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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 14,430 times.
Whether someone likes or dislikes you is not entirely within your control, but you can influence their thoughts in a positive way. Make others like you, whether it’s a new friend or someone you have a crush on, by smiling and bringing joy every time you’re with them. Also, another effective way is to get to know their concerns and encourage them to share more. No matter what, always be yourself. However, if they can’t like the real you, they’re not worth your effort!
Steps
Be attractive and approachable
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Maintain personal hygiene. Before you meet someone, perform basic personal hygiene steps such as: showering, combing your hair, brushing and flossing between your teeth, using deodorant, and wearing clean clothes. You should also chew gum and spray some perfume. [1] X Research Source
- When you look good and smell good, you feel great. As a result, you will be more confident and more likable in the eyes of others.
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Smile at the person you meet. A sincere smile shows your concern and joy for the other person; So show them your sunny smile. The fact that you smile when you meet other people also makes you look more attractive and friendly. [2] X Research Source
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Show confidence and use relaxed body language. Your posture can radiate confidence and make you more attractive. Sit with your back straight, chest out, and head held high. In addition, you also need to relax your arms and legs, make eye contact, and turn your body toward the person you meet. [3] X Research Sources
- You can also create a strong stance to look more confident by placing your hands on your hips or placing your hands behind your head to create an inverted triangle.
- Whatever pose you choose, remember to always relax instead of forcing. Forced body language makes you look unnatural and makes others think you’re acting. You can practice open, confident body language when you’re alone.
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Remember the name of the person you meet and something about them. Remembering and calling other people’s names makes them feel special; so do this often in conversation. You should also show your appreciation for them (which will eventually make them like you) by mentioning a few little things you know about them. [4] X Research Sources
- For example, you could say “Hi An! How’s your math test?” if the two have previously mentioned studying.
- Avoid spying on other people’s information online to find out their preferences. If you talk about concerns they haven’t told you before, the conversation will become unnatural. From there, they will assume that you give them unhealthy attention.
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Respect the boundaries and communication space of others. You can get people to like you by avoiding creating embarrassment or discomfort. Maintain moderation by standing an arm’s length away from them during a conversation. Also, don’t inquire into other people’s personal affairs or mention delicate matters. [5] X Research Sources
- When you’re sure the other person has a crush on you, you can move closer during the conversation.
- Gradually, others will feel more comfortable sharing personal stories with you as they get to know you better.
- Respecting boundaries also applies to social media. Don’t flood your partner’s social media pages or push your virtual relationship status further than your actual relationship status. He or she will feel that your actions are over-the-top and lacking in moderation.
Show interest
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Encourage others to talk about their hobbies and interests. If you know of some common interests, start the conversation from here. On the contrary, you can still ask open-ended questions to find out what the person likes. [6] X Research Sources
- For example, you would ask, “What brought you to this conference?” or “What kind of music do you like?”
- Open-ended questions help you get answers with more information to keep the conversation going.
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Show thoughtfulness. Do something for others without their help. However, you also need to make sure it’s the right course of action. It’s best to choose things that friends or acquaintances usually do for each other, but still appropriate for the relationship between you and the person.
- For example, if they can’t make it to a certain class, you can ask if they’d like to borrow your notebook to transcribe the lecture. When they are sick, bring warm food to them.
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Become a good listener. Listen to what others have to say, because we all love to talk about ourselves. You should look them in the eye and listen to what they have to say without interrupting. [7] X Research Sources
- When they stop talking, you should restate what they just said to make sure you understand what they’re talking about. It shows them that you’re really listening and gives them a chance to clear up any misunderstandings so you can fully understand their message.
- Listen with your whole body. Look the other person in the eye, lean slightly towards them, nod to show agreement or understanding.
- Note, if you spend all your time talking about yourself, you won’t know anything about the other person, and they’ll think you’re not interested in them. You should let them talk more.
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Praise that person. Compliments make listeners feel special and make them feel good about you. Compliment their looks, skills, or point of view in conversation. However, don’t just focus on one aspect, such as appearance. [8] X Research Sources
- You might say, “Your shirt is beautiful! I’m a Harry Potter fan too” or “Oh, that’s a great idea!”
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Make others laugh. You can make witty comments or tell jokes, because people usually like happy people. Laughing together strengthens the bond between two people. As a result, that person will have a more favorable view of you. [9] X Research Source
- Do some bouncing every now and then to show your joy, gently tease someone, or send them a funny meme. The way you make others laugh will definitely make them like you more!
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Ask others for help or advice. Often, we are attracted to people who accept instruction openly and inquisitively. Furthermore, if someone gives you advice or helps you, they will feel a deeper attachment to you because we often help those we care about. [10] X Research Source
- You might say, “I remember you said you were computer savvy. My laptop is hanging. Can you help me check the computer?”
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Helping others. Helping others makes them like you the same way you ask them for help. Help someone do a few little things and they will like you more. [11] X Research Source
- If you know the person always forgets to bring a pencil to class, have a pencil ready for them. If they really need someone to take care of their pet on the weekend, you can ask for help.
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Prioritize spending time with them. Often, we want to spend time with someone who wants to spend time with us; So show that person that you enjoy being with them. When you say goodbye, you should express how happy you are to be with them and how you look forward to seeing them again. [12] X Research Source
- This also means that you will be on time. If you’ve made a date to hang out with your partner on Thursday, don’t let them “climb the tree” to hang out with someone else.
Always be yourself
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Don’t be afraid to reveal something a little out of the ordinary. Maybe you think you should be mature in front of the other person. However, in reality, they also have unusual habits and they feel more comfortable if you don’t hide your habits. Feel free to sing even if it’s out of tune, admit that you still watch your favorite cartoon from your childhood, or reveal that you have a habit of eating bread with milk. [13] X Research Source
- Sharing some silly things that are unique to you will help you become closer to that person. In addition, the relationship between the two of you is also stronger when you are not afraid to share the little things that you may not have told anyone else.
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Communicate sincerely but skillfully. Most people like someone who speaks the truth and speaks the truth. Lying or hiding the truth is an act that makes you untrustworthy; so let’s be honest. However, you should still learn to improvise skillfully. [14] X Research Source
- For example, if the person asks you if you like a movie they like, say, “That movie isn’t my favorite genre, but I really like the main character’s personality. He’s funny, and I see why you like him!”, instead of saying “No, I hate that movie!”.
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Hold fast to your values and beliefs. How you stay true to your principles and beliefs is what sets you apart. These are the core of who you are; So it’s important to stay true to yourself, even if it makes some people turn their backs on you. [15] X Research Source
- You need courage to keep your faith. It is not easy for a person to resist bullying or refuse to participate in a malicious prank. Being true to yourself may make you unpopular with some, but you will attract people with similar values.
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Respect yourself. Having respect for yourself means that no matter what, you still love yourself. When you communicate with others, avoid comparing yourself to them or putting yourself down. [16] X Research Source
- Remind yourself of your strengths by listing them yourself. You can say “I am a good listener” or “I can make people laugh”.
- Respecting yourself also means that you don’t do anything that goes against your personal beliefs and values.
- Self-respect is a factor that helps you gain respect from others. When you don’t treat yourself well, it’s hard for others to genuinely treat you with respect.
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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 14,430 times.
Whether someone likes or dislikes you is not entirely within your control, but you can influence their thoughts in a positive way. Make others like you, whether it’s a new friend or someone you have a crush on, by smiling and bringing joy every time you’re with them. Also, another effective way is to get to know their concerns and encourage them to share more. No matter what, always be yourself. However, if they can’t like the real you, they’re not worth your effort!
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