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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 15,260 times.
If you have been married for a long time, then it is time to rekindle the flame of love with your wife. During the dating stage, couples often have strong feelings of love and there are countless methods to win that love. However, after marriage, there are many factors that shift the focus to many other responsibilities, such as work, maintaining the home, and taking care of children. Love comes in many different forms, so finding the one your wife loves is important to make her fall in love with you all over again.
Steps
Rekindle the Flame of Romance
- Start the day by complimenting your wife. Let her know how beautiful she is and how lucky you are to have her in your life.
- Persist. If she declines your compliment or she cuts you off every time you compliment her because she doesn’t think you’re being sincere, stick with it. Talk to her one more time and look deep into her eyes, then give her a hug to let her know that you’re serious.
- An indirect way to compliment your wife is to stop the habit of making eye contact with other women. A harmless look won’t hurt anyone, but if you stare and or make comments, it will hurt your wife’s feelings. Focus on her; and she will appreciate it.
- Proudly showing off his wife in front of others. If she hears you doing this, she’ll fall in love with you. Or someone will even tell her what you said, and she’ll appreciate it.
- Buy her a warm robe so she can wrap herself up after a hot bath or shower.
- Allow her some free time to relax and do what she wants around the house.
- Cook her favorite dinner. All she did was just show up and sit at the table. You will take care of the rest.
- Buy her a pair of velvet slippers to wear around the house.
- Prepare yourself for a picnic and choose a place with lots of beautiful scenery.
- Scented toiletries will work. Bring her some soap and make a hot tub strewn with rose petals. Then, have her robe and slippers ready after she comes out.
- Of course, chocolate always works.
- Write your most romantic memories and thoughts on a beautiful letterhead. Spray a small amount of her favorite perfume on the letter. Get romantic and write a letter every week of the year.
- Do not copy a few sentences that you find online. Make sure the letter is handwritten and honest by showing your appreciation for her and clearly describing how you feel when you write down your thoughts. This will help you put a personal touch on the letter.
- Try writing poetry. Even if you’ve never written poetry, she’ll appreciate your sincere effort.
- Try something natural and adventurous, like going to the airport with no luggage or no destination and taking a plane to somewhere you’ve never been.
- Do something inspiring, like doing a new activity together. Try pottery, ice skating, or sign up for a relaxing massage class.
- Find something new, like hot air balloon rides, horseback riding, or rock climbing.
- Recreate the journey back to where you two first met. Kiss and compliment her like you did when trying to win her heart in the old days. Visit the restaurant where you two went on your first date or go to the movie theater where you both saw your first movie together.
- Sit back and relax and watch the wedding video again. Tell her how beautiful she was on that special day and how beautiful she still is today.
- There is no “specific amount of sex” in marriage. Focus on quality over quantity if you’re trying to make your wife fall in love with you again. Pay attention to all the special actions that might prove to her that you are “making love for love” rather than “for lust”.
- While it would be great to light a few candles after a bath with some soothing music in a romantic bed-and-breakfast setting, the quality doesn’t have to be romantic. Quality sex should become intimate with the desire to show your wife that you really love her.
- This also means taking care of yourself. Throw dirty clothes in the bin and clean the sink after shaving.
- Pay attention to your own behavior. Living with someone for a long time brings comfort and peace of mind, and you shouldn’t take advantage of that. Behave in moderation when your body needs it, such as saying “Sorry” when you burp or “dropping the bomb”.
Help with chores around the house
- Housework also means taking care of children. Brushing teeth, taking them to the toilet, brushing their hair, getting dressed, and feeding them breakfast is a time-consuming process. If you’re willing or on behalf of your wife to take on these responsibilities a few days a week, she’ll appreciate the time you save her and your attention to the kids.
- If feeding, brushing, and walking your dog is not your responsibility, volunteer to occasionally take care of the dog or other pet. This will make both you and your dog happy.
- A few nights a week, you should wash dishes and furniture or even polish them. Try doing the same with clothes, like doing laundry and ironing, so she doesn’t have to get her hands on those things.
