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This article was co-written by John Keegan. John Keegan is a New York-based marriage and love expert and motivational speaker. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his knowledge of marriage and love, attraction and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and gives seminars on marriage and love internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York and Men’s Health.
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 306,670 times.
Getting a girl to like you can be difficult, but there are ways to get her attention. Taking care of your appearance and expressing your personality can draw her attention to you, giving you a chance to get to know each other. Once you get to know her, being her good friend will help you both get to know each other better and gradually develop feelings. After becoming friends, confessing your feelings for her is the way to turn friendship into love!
Steps
Get her attention
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Maintain personal hygiene. A clean and decent appearance will help you score points in the eyes of the girl that you are “in love with”. Shower every day and use shower gel or shampoo to keep your body odor-free. Remember to brush your teeth, use mouthwash to freshen your breath, and keep your appearance neat so you’re always eye-catching. [1] X Research Source
- Wash your face once or twice daily to prevent breakouts.
- Personal hygiene also includes wearing clean, scented clothes so as not to appear disheveled or sloppy.
- Don’t use too many body sprays or perfumes as the scent can become overpowering.
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Find and pursue a hobby. Taking the time to develop a personal interest can make you more interesting in your partner’s eyes. Find activities that interest you, such as playing sports, playing board games, listening to music or drawing; That way, you’ll know what you like to do in your spare time. Trying new things will make you special and make her want to know more about you. [2] X Research Source
- If you are still in school, join clubs with your peers so you have the opportunity to meet and share interests with them.
- Don’t pursue a hobby you’re not interested in just because your partner is interested in it. Choose what you really like.
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Show a confident demeanor to get her attention. Avoid comparing yourself to others as it lowers your confidence. Find out what you are good at and what you love about yourself so you can be comfortable with yourself. Improve your confidence level by doing activities that make you uncomfortable, such as chatting with strangers or pursuing another hobby you’ve long wanted. As your confidence grows, she’ll probably notice you and want to talk to you. [3] X Research Sources
- Standing up straight and making eye contact helps you become more confident when interacting with others.
Advice: It’s okay if you don’t do something well. Failure is inevitable, overcome this obstacle so that you can be confident about other things.
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Be polite and courteous to others so that she understands your behavior better. Don’t be rude to those around you; instead, always respect them so you don’t come across as selfish. Focus on listening when the other person has to say and exchange meaningful things so that they feel you care. Always say “please” and “thank you” when you ask someone to show her that you are polite and considerate. [4] X Research Sources
- Stay polite and kind even when she’s not around because that’s who you really are.
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Smile when you see her to look more approachable. Every time you meet her and her eyes, smile gently to let her know that you are a friendly person. She’ll feel more comfortable when you smile because you look so approachable and kind. If she responds with a smile, she’s probably also interested in you and wants to learn more about you. [5] X Research Sources
- However, do not stare or she will feel uncomfortable.
- If she’s not smiling, it could be a sign that she’s not keeping an eye on you.
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Take the initiative to get to know her when you feel comfortable. If you’ve seen each other smile and you’re feeling confident, it’s time to go ahead and strike up a conversation with her. Introduce your name, ask her name, and say a few words of courtesy. Next, you can mention something in common between the two of you or a nearby event so that the two of you can talk about a common topic. Don’t forget to look her in the eye and smile during your conversation so you look friendly and approachable. If she wants to know more about you, she’ll be excited to chat or give you her phone number. [6] X Research Sources
- For example, you could say, “Hi, I’m Minh. How are you doing today?”
- If you’re still at school and feeling nervous, pick a time when you can talk to her in the hallway or schoolyard, or ask her to join a project if you’re in the same class.
- If she’s not in the mood to talk, you can say “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you” and leave. Don’t continue to talk or pursue her as you may make her uncomfortable.
Become her friend
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Talk about what you both have in common. When you first get to know her, you should ask questions about her interests so that you can both get to know each other better. Common topics that both of you are interested in will help keep you and her interested in the conversation. Avoid interrupting when she’s talking to let her know you’re polite and interested in what she shares. [7] X Research Sources
- For example, you could talk about your job, your favorite genre of movie or music, and your hobbies.
- If you are still in school, you can talk about subjects you both love, school events, or clubs you join.
- Avoid talking too much about yourself or bragging, as that makes you the person who sees yourself as the “navel of the universe” and doesn’t care about her. [8] X Research Sources
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Ask questions to help you learn more about her. You can get to know her by asking questions about her interests. Continue to make eye contact and listen attentively to show that you really care about what she has to say. If the conversation goes well, you can ask questions about her personal life to better understand her goals and what she wants in the future. [9] X Research Source
- Answering her questions openly and honestly will also help her get to know you better.
- Don’t ask personal questions when she seems uncomfortable in the conversation.
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Show your sense of humor through jokes and cheerful demeanor. Add humor to the conversation to create a relaxed and joyful atmosphere. You can tell funny stories about yourself or make a funny comment about something either of you mentioned earlier. If you can make her laugh, it’s a sign that she likes you or appreciates your presence. [10] X Research Source
- For example, if the two of you are talking about pets, you can tell a funny story about your pet as you get to know her better.
- Don’t just tell jokes or try to be funny or she’ll think you’re not serious.
Tip: Watch her eyes when she smiles to see which way she’s looking. If she looks at you while smiling, she probably has her eye on you.
