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This article was co-written by Sandra Possing. Sandra Possing is a life coach, speaker, and entrepreneur based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Sandra specializes in one-on-one coaching with a focus on transforming mindsets and leadership. Sandra is coach trained from the Coach Training Institute and has seven years of life coaching experience. She holds a bachelor’s degree in anthropology from the University of California, Los Angeles.
There are 44 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 20,738 times.
Is your cup half full or half empty? The way you answer the question can reflect your outlook on life, your attitude toward yourself, and determine whether you’re an optimist or a pessimist – it can even affect your health. [1] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go To Source[2] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go To Source Everyone has ups and downs in life, but it’s been found that an optimistic outlook can significantly positive effect on a person’s quality of life and physical and mental well-being. Optimism is also considered a key factor in stress management. [3] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Going to the source Optimism doesn’t mean ignoring life’s challenges or difficulties, but changing the way you approach them. If you are a pessimist about the world, it can be difficult to reorient your outlook, but you can still accentuate the positive things in your life with a little patience and attention.
Steps
Learn to cherish emotions
- Over time, negative feelings can become a conditioned habit. Don’t blame yourself for negative feelings and associations. Reprimands don’t help because it doesn’t look in your direction of growth; it looks back and at what happened. [8] X Research Sources
- Instead, focus on noticing when negative emotions arise. A diary can help you do this. Record times when you have had a negative feeling or thought, then examine its context and explore alternative ways of responding to the situation. [9] X Research Source
- For example, imagine that someone cuts your car in front of you on the road. You react by getting angry, honking your horn and perhaps shouting at the other person even though they can’t hear you. You can write in your diary what happened and your immediate reaction. Don’t judge yourself as “right” or “wrong”, just record what happened. [10] X Research Source
- Then look back and think about what you wrote. Does your response align with your values and the type of person you want to be? If not, what else could you have done? What do you think you’re really reacting to at that moment? Maybe you’re not really angry with the driver; Perhaps you just had a stressful day and allowed yourself to take your anger out on someone.
- Look forward as you write these. Don’t use it as a place to wallow in negative feelings. Think about what you can learn from that experience. What can you learn to become more mature? Can that experience be used as an experience for other times? If you were in a similar situation next time, how would you react in line with your values? Perhaps realizing that you reacted angrily just because you had a bad day will help you understand that everyone makes mistakes at times, and it will also make you more empathetic the next time someone gets angry. with you. Having an idea of how you want to react in negative situations can help you during difficult times. [11] X Research Source
- Mindfulness meditation has been shown by many studies to help cope with anxiety and depression. [15] X Research Source It can really reprogram the way your body responds to stress.
- Find mindfulness meditation classes in your community. You can also search online for guided meditation classes, such as the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center [16] X Research Resources or BuddhaNet [17] X Research Resources . (And of course there are many great tutorials on Wikihow.)
- You don’t have to spend a lot of time practicing meditation to see its effects. Just a few minutes a day can help you become more understanding and accepting of your feelings. [18] X Research Sources
- Exaggerate the negatives of the situation and ignore all the positives.
- Unconsciously blaming yourself for any negative situation or event.
- Expect the worst in any situation. For example, when the “no need to park” coffee shop mistakes the drink you ordered, and so you automatically think that the whole day will be your disaster day. [20] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
- You see things as either good or bad (also called polarization). In your eyes there is no space in between.
- Increased longevity
- Reduce the likelihood of depression
- Reduce the level of grief
- Improve the immune system
- Stronger physically and mentally
- Reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
- Have better coping skills during tough times and times of pressure.
- Deciding to go skydiving without even learning or finding information about it because “everything is fine” is an example of blind (and dangerous!) optimism. It’s unrealistic, and doesn’t realize that you have to work to overcome obstacles. Such a decision could put you in jeopardy.
- A true optimist will learn about skydiving and recognize that it is a complex sport that requires careful training and care. Instead of getting discouraged by the amount of work to be done, optimists will set a goal (“learn to skydive”) and then work toward that goal with confidence that they will.
