid of that loss. Eventually, you will be paralyzed by self-pity and unable to move on.

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Release your pain. Let the tears fall. Never be afraid to cry even if it’s not something you usually do. You need to understand that there is no right or wrong way to feel or express sadness. It is important that you acknowledge the sadness and work through it. How you overcome sadness is entirely up to you, and everyone will have different ways.

Find a way out of your pain. If you feel like doing something while grieving, do it, as long as it doesn’t cause pain to yourself or others. Crying, throwing pillows, running long distances, throwing everything out, driving, screaming as loud as you can in the woods or some lonely place, and visualizing your memories are some of the ways people often choose to release his pain. Either way has the same effect.
Avoid doing anything that harms yourself or others. Loss is not about causing pain or making things worse. Loss is a time when we learn to find meaning in our feelings and learn to cope with pain.

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Share your feelings with others. Finding someone to share when you are in pain is a very good practice for you. If you can’t find any friends, rely on an empathetic stranger, priest, counselor or psychologist. Even if you find yourself talking nonsense, confused, and unsure, talking to someone you trust is a form of self-help relieve some of the pain you’re experiencing. Think of chat as a form of organizing your emotions. Your thoughts don’t have to be coherent or logical, but just help you release your emotions.

If you are worried that others will feel confused or upset by listening to you, a simple warning before you talk will help alleviate this anxiety. Just letting them know that you’re upset or confused and that some of the words you say won’t make any sense, you’ll still appreciate someone who listens to you. A caring friend or helper won’t mind.

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Distance yourself from people who don’t know how to sympathize. Unfortunately, not all of the people you choose to talk to while mourning can help. Stop caring about people who say things like “get over it,” “don’t be so sensitive,” “ I got over it quickly when it happened to me,” etc. They simply don’t. understand your feelings, so don’t pay attention to their insensitive comments. Tell them, “If you find yourself unable to bear it, there is no need to be with me while I am going through this. But no matter how you feel, I still need to get over it, so please leave me alone.”

Some people who don’t take your grief seriously can be well-meaning (but somewhat flawed) friends. Get in touch with them again when you feel stronger. Until then, steer clear of their impatience – you can’t rush into an emotional recovery right away.

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Don’t regret. After losing someone, you may feel guilty. Your mind is full of thoughts like “I wish I had one last chance to say goodbye”, or “I wish I had treated this person better”. Don’t let yourself be consumed by guilt. No matter how many times you think about it, the past cannot be changed . The loss of someone you love is not your fault. Instead of agonizing over what you “should” do, focus on what you “could” do – regulate your emotions and move on.

If you feel guilty after a loss, talk to someone you know. They will always be able to help you convince yourself that the loss was not your fault.

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Keep things that remind you of that loved one. Just because that person or pet is gone doesn’t mean you won’t miss them. You can take comfort in knowing that even though they are no longer here, the friendship, love, and personal relationships you had with them still exist. No one can take that away, the relationship you have with them will always be a part of you. Some mementos are worth keeping to remind you of your courage, resilience, and ability to envision a better future for yourself.

Keep mementos that remind you of that person or pet in a box in the corner. Only bring them out when you need a tangible object to recall your memories. Remember that leaving memorabilia around in plain sight is not a good idea as it will constantly remind you of the person who passed away and make it harder for you to move on.

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Seek help. In this society, we tend to disparage people with emotional problems, and this is a very damaging tendency. Seeing a psychologist or counselor doesn’t make you weak or pitiful, it’s a sign of strength. By seeking the help you need, you show your desire to move on and work through your grief and that is something to be grateful for. Don’t hesitate to schedule an appointment with a professional. In 2004, more than a quarter of adults in the United States had seen a psychologist within the previous two years.

Episode Towards Happiness

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Stop paying attention to sadness. Try to remember the good times and the best memories you had with that person or pet you lost. Focusing on negative thoughts or regrets won’t change what happened, it will only make you feel worse. Remember that the people who once brought you happiness will never want you to drown in sadness. Instead, try to remember the ways the person talked, the special little habits, the times you had fun together, or the things the person taught you about life and about yourself. .

If you lose a pet, remember the wonderful times it was with you, the happy life you gave it, or the special features it alone possessed.
Whenever you find yourself tending to become more sad, angry, or self-pitying, take a journal and write down the beautiful things you remember about that lost person or pet. In sad moments, you can look to this diary to remind yourself of the happiness you two had together.

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Distract yourself. By making yourself busier and making time for things that require a lot of focus, you save yourself the time to constantly think about your loss. This way also helps you realize that life around you still has many good things waiting for you.

While working or studying can temporarily take your mind off your loss, don’t overdo it to distract yourself, or you’ll find yourself with only work and sadness, and nothing else. Find more joyful pastimes by doing things that make you feel good. There are many options available to you, such as gardening, cooking, fishing, listening to your favorite song, walking, drawing, writing, etc. Choose whichever activity brings you joys. moments of fun, relaxation (something that everyday work or study cannot give you).
Participate in social activities. See volunteering as an opportunity to divert attention from your problems to the problems of others. If you like children, they are always full of surprises and their laughter can help soothe your soul.

READ More: How to Make Pillow Cakes

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Find joy in good days. A common expression of grief is that you stay at home and ignore the outside world. When you have overcome the initial sadness, take the opportunity to enjoy the sunny days. Take some time to walk, enjoy, and simply notice the natural beauties around you. Don’t try to think of specific feelings, just let the warmth of the sun and the sounds of the world permeate you. Admire the beauty of the trees and the structures you see. Let the hustle and bustle of life remind you that the world is beautiful. Life goes on, and you deserve to be a part of it and incorporate it into your daily routine.

