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The feeling of being ignored is not pleasant, even if the person ignoring you is a friend, lover or sibling. Sure, you really want to do something until they react, but the best way is to do nothing. Get on with your day-to-day life while they process their feelings. The good news is that they won’t ignore you for life! Once things have settled down, try setting up a face-to-face meeting with them to discuss the problem and come up with a solution together that will make both of you feel better.
Steps
Give them their own space
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Try to figure out why they ignore you. Depending on the situation the reason can be very obvious. For example, if you just had an argument with your wife, you will know for sure why she made a cold face to you. However, if you don’t notice any problems between you and the other person, try to think about whether you did something that upset them.
- For example, you were talking about a friend’s privacy when they were not present. What you said could have been transmitted to their ears.
- If you left someone out of your plans or didn’t return their calls or texts, they may have been hurt by your actions.
Tip: In some cases, you probably didn’t do anything to get yourself ignored. If the person ignoring you is someone you have a crush on or have feelings for, it’s best to just forget about them. You deserve better treatment!
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Wait for them to calm down. Regardless of the reason for ignoring them, you should not stick with them because this is the worst thing to do. Don’t send hundreds of texts or phone calls in a row, or keep asking why they’re ignoring you. Give them time to acknowledge their feelings or think about whether they still want to contact you and how. [1] X Research Source
- Just one text or one call is enough, don’t send multiple texts like “Why are you ignoring me?”, “Did I do something wrong?” or “Talk to me!”. These messages not only make them feel uncomfortable, but they also make you look desperate.
- You will find it difficult not to try to solve the problem right away. However, you can’t control other people, so it’s best to give them space.
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Distract yourself with work, study, or hobbies. Trying to figure out why someone is ignoring you or obsessing over the fact that they’re ignoring you takes a lot of your time and energy. However, this doesn’t work and will make you sadder. Get on with your daily life and activities. Getting yourself to focus on work or school is an effective way to avoid thinking about the problem you’re having. [2] X Research Source
- In your spare time, make time to do things you enjoy, whether it’s fishing, baking, soccer, woodworking, poetry, swimming, knitting, or coding!
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Spend time with someone you care about. While you may feel bad about keeping your distance from the important person in your life, they’re probably not the only person you want to spend time with. Get in touch with other friends and relatives and ask them out. You need to take the time to build other relationships and create meaningful moments together. [3] X Research Sources
- Making sure your emotional needs are met is very important, especially when you are struggling with an important relationship.
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Review how you have reacted to ignoring behavior in the past. If the person has been cold-faced at you in the past and you focused all of your attention on getting them to talk to you, they are probably trying to get you to do the same. [4] X Research Sources
- This is another reason why it’s so important to avoid becoming clingy or begging for their attention – perhaps they ignore you just to get you to react. Responding this way lets them know that ignoring you will get them what they want, even though it’s not the healthiest way to deal with the problem.
Direct exchange
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Contact to arrange an in-person meeting. If you care about the person ignoring you and want to resolve the conflict, face the problem. Live chat is better than texting or calling because the two of you will see each other’s facial expressions and determine how sincere each other’s words and actions are. [5] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
- You can call, text or send a message to schedule an appointment. Try saying, “I know you’re angry and I really want to talk to you about something. Can we meet at the coffee shop at 10 a.m. Saturday?”
- Try to choose a neutral meeting place so that no one has a “home field” advantage.
Tip: The person may not respond to your request or refuse to meet. In this case, there’s not much you can do. If you’re comfortable talking to them about the issue, let them know so they can contact you when it’s ready.
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Directly ask why they ignore you. Now that the person has agreed to talk to you, let’s get it straight. Even if you know why they’re ignoring you, you should still express your desire to hear an explanation from their point of view. You will be surprised at the truth of the matter or why they think ignoring you is the right way to solve the problem. [6] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
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Listen to what they say carefully. Avoid taking precautions or thinking of denial while they are speaking. This can be difficult, especially when they accuse you or think you are wrong. Even so, try to listen to what they have to say, understand every word, and try to see the problem in their place. [7] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
- Use body language to show you’re listening by keeping eye contact and nodding when you understand or agree.
- Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you need clarification. You can also repeat what they say to make sure you get the point.
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Sorry if you’re wrong. If you make your partner angry or hurt, take responsibility for your actions. Lower your ego so you can admit your mistake and apologize sincerely. Enhancing their feelings will be very effective in healing the relationship. [8] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
- Try saying, “I’m sorry I didn’t invite you to a date with the other girls. I know this has hurt you.”
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Explain your thoughts. Once the person has spoken emotionally and feels heard, it’s time to explain how the conflict is affecting you. Use a first person clause to talk about your feelings and don’t forget to let them know how you felt when they ignored you. [9] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
- For example, you could say, “I felt sad and worried when you refused to talk to me. I cherish our friendship and want to change things for the better.”
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Work together to negotiate or come up with a solution (if possible). By now, you probably already know if the relationship will heal. In some cases, an apology is enough. In other cases, it will take time and effort to mend the relationship. Let’s figure out what to do next together. [10] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
- Each person can come up with a solution and a compromise to find what works for both of you.
- Making promises is easy, but delivering on promises is much more difficult. Make sure you’re really willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild trust in the relationship, if that’s the case.
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Accept that the relationship can’t be mended. If the person ignoring you behaves like that to get you to do what they want (or not do what they don’t), they are manipulating you. This is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. If you find friends or family members often use this behavior, especially after you’ve discussed the matter with them, it’s better not to maintain a relationship with this person. [11] X Research Source
- Likewise, if you don’t want to spend time in this relationship, perhaps deciding to let go is the way to go.
X
This article is co-authored by a team of editors and trained researchers who confirm the accuracy and completeness of the article.
The wikiHow Content Management team carefully monitors the work of editors to ensure that every article is up to a high standard of quality.
This article has been viewed 71,428 times.
The feeling of being ignored is not pleasant, even if the person ignoring you is a friend, lover or sibling. Sure, you really want to do something until they react, but the best way is to do nothing. Get on with your day-to-day life while they process their feelings. The good news is that they won’t ignore you for life! Once things have settled down, try setting up a face-to-face meeting with them to discuss the problem and come up with a solution together that will make both of you feel better.
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