- “Nothing is impossible”.
- “The circumstances do not make me, but I create my situation.”
- “The only thing I can control is my attitude towards life.”
- “I always have a choice.”
- Showing gratitude in your daily life can be a great way to break free from the habit of negative comparisons. Write a thank you letter to the people in your life or speak to them directly. Focusing on these positive elements in your life can dramatically improve your mood and sense of well-being. [25] X Research Sources
- Consider keeping a gratitude journal. Research has shown that people who write a few lines a week about recent events that make them feel grateful are more optimistic and have a greater sense of life satisfaction in general. [26] X Research Sources
- See yourself as the cause, not the effect. Optimists often believe that they can overcome any negative event or situation with their own efforts and abilities. [28] X Research Sources
- Start small. Don’t think you have to do everything at once.
- Positive thinking can lead to positive results. One study found that teaching basketball players to think that positive outcomes – such as getting a free throw – were due to their ability and negative results to a lack of effort improved performance. their later significantly. [29] X Research Sources
- In one study, subjects who were asked to hold a pen in their mouth (which made their facial muscle movements look like they were smiling) thought the cartoon was funnier than others felt. Little did they know that it was just the smile that prompted their response. Consciously changing your facial muscles to reflect a positive emotion sends a similar signal to your brain and elevates your mood. [31] X Research Source
Promoting the source leads to optimism
- Strive to change the world for the better in concrete ways, one step at a time, perhaps in the form of participating in a social justice movement or a political cause that you consider important to you. .
- However, you should remember that there is a wealth of cultures in the world, and yours is just one of them. Do not hold the stereotype that your culture or your way of doing things is superior or unique. Respect the diversity of the world, try to help others according to their condition, and you will see beauty and positivity in many things. [32] X Research Sources Hpland, D. (2001). Identity and Agency in Cultural Worlds. Harvard University Press.
- On a smaller scale, even just rearranging specific items like furniture can help break down old and useless patterns and behaviors, allowing you to create something new. . There are many studies that show that breaking a habit is easier if you change old habits, because that activates new areas of the brain. [33] X Research Sources Duhigg, C. (2014). The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business (Reprint edition). New York: Random House Trade Paperbacks.[34] X Research Sources
- This goes hand in hand with learning to accept and experience a wide range of emotions, because you can’t experiment with something you’ve never had to face. Instead of trying to analyze your feelings in unnecessary detail as you live with old habits day after day, experiment with each interaction and try to find ways to improve the environment you share with others. .
- Build goals and expectations for the future from specific interactions with people and the environment. That way you can avoid wishful thinking for yourself and for others. [35] X Research Sources Bennardo, G. (2009). Language, Space, and Social Relationships: A Foundational Cultural Model in Ppynesia. Cambridge University Press.
- Start by focusing on a positive event in your life, such as an achievement, a trip, or anything else that means something to you.
- Remember an event, and think about the circumstances that allowed that event to happen.
- Thinking about things could have turned the other way in those circumstances. For example, back then you might not have learned the language for which you took this trip, or that day you might not have read the newspaper that advertised the job opening that you now enjoy.
- Write down all the events and decisions that might have gone in the wrong direction that prevented that good event from happening.
- Imagine what your life would be like if that event hadn’t happened. Imagine what you would miss if you didn’t have all the other good things to follow.
- Recall that the event actually happened. Meditate on the positive things it brings to your life. Let’s say that things that don’t have to happen have brought you this joyful experience. [38] X Trusted Source Greater Good in Action Go to Source
- Start by listing five things that make you feel that your current life is good in some way. [40] X Trusted Source Greater Good in Action Go to Source
- Then you think about a time when something unexpected happened that made you sad or frustrated. Make a brief note of the situation.
- Figure out three things about the situation that can help you see “good luck in bad luck”.
- For example, unfortunately your car has a problem that causes you to be late for work because you have to take the bus. This is not a pleasant situation, but you can think about the following bright spots:
- You met new people on the bus that you wouldn’t normally interact with.
