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This article was co-written by Catherine Boswell, PhD. Catherine Boswell is a psychologist and co-founder of Psynergy Psychpogical Associates, a private therapy facility in Houston, Texas. With over 15 years of experience, Dr. Boswell specializes in treating individuals, groups of patients, couples and families with trauma, relationship problems, and trauma. in life. She holds a doctorate in counseling psychology from the University of Houston. Dr. Bowell teaches master’s degree students at the University of Houston. She is also an author, speaker, and coach.
There are 25 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 9,393 times.
Fear is a feeling that we all experience, especially when starting a new difficult job. Fear of failure is one of the most common and harmful fears that many people struggle with. [1] X Source of Research However, failure is often the first step towards success. Hugely successful people like Harry Potter author JK Rowling and billionaire businessman Richard Branson talk about how often they fail and how their failures contribute to their success. [2] X Source of Research[3] X Source of Research Avoiding feelings of fear seems impossible; However, you can take a hard look at your fear of failure and deal with it to create future success. Read on to learn how to overcome your fears and move towards your goals.
Steps
Adjusting the View of Failure
- Remember that many other people have been in the same situation. Myshkin Ingawale, an Indian inventor, had to test 32 models of his technology before finding a successful one. He could have given up and considered himself a failure after each setback, but he continued to focus on learning from his mistakes and applying them to later trials, and now His invention has helped reduce maternal mortality by up to 50% in rural India. [5] X Research Sources
- Studies show that, generally, successful people face failure just as much as unsuccessful people, neither more nor less. The key is entirely in how you interpret those failures. Don’t let them make you believe you can’t succeed. [8] X Research Sources
- To get ideal results, you need time and hard work. Success is a process. Don’t let any sense of failure stop you from continuing the process.
- Don’t leave the process, but embrace it, knowing that it will bring better results.
- Remember that you cannot control or predict everything. See fluctuations and unforeseen changes for what they are: external factors beyond your control. Only consider what is within your control.
- Make sure your goals are realistic and achievable.
- Try to find smaller steps toward a goal that you’re comfortable with.
- Think of larger, longer-term goals that involve those small steps that you know you can achieve.
- Write down your fears in detail. Don’t hesitate to discover exactly what scares you and why.
- Accept that those fears are a part of you. Accepting your fears can help you regain control of them.
- Improving your future plans by keeping track of what works and what doesn’t will help ease your fear of failure.
- Learn to appreciate failure. Failure is just as precious and brings as much knowledge as success.
- Experiencing failure allows you to learn from failures and avoid similar failures in the future. You may still encounter many challenges, obstacles and setbacks, but you will be better equipped to overcome with the knowledge you gain.
Dealing with Fear of Failure
- The fear of failure is often just a broad understanding of the problem.
- We may fear failure, but failure is often associated with other concepts such as self-esteem and self-awareness.
- There are links to the fear of failure as shame. [15] X Research Source
- Other fears may include fear of loss of safety from venture capital or humiliation in front of friends.
- Consider the monologues in your head about the event. We often allow our thoughts to slip into predictable and unprofitable monologues. For example, when you’re testing an invention and when the 17th attempt fails, you might hear a voice in your head like, “Yeah, I can never get it right. I am a failure.” What actually happened in this situation was simply that the test failed. It says nothing about you personally or about your potential for future success. Take these things out of your mind.
- Studies have shown that perfectionist professors produce less research and literature than professors who are adaptable and open to criticism. [21] X Research Source
- Perfectionism can also increase the risk of mental illnesses such as depression or eating disorders. [22] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source
- Even if your main goal is not achieved, you can still succeed if you learn from the experience.
- If you only focus on the negative aspects, the situation will turn out exactly like that, completely negative.
- By focusing on successes and positives, you’ll know what works, and you’ll be better prepared for the future.
- Reinforce the skills you already have. Stay up to date with the most popular practices that can be used with that skill set.
- Learn new skills. By learning new skills, you will enrich your skill set and be better prepared for the many types of situations that may arise as you pursue your goals.
- Allow yourself to feel uncomfortable. Everyone has moments of feeling uncomfortable or afraid of a challenge, even the most successful billionaire entrepreneurs. [26] X Research Source Understand that fear is natural and normal, and stop fighting it or overcoming it. Instead, tackle the task even though it’s still scary.
- Don’t forget to break your big goal down into smaller ones. Knowing the small pieces that you know you can accomplish will make your big goals less intimidating.
- Moving forward will provide you with new information and allow you to tailor your action plan for success.
- Find a hobby or activity you’re not good at. Start practicing and wait for the failures you face, understanding that those failures will only increase your chances of future success.
- For example, you try to play a new instrument. Failure often occurs in the process of practicing playing an instrument. That way you have more of a chance to feel more comfortable with failure. It will also show you that failure is not complete or attenuated. Just because you messed up the first hundred times with Moonlight Sonata doesn’t mean you’ll never get it right.