A few scientific studies have shown that sunlight contains natural anti-depressants. ^{[1] X Research Resources} Getting out of the house will help you get out of your emotional mess.

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Get a sense of what you’ve lost. When you lose someone, unfortunately they will never exist again. However, that does not mean that the person you have lost does not exist in this world as an idea or symbol. Remember that the person or pet you lost lives on in your thoughts, words, and actions. When we talk, act or think about something that is affected by the memory of the person who has passed away, they will always be there.

Many religions have taught that people’s souls still exist after their bodies die. Other religions teach that the essence of man transforms into a different form or will be resurrected back to Earth. If you’re religious, find solace in believing that the person you’ve lost lives on forever in the form of a spirit.

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Spend time with good friends. After a loss, you may find it difficult to find the motivation to get out and spend time with friends. However, this action marks a significant development in your mood. You should reach out to friends who understand your emotional state even if you haven’t fully recovered. Find friends or acquaintances who are funny, kind, and sensitive. They’ll make it easier for you to reintegrate into your social role, so you’ll stay busy as you work through your grief.

The first outing after a big loss can be a little reserved and awkward because your friends are nervous about how to approach it. Don’t let this put you off as you still need to get back to your normal social life at some point. Be persistent, even if it takes weeks or months for everything to completely return to “normal”, spending time with good friends will always help you a lot.

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Don’t pretend to be happy. As you return to your normal life, you may feel that there are situations in your work and society that require you to be happier when you really don’t. While you’ve tried not to wallow in your sadness, you also need to avoid “faking” your joy. Fake joy makes you feel bad because it’s a burden to smile even when you don’t want to. Don’t turn fun into a boring job! Your appearance and behavior can be serious in social life as well as in work, as long as you do not interfere with the joy of others. Save the smile until you really feel happy, and it will be much sweeter.

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Let time heal the wounds. Your emotional recovery can take months to years, and this is completely normal. During that time, you can begin to show respect for the person you lost by resolving to live life to the fullest.

Don’t worry, you will never forget the people you love. You’ll also use your inner strength to find goals and achievements you’ve missed. What changes is the way you approach life from this moment on – there may be a clearer goal, a new sense of worth, or a completely changed perspective on certain aspects of life. . However, these developments won’t happen if you don’t give yourself time to heal.
While you should give yourself an appropriate amount of time to heal, remember that your life is precious and it is your responsibility to make the most of this time in your life. Your goal in life is to be happy, not sad. Don’t rush away from grief, but don’t be content with only partial recovery either. Set a recovery goal based on one of those small steps. This is what you need to do for yourself – keep going no matter how long it takes.

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Do not doubt your joy. Don’t feel guilty because you have a good feeling. There is no set amount of time for you to recover from a loss. If you find your joy quickly, don’t feel guilty because you haven’t mourned enough. If you feel like you’ve recovered from a loss, it’s likely that you ‘ve recovered for real. Don’t impose a deadline on your grief, but don’t delay your joy either. Never force yourself to feel sadder than necessary.

Advice

If someone tells you to “get over it,” don’t argue with them. This only makes you feel worse because it makes you feel less emotionally resilient than other people. In other words, you’ll start to believe that the way you’re dealing with grief isn’t right, when in reality it doesn’t matter. Just your feelings. Don’t listen to them, because they don’t understand the relationship you have with the person you love. Your wound will heal on its own and in a time that you decide for yourself.
Don’t regret anything. Don’t make yourself miserable because you haven’t had a chance to say sorry, say goodbye, or say goodbye. You can still say these words.
Remember that everyone’s feelings are different. Don’t worry if you find yourself recovering more difficult than others, even when dealing with the same loss. This often indicates the true level of intimacy between you and that loved one. Some people don’t cry, while others take months to stop crying.
You have the right to think of other things. There is nothing that requires you to bury your loss over and over to show your sadness and to show others how much the person who passed away means to you. Everyone knows that you are extremely miserable, you don’t need to prove or explain anything.
Music can help people ease grief and loss. However, try to change from sad songs to fast-paced songs, otherwise you will find yourself down and sad just because you listen to sad music for too long.
The key lies in patience. Don’t put pressure on yourself when things can happen naturally.
Life is beautiful and full of wonderful surprises for you. Just walk forward and smile, visit new places and meet new people.
Grief has a very special way of working, and everyone’s grief is different. Not everyone will be able to recover quickly and not everyone will be in extreme pain.
Love yourself. If you do fall (and you certainly will) then simply smile, push yourself to get up, and keep going.
Don’t blame yourself. Blaming won’t explain the problem, and it won’t make you feel better.
Don’t let regrets control you. “If only I had behaved better.” “I wish I had taken the time to come and play more often.”
If you need to cry, just let your emotions out. Keeping emotions inside is not good at all.
Try playing with your pets, they can tell that you’re upset and playing with them can help.
Don’t be afraid to regret something because you can’t escape this feeling, but don’t let it control you either. Even if you don’t feel the same way about saying you love or sorry to someone who’s passed away, say it until you think they heard. Guilt will always be there. Try shouting out loud what you want to say in a quiet place.

Warning

Be careful with escapes like drugs and alcohol as they can lead to other problems and addiction.
Don’t commit suicide, this world is still worth living.

Things you need

Memorabilia (photos, diaries, movies, etc.)
A personal diary to record emotions, poems, etc.
Things that remind you to eat well, exercise, and get outside to enjoy the world.

Steps

Overcoming Grief

Episode Towards Happiness

Advice

Warning

Things you need

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