How to Make Cats Get to Know and Love You

Bonding with cats can be difficult. Cats are independent animals and do not need frequent human interaction to feel satisfied. To strengthen your relationship with your cat, you also need to create a safe and positive living environment. You also have to teach your cat how to associate you with things they like, like food. Whether your cat is young or an adult, you can create a great relationship with your cat with effort and patience.

Table of Contents

Help a new cat get used to communication

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Get your cat into social contact as soon as possible. To build a lasting relationship with your cat, you need to make sure your cat feels comfortable around you. Socializing cats at an early age is very important for their relationships with humans later on.

Exposing the cat to people when the cat is 2 to 7 weeks old will create good conditions for later. ^{[1] X Trusted Source American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Go to source}
Socializing includes holding the cat and encouraging it to interact with people or other animals. These interactions need to be pleasant enough for the cat to feel like continuing to communicate in the future. ^{[2] X Trusted Source American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Go to source}
Consider enrolling your cat in communication classes. Your veterinarian can recommend a few places for you to consider. ^{[3] X Trusted Source American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Go to source}

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Be patient with adult cats. If your cat is an adult, don’t give up hope. You can still work this out. Positive interactions also take a while when you want to befriend a cat of any age.

Even 4-year-old feral cats (not cared for by humans) can learn to communicate. ^{[4] X Research Sources}
Communicating with an adult cat will require more time and patience. You will still perform the same steps as in this article. However, you should be prepared that the cat will take longer to accept you.

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Create a comfortable living environment for your cat. Cats won’t socialize if they don’t feel safe and comfortable. Create a quiet and threat-free environment when you bring home a new cat.

Start by placing the cat in a quiet room where it feels comfortable. Your bedroom is a good choice. Spend some time there to help your cat get used to your smell. ^{[5] X Research Source} Gradually allow the cat to explore other environments as the cat becomes more comfortable.
Provide your cat with pleasant and enjoyable places to lie down (and get into). A cat climbing plant would be great for cats who need some security and privacy.
Cats should always be provided with food, water, a sand bowl, and a nail sharpener. ^{[6] X Trusted Source The Humane Society of the United States Go to source}

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Keep enough distance. Do not hang around the cat or pounce on the cat all the time. By staying calm and keeping your distance, you’ll show your cat that you’re not dangerous and that she doesn’t need to be afraid of you.

This is especially important for adult cats who are not used to being around humans. The fact that you pay attention to these cats too much will do harm. You have to let them find you.
Sit and read a book or watch TV, ignoring the cat. Spread the food around the room and encourage the cat to come out to find food. ^{[7] X Research Source} Cats will follow food tracks and move closer to you. Sit still. Do not approach or talk to the cat first. Let them get used to being in the same room as you. Food will create a positive association with your presence.
Let the cat come close to you. Lure or throw toys to amuse yourself. Do not rush to pet the cat because you may scare the cat. At first, let your presence not appear dangerous, then start petting the cat, even just one stroke at a time. Don’t be impatient, or you’ll have to win your cat’s trust back from the start. ^{[8] X Research Sources}
Remember that it can take a while for your cat to know that you didn’t mean to harm them. For now, the cat still doesn’t know you. Show love with patience when your new cat comes home.

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Use a pheromone diffuser to calm a scared cat. They contain a pheromone that cats secrete when calm, so it helps a scared cat feel reassured and relaxed.

Pheromone diffusers are easy to use. You just need to plug them into an electrical outlet like other room fresheners. After that, check periodically to make sure the liquid is not drained.
You can find these devices at most pet stores or online stores.

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Gently pet the cat if it invites you. Cats are easily overexcited, and they will become fearful or defensive if you try to show affection without the cat’s permission. Make sure your cat will relate to you with a kind of gentleness and moderation instead of fear.