- You can try asking a stranger for something as simple as a mint or asking for a discount on a certain item. Your aim is to fail, turn failure into success, and neutralize the fear that can affect your behavior. [28] X Research Sources
Overcoming Panic of Fear
- Fast heartbeat or irregular heartbeat.
- Difficulty breathing or choking.
- Tingling, shaking, or sweating.
- Lightheadedness, dizziness, or feeling like you’re about to pass out.
- Slowly inhale through your nose for 5 seconds. Use your diaphragm instead of your chest to inhale. Then the part that is raised is your belly, not your chest.
- Inhale through the nose at the same rate. Make sure to push all the air out of your lungs and focus on counting to 5.
- Repeat until you start to feel calm.
- You can stretch and relax all your muscles at once to quickly relax your entire body.
- For better relaxation, start by tensing the muscles in your feet, hold for a few seconds, and then release. Gradually apply to upper body, stretching and releasing muscles in shins, thighs, abdomen, back, chest, shoulders, arms, neck, face.
Beat Negative Thinking
- S top – Stop what you’re doing. If you’re doing anything, you should also stop and back out of the situation. Give yourself time to think before reacting.
- Take a deep breath – Take a deep breath. Take a few seconds to cleanse your body with a few deep breaths. This move will restore oxygen to the brain and help you make more informed decisions.
- O bserve – Observe what’s going on. Ask yourself a few questions. What are you thinking right now? What are you feeling? What “scenario” is on your mind? Are you reviewing events? Are you taking your opinions seriously? What are you focusing on?
- Pull back – Step back to see further. Look at it from the perspective of an objective observer. What will they see from the situation? Is there any other approach? How important is this situation in the grand scheme of things – is it still important 6 days or 6 months from now?
- P roceed – Conduct execution based on your principles. Move forward with what you know and are determined to do. Do what works best for your value system and goals.
- Think about how you might advise your friends. Imagine a friend or loved one is in your situation. Maybe your best friend is afraid of her decision to quit her main job to pursue her dream of becoming a musician. What will you say to her? Do you immediately picture her failure? Or will you find a way to support her? Give yourself the compassion and trust you have for your loved one.
- Think about whether you are generalizing. Do you take a specific example and generalize it to your entire experience? For example, when your science project didn’t work out, did you expand into every aspect of your life and say things like “I’m a failure”?
- For example, perhaps you are worried that you will fail if you change your major to something else that you really want to study but is challenging. From there, your thoughts can spiral into disaster: “If I fail that major, I’ll fail college. I will never find a job, will live off my parents for the rest of my life. I won’t be able to date and get married or have children.” Obviously this is an extreme case, but it is an example of how fear can send your thoughts wandering to odd places.
- Try to put your thoughts in perspective. For example, if you’re afraid to change your major because you’re afraid of failing, consider: what’s the worst that could happen, and what would it be like? In this case, the worst that can happen is that you’re not good at organic chemistry (or whatever you like) and fail a few courses. This is not a disaster. There are many things you can do to overcome this setback such as hiring tutors, studying more, and talking to professors.
- The more likely case is, you’ll find the new subject difficult at first, but you’ll study, progress and finish college, glad you followed your passion.
- Find evidence against your assumptions. For example, you might be afraid to go to a party because you’re afraid you’ll say something silly or make a joke. This fear of failure can prevent you from participating in social activities and socializing with people. However, you can consider previous experiences and the experiences of others to overcome this fear.
- For example, you might think of one of your friends or anyone you know who has been in an embarrassing situation. You can certainly find someone with a communication mistake. Do they become evasive or seen as failures by others? Probably not.
- The next time you find yourself fearing failure and being judged for it, remind yourself: “Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. I allow myself to make mistakes or look silly. That won’t make me a failure either.”
- If you encounter people who are harshly judgmental or overly critical, understand that the problem is with them, not with you.
Advice
- You can get overwhelmed if you think about all the projects at once. Think in terms of smaller steps that you know you can complete.
- If you learn from an experience, that is also a success.
- Be generous with yourself, everyone is afraid sometimes.
This article was co-written by Catherine Boswell, PhD. Catherine Boswell is a psychologist and co-founder of Psynergy Psychpogical Associates, a private therapy facility in Houston, Texas. With over 15 years of experience, Dr. Boswell specializes in treating individuals, groups of patients, couples and families with trauma, relationship problems, and trauma. in life. She holds a doctorate in counseling psychology from the University of Houston. Dr. Bowell teaches master’s degree students at the University of Houston. She is also an author, speaker, and coach.
There are 25 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 9,393 times.
Fear is a feeling that we all experience, especially when starting a new difficult job. Fear of failure is one of the most common and harmful fears that many people struggle with. [1] X Source of Research However, failure is often the first step towards success. Hugely successful people like Harry Potter author JK Rowling and billionaire businessman Richard Branson talk about how often they fail and how their failures contribute to their success. [2] X Source of Research[3] X Source of Research Avoiding feelings of fear seems impossible; However, you can take a hard look at your fear of failure and deal with it to create future success. Read on to learn how to overcome your fears and move towards your goals.
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