- Acknowledging your wife’s hard work is important because there are rarely rewards, raises, or promotions for the jobs she does around the house. She deserves credit for keeping the family moving forward.
- Acknowledge your wife’s contribution by saying she’s the reason why you call this a “home” and not a “home to live in.” heart, love, and ingenuity in bringing this to the home.
- Other small things you can do is hold your wife’s hand when you go out for a walk or put your arm around her when sitting together watching TV. These little “love messages” let her know that you still care and that you are happy to have her around.
- Don’t forget to say “Thank you!” Remember, just because you’re married doesn’t mean she’s not a woman, or a human. Saying thank you will show appreciation for all the hard work she’s put in.
Together Feeling Satisfied
- During the conversation, make sure to make eye contact, give her your full attention, and understand what she’s saying.
- Listening also shows that you are trying to understand her better. Remember the first time you two went on a date and how excited you were with everything she said? Try to bring it up again and get her interested in you again. Empathize with everything she says.
- Show that you’re really focused on her with body language and affirmative words, like leaning slightly while she’s speaking, maintaining eye contact, nodding, holding hands, saying “Yes,” or “I agree,” and questioned when she paused.
- Loyalty is very important in demonstrating that both your body and your soul will always be there for your wife when she needs you. When something goes wrong, she will know that you are always there to support her with words of encouragement and practical actions.
- Loyalty also means keeping a promise. Don’t do anything that discredits your word or disappoints her.
- Respect your wife’s weaknesses and complement them, just as she will complement yours. Being faithful doesn’t mean being ashamed or taking out your anger on her because she has a weakness.
- Tell others nice words about your wife. It’s okay to share your frustrations with a trusted friend, but never embarrass your wife. A faithful spouse will not speak ill of his wife behind her back.
- Try to think and write down each goal separately. When you and your wife are done together, compare the notes together. Are there any similar or similar goals? If so, list them as “common goals”.
- Redefining goals with your wife will help set the course for many years to come. This will show her that you care about marital success and demonstrate to her that you are planning for a long and lasting marriage.
- When you share serious long-term goals with your wife, you also give her a sense of maturity and security. Something makes her want to take better care of you.
- Celebrate success. When you reach your goal over time – celebrate success. This can be something the two of you achieve together as a real couple and should be rewarded and celebrated for each milestone along the way.
- Take time and care for your wife and children. This will make the wife feel more secure about the relationship and useful for teamwork skills in the family.
- Give your wife a sense of security by being assertive. Communicating with your wife assertively will make both of you feel happy and fulfilled by increasing emotional honesty, expressing your feelings clearly, respecting your wife’s point of view, and gently tell her your needs.
- Sympathize when your wife has difficulties at work or at home. Hold her tight, tell her how much you love her, and let her know that everything will turn out well. Taking the time to do this will help your wife fall in love with you again.
- Besides, be nice to others. Women love to see their partners turn into chivalrous, patient, and empathetic gentlemen. When you show this to other people, she will especially fall in love with you.
- Encourage her to have a “lady night out” with friends to relax and have fun without worrying about everyday life.
- Encourage her to pursue a hobby that makes her focus on a few things rather than taking care of her family all the time.
- Counseling is a proactive step toward strengthening your relationship and getting to know your partner better all the time, not just when you’re in a crisis.
- Therapy can train you to apply skills needed to strengthen a marriage, such as frank communication, problem-solving, and how to discuss disagreements.
- Attending a counseling session will help you analyze the positives and negatives of the relationship, and identify the causes of conflict.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 15,260 times.
If you have been married for a long time, then it is time to rekindle the flame of love with your wife. During the dating stage, couples often have strong feelings of love and there are countless methods to win that love. However, after marriage, there are many factors that shift the focus to many other responsibilities, such as work, maintaining the home, and taking care of children. Love comes in many different forms, so finding the one your wife loves is important to make her fall in love with you all over again.
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