- You caught the bus, not the more expensive taxi.
- Your car is still repairable.
- Make sure to find at least 3 positive things, no matter how small. This will help you become adept at changing the way you interpret and react to situations.
- Participate in a physical activity at least three times a week. Being physically active doesn’t have to be in the gym. You can walk your dog, use the stairs at work instead of taking the elevator. Any kind of physical activity can help improve your mood.
- Limit mood-altering substances such as stimulants and alcohol. Studies have shown a strong link between pessimism and substance and/or alcohol abuse. [43] X Research Source
- Make sure the influencers in your life are positive and supportive. Not everyone you meet in life has the same mindset and expectations as you do, and that’s completely normal. However, if you discover someone’s attitudes and behaviors have a negative impact on yours, consider leaving that person. Human emotions are “contagious” and we are often affected by the emotions and attitudes of those around us. [45] X Research Source Negative people can increase stress levels and make you question your ability to manage stress in a healthy way. [46] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
- Don’t be afraid to experiment with relationships. You never know how precious a person can be in life, no matter how different they are from you. Think of it as a form of interpersonal attraction. It is important to find a harmonious mix of people to foster an optimistic view of the future. [47] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
- Mood change doesn’t mean personality change. Being an optimist doesn’t mean being an extrovert. You don’t have to be an extrovert to be optimistic. In fact, trying to be someone else can leave you feeling empty and sad instead of optimistic.
- Volunteering is considered a natural way to boost self-confidence and self-esteem, which can help you combat feelings of pessimism and helplessness.
- Giving and serving others can also make you feel good about your contribution to the world. This is especially true if you are present in person rather than anonymously or contributing online. [50] X Research Source
- Volunteering can help you make new friends and make new contacts, and being in the midst of an active community can boost optimism. [51] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source
- Smiling at strangers is a cultural behavior. For example, American culture often considers smiling as friendly, but Russian culture views it with suspicion. [52] X Source You’re welcome to smile at people in public, but understand that they may have different habits than you, and don’t get upset if they don’t reciprocate the gesture (or even seem confused). [53] X Research Sources
Advice
- Everyone is weak at times. Sometimes you can stumble and fall back into bad habits, but remember the positive feelings that have passed and remind yourself that positive feelings are still within reach. Don’t forget that you are not alone. Reach out for support and regain a positive mindset.
- Look in the mirror and smile. According to facial recognition theory, this can help you maintain happiness and positive thinking.
- Be concerned with the positives and negatives, or the pros and cons of a situation. But focus on the positives.
- If you’re trying to be optimistic about a certain event – like a college offer letter, try to focus on that outcome. What if you don’t get positive results? Maybe you’ll be offered a place at another school that’s even better in the long run, or you’ll learn something.
Warning
- Don’t confuse pessimism with depression. Depression can be a serious illness and in this case you should seek professional advice if you think you have signs of this illness.
This article was co-written by Sandra Possing. Sandra Possing is a life coach, speaker, and entrepreneur based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Sandra specializes in one-on-one coaching with a focus on transforming mindsets and leadership. Sandra is coach trained from the Coach Training Institute and has seven years of life coaching experience. She holds a bachelor’s degree in anthropology from the University of California, Los Angeles.
There are 44 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 20,738 times.
Is your cup half full or half empty? The way you answer the question can reflect your outlook on life, your attitude toward yourself, and determine whether you’re an optimist or a pessimist – it can even affect your health. [1] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go To Source[2] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go To Source Everyone has ups and downs in life, but it’s been found that an optimistic outlook can significantly positive effect on a person’s quality of life and physical and mental well-being. Optimism is also considered a key factor in stress management. [3] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Going to the source Optimism doesn’t mean ignoring life’s challenges or difficulties, but changing the way you approach them. If you are a pessimist about the world, it can be difficult to reorient your outlook, but you can still accentuate the positive things in your life with a little patience and attention.
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