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Be there when she needs to confide in someone. If you’ve talked to her for a while, you can tell when she’s in a bad mood. Ask her how she’s doing and ask what you can do to help her. Listen when she needs to vent and give advice only when she asks. Show your sincerity by caring and wanting her to be happy. As you take the time to listen and talk to her, she will notice your interest and gradually notice you more. [11] X Research Source
- For example, you could say, “You seem unhappy. Do you want to talk to me?”
- If she doesn’t want to confide in or is uncomfortable, let her know that you’re always available to hear what she has to say and give her space instead of trying to go overboard.
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Stay in touch by texting when you’re not together. You can start a text conversation by asking how she’s doing or what she’s been up to over the weekend to bridge the gap. Ask questions and show humor as you would when you two talked when you met. Pay attention to the length of your texts and the number of times she texts you because long texts sent frequently are a sign that she’s starting to like you. [12] X Research Source
- Send her a good morning and good night text to let her know you’re thinking of her.
- Don’t send too many messages in a row without getting a reply because it makes you look desperate.
- If she doesn’t reply to your texts, she’s probably not comfortable talking to you.
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Sharing secrets with each other is a way of saying that you trust her. If she feels comfortable around you, she won’t be afraid to open up and tell you her secrets. Listen attentively and don’t tell her secret to others or you will lose her trust. If she’s talking about something personal, you should do the same to show her trust. Sharing secrets with each other is one way to nurture the relationship and make her like you more. [13] X Research Source
- For example, you would talk about an embarrassing experience you’ve had if she told you about a similar experience.
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Spend time with her and her friends to become closer to them. If you’re comfortable with each other, she’ll probably introduce you to her friends. Once there, be respectful and polite to her friends and always be yourself so they can learn more about you. If you’re nice to her friends and they like you, she’ll like you more. [14] X Research Source
- Find activities or events that the whole group can participate in, such as bowling, dining, or going to a concert.
- Don’t try to force yourself to get to know her friends if she’s not interested in you as it can make her uncomfortable. Only hang out with them when you’re invited.
Confess love
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Test her reaction by flirting . Once you’re comfortable with her and have developed a friendship, try actively flirting to see if she has feelings for you. You will stand or sit closer to her when you talk; Don’t forget to look her in the eye and smile. Tease her playfully or make her laugh so that the two of you grow closer. When you flirt, she may mimic your actions and move closer to show her interest. [15] X Research Source
- Do not joke too much or you will become insensitive.
- If she doesn’t react to your flirting or she doesn’t flirt with you, she’s probably not interested in a relationship.
- You can also flirt with her through text messages when you haven’t had a chance to meet. If you’re flirting with text messages, be sure to flirt with her in person to avoid confusion.
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Show your care by complimenting her. Let her know what you like about her looks and personality as a way to show her interest. Talk about what you admire about her, like her attitude or how she takes care of herself to make her feel good when she’s with you. Don’t forget to give her sincere compliments so that she can feel the sincerity of your words. [16] X Research Source
- For example, you could say “Your hair is beautiful” or “I really like your dress. Is that a new dress?”
- If you want to compliment her personality, say, “I really like your sense of humor” or “You’re the bravest person I know, and I love it.”
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Touch her if it doesn’t make her uncomfortable. You can start to move closer to her during a conversation or sit closer. Try to guess if she enjoys the touch by naturally touching her arm or asking if she wants a hug. Don’t touch her rudely and respectfully when she doesn’t accept your actions. If she’s comfortable around you and wants to go further, she’ll probably want to touch you. [17] X Research Source
- If you don’t know if she’s interested in touch, respect her by asking first.
Warning: Don’t touch a girl if she doesn’t want to. Respect her space and boundaries when she’s uncomfortable.
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Confess to let her know how you feel. If the two of you have grown closer and you want to know what she thinks, just open up and confess your feelings. Honestly speak your mind. When confessing to a girl, you also need to ask how she feels to know how much she cares. This is when you focus on listening and respecting her decision. [18] X Research Sources
- For example, you could say, “I enjoyed spending time with you and getting to know you. You’re funny, smart, energetic, and I’ve started to have special feelings for you.”
- Don’t rush to ask if she likes you. Take the time to develop a friendship first so that the two of you are comfortable around each other.
- If she can’t reciprocate your feelings, that’s okay because you can still offer to maintain the friendship. Rejection is inevitable in life, so learning how to deal with it will help you feel more confident.
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Plan a date if you both have feelings for each other. If she likes you too, be prepared to go on a date so you can spend more time together. You can choose fun events with both of you, try out special restaurants, or watch movies you both like. Take the time to get to know her on a deeper level. Flirt and compliment her on a date to show that you’re serious about the relationship. [19] X Research Source
- If she doesn’t want to date, just say it’s okay and don’t get mad. Respect her decision and don’t pursue it if she doesn’t want you to.
Advice
- Always respect the girl you’re after so she feels comfortable around you.
Warning
- If she doesn’t have feelings for you, respect her decision and stay polite. Don’t get angry or clingy if she doesn’t want to spend time with you.
- Don’t touch a girl when she’s uncomfortable with it. Also, you should not touch her rudely and respect her decision.
- Don’t try to go after a girl who already has a boyfriend.
X
This article was co-written by John Keegan. John Keegan is a New York-based marriage and love expert and motivational speaker. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his knowledge of marriage and love, attraction and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and gives seminars on marriage and love internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York and Men’s Health.
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 306,670 times.
Getting a girl to like you can be difficult, but there are ways to get her attention. Taking care of your appearance and expressing your personality can draw her attention to you, giving you a chance to get to know each other. Once you get to know her, being her good friend will help you both get to know each other better and gradually develop feelings. After becoming friends, confessing your feelings for her is the way to turn friendship into love!
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