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This article was co-written by Courtney Quinlan. Courtney Quinlan is a matchmaker, dating coach, and owner of Midwest Matchmaking. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in finding partners for clients, guiding them through the dating process and organizing events for singles in the Midwest. She holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Nebraska at Omaha.
This article has been viewed 66,561 times.
Getting your girlfriend to forgive you can be no easy task, especially if you deeply hurt her and betrayed her trust. If you want to win her back, you need to show her you’re truly sorry and make it clear that it won’t happen again. When doing this, you need to be patient and give her time to accept your apology. If she’s willing to let it go, you should take it slow and focus on rebuilding your relationship.
Steps
Chat
- When talking to her, remember to make eye contact, put away your phone, and don’t look around. Show her that you’ve removed all distractions and that her happiness is your priority.
- Maintain brevity and simplicity. You don’t have to explain in a big, complicated way why you did what you did, unless you feel it’s absolutely necessary. Most importantly, you need to make it clear how sorry you are.
- You can say something like, “I’m so sorry about what I did to you. I’m so sorry and wish I hadn’t hurt you. You mean so much to me and I feel like a fool for putting everything in jeopardy.”
- Make it clear that you are the one who did the wrong thing, that her reaction is completely normal and understandable. If you don’t make it clear and make it sound like she’s the one who made the mistake, you won’t be able to win her back quickly.
- She won’t forgive you if you hide or are clearly still lying to her. She will only get angrier, more heartbroken, and more frustrated with you.
- If you’re worried that your honesty won’t come out right, it’s a good idea to rehearse what you plan to say so you don’t hurt her even more.
- If you’ve cheated on her, say something like, “I’m so sorry I cheated on you. He would never flirt with other girls or even look at them. I know how important you are to me and I will never do something stupid like that again. I won’t avoid you, and you can always call or text me to see what I’m doing so you don’t have to worry.”
- Just remember that actions are more important than words. Letting her know about your plan not to keep hurting her will help you succeed, but keeping your word is even more important.
- You could say something like, “I’m sorry for calling you bad names. The next time he gets angry, he’ll step outside and take a breather or take a few minutes to talk. Later, he will think before speaking so as not to accidentally say something he does not want. I’m even thinking about taking an anger management class if I can’t deal with the problem on my own.”
- If you let her know your plan, make sure you’re ready to go through with it so she can really trust you.
- You can practice your listening skills with feedback. After she has expressed her thoughts, you can say something like “I heard you say…”, or “I see that you feel like…” to let her know you’ve thought about it.
- Although you will want to argue or argue once she has stopped talking, you should remember that at this point you are the one who is apologizing. You can present your point of view to her, but don’t be aggressive, or she will become even more angry.
- Be specific. Don’t just say that she’s the most amazing girl in the world; You should relate to specific qualities that show that you really care about her.
- You don’t have to pretend. If you really care about her, she’ll soon notice it as soon as you apologize.
Regain her trust
- Be patient with her. If she doesn’t want to see or even talk for a while, you need to respect this. While you’ll want to check in on her often, you shouldn’t overwhelm her, or she’ll get more upset.
- Let her know that you’ll be waiting, ready, and hoping to see her again soon. Show her your pain and how much you want to see her and make up for her.
- This also applies to expressions of affection and intimacy. Before she’s ready, don’t try to “swallow” her with hugs, touches, kisses, or try to hold your hand or put your arm around her when you get the chance, or act. This action will slow down the whole process.
- Let her decide. If she wants to go to a party with you, you can, but you shouldn’t force her on a public date if she’s not ready.
- Do not “promise”. If you can’t deliver on your promise, you need to have a good reason.
- Be there every time she wants to chat or needs some advice. Show her that you want to make an effort to listen and make her happy.
- Being trustworthy is important, but you need to make sure she doesn’t feel like she has the right to look down on you just because you screwed things up. You need to keep your dignity.
- If you’re going out with friends, let her know where you’re going and what activities you plan to do.
- While she doesn’t have to keep an eye on your every move, you should try to be open about your plans so she doesn’t worry that you’ll hurt her again.
- If you’ve been apart for a few days, you can call her and check in to let her know that she’s still on your mind.
- You can be more helpful, kind, and affectionate than usual, but you shouldn’t completely forget about yourself in the process. Make sure you still make time to pursue your own interests instead of spending your entire life just to make your girlfriend happy.
- You can give her flowers or chocolates if things are going pretty well, but if you give her too many presents when she’s not in the mood, she’ll think you’re trying to buy her affection.
- It can be hard to completely stop looking at other beautiful women, but you can minimize it when you’re with the person you love by thinking about the disappointment this will bring to her. .
- If you’re going out with friends and a few other girls you know, let her know so she doesn’t have to find out through other people.
- Take the time to really enjoy spending time with her and make her feel special. You should focus less on reconciling with her and more on enjoying the relationship again.
- If she has complaints about things that have nothing to do with the fact that you made her angry, like you’re always late for appointments, remember to acknowledge them as well.
Back to a healthy relationship
- You don’t have to be overly affectionate with her, but you shouldn’t look down on her either. Don’t assume she knows how much you care for her just because you’re seeing each other; Show her your care through words and love.
- Write a sweet love note for her or even write a handwritten letter to express your interest in her.
- Become attentive. If she mentions a new book she wants to read, you should let her know that you listened to her by giving it to her.
- These operations need not be overly complicated. You can learn to make pasta together, join a bowling tournament, or discover a new program. It is important that the two of you need to work together to keep the relationship fresh.
- You don’t have to do too many things at once. Make an effort to do at least one new thing every week or two while continuing old activities you both love to help your relationship thrive.
- An important part of the communication process is learning to compromise. Make sure you both find a way to make the other person happy when it comes to making decisions, and that one person won’t always be able to get their way.
- Try to read your girlfriend’s expressions and body language. Maybe she’s upset but won’t tell you, and there will be times when you need to ask if everything is okay. She’ll appreciate you really paying attention to her.
- You should try to enjoy the relationship as it is, instead of completely focusing on reconciling with your girlfriend.
- Of course, if your girlfriend wants to talk about what happened, you shouldn’t hide, but you need to work harder to bring up other topics of conversation.
- If you have the feeling that your girlfriend can’t completely forgive, you need to have an honest conversation with her about this. In this case, the sooner you know about it, the better.
- If you have to end the relationship because of your mistake, the best thing you can do is treat it as a learning experience and make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Advice
- One thing you should do when you are in a bad situation with your girlfriend is to let her know that you love her very much and that you will do everything you can to keep her. Even if it’s her fault, take responsibility and let her know that you want to work things out so you can work through the problem together.
This article was co-written by Courtney Quinlan. Courtney Quinlan is a matchmaker, dating coach, and owner of Midwest Matchmaking. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in finding partners for clients, guiding them through the dating process and organizing events for singles in the Midwest. She holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Nebraska at Omaha.
This article has been viewed 66,561 times.
Getting your girlfriend to forgive you can be no easy task, especially if you deeply hurt her and betrayed her trust. If you want to win her back, you need to show her you’re truly sorry and make it clear that it won’t happen again. When doing this, you need to be patient and give her time to accept your apology. If she’s willing to let it go, you should take it slow and focus on rebuilding your relationship.
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