Gently pet the cat if it rubs against you. When cats rub themselves against you, it’s a friendly gesture. Strengthen the bond your cat is establishing with you by taking this opportunity to stroke.
Cats love to scratch their heads and necks. They also like to be stroked on the back where the tail meets the spine. ^{[9] X Research Source} However, strokes down the spine can get cats so excited that they want to scratch or bite you.
Giving your cat treats as soon as you’ve finished holding her will help her relate to physical contact in a positive way. ^{[10] X Research Source}

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Hold the cat when it feels relaxed. Keep petting the cat for as long as it enjoys, then pick it up and take it to a sunny spot, or feed it. By doing so, you will help the cat think that being held is a good thing.

Don’t try to cuddle the cat if it doesn’t want to. ^{[11] X Research Sources} This will break the trust you’re trying to build. This is especially important for adult cats.
There will be times when you have to pick up the cat when it doesn’t want to, for example when you need to put the cat in the cage. Do this as gently as possible, reassure the cat in a calm voice, pet it, or even give it a treat.

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Seek medical intervention when all else fails. Shy and fearful adult cats may need medication to help promote acclimatization. Talk to your vet if all of the above doesn’t work. ^{[12] X Research Source}

Many animal behavior specialists can help you in serious cases. Ask your veterinarian for a referral.

Build a positive relationship with cats

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Make sure you are the one feeding the cat. Once your cat gets used to your presence, you can begin to build a positive relationship. Food is a great motivator, and you should be the person your cat associates with food. This will help your cat associate your presence with positive things.

Feed your cat two to three small meals a day instead of having one large meal ready for the day. That will strengthen the connection between you and the food. If you already have dry cat food, you can still create small meals with wet food this way.
Stay in the room while the cat is eating to help strengthen the bond between you and the food. You can also pet your cat while it’s eating.
Feeding your cat high-quality food will also help her believe that you are the one bringing the best. Use treats to reinforce good behaviors, such as when your cat rubs your leg or shows you affection. ^{[13] X Research Source}

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Spaying for cats. Cats will be more attached to you if they are not dominated by the instinct to mate with other cats. ^{[14] X Research Source}

Spaying cats is also necessary to limit the number of cats. This is especially important if your cat is let loose. ^{[15] X Trusted Source The Humane Society of the United States Go to Source} If your cat has not been neutered, contact your local veterinarian or other humane community to schedule an appointment.

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Chat with cats. Talk to your cat often in a calm and non-threatening voice. ^{[16] X Research Source} Your tone of voice and gestures will give your cat a message. Do it so that the message sounds friendly.

Yelling at your cat (or any other animal) will make it afraid and distrust you. Even if the cat is naughty, try not to scold the cat. ^{[17] X Research Source}

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Play with cats. Once the cat feels comfortable enough to approach you, you can lure or tie the toy to the leash to lure the cat to play with. Cats don’t always want to play with you, so take every opportunity to become more attached to your cat.

Many cats love catnip. You can buy toys containing this herb to encourage your cat to play. ^{[18] X Research Sources}
Playing with cats is considered successful when the cat comes to ask you to play. For example, cats may rub or climb on you. Even though you can lure your cat to play with lighted or dangling toys, she can still ignore you if she doesn’t feel like playing.

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Keep the cat and the litter box clean. Cats will be pleased with a clean coat and habitat. Regularly clean the litter box for the cat so that the cat does not have to use the litter box too dirty. A dirty litter box will make the cat uncomfortable and unhappy, and the cat will react badly to it. ^{[19] X Research Source}

While your cat may spend a lot of time grooming, you can still brush your cat’s coat to help you become more bonded. Use a special brush for cats. Some cats won’t let you touch them, but others will love it when you do. This can also reduce the amount of cat hair shedding in your home, especially if you have a long-haired cat. ^{[20] X Research Source}

Advice

Please be patient. There are some cats that are very shy and need more time to get used to humans. However, if you put in the effort, your relationship with your cat can be well worth the time and effort.
Kittens can accept and love you quickly, but adult cats, especially stray or feral cats, may take longer to develop feelings for you. Even then, the cat will not be able to be as obedient as the cat you raised since childhood. If you have an adult cat, be prepared to live with the cat’s closed and erratic attitude for a long time. You have to be extremely patient with such cats. ^{[22] X Research Source}

Steps

Help a new cat get used to communication

Build a positive relationship with cats

Advice

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