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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 21 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 4,360 times.
Perhaps you’ve been dating someone for a while, or you’ve just started dating that person. Either way, your partner wants to have sex with you, but right now, you don’t want to go this far. You also don’t want to make your partner sad or feel rejected. A few things can help you let them know that you’re not ready, and getting some facts in advance will make this process easier.
Steps
Decided to wait
- Respect your own needs and ask the other person to respect it as well.
- Having sex is a decision that both of you need to make together. [2] X Research Source
- Some tips for combating peer pressure include spending time with like-minded friends when it comes to sex, and always remembering to have a backup plan in case you find yourself in trouble. You feel the pressure. [3] X Research Sources
Prepare for the conversation
- Avoid pregnancy. [6] X Research Source
- For religious reasons. [7] X Research Sources
- Go against personal beliefs. [8] X Research Sources
- Ensure legitimacy. [9] X Research Source
- Prevention of STIs (sexually transmitted infections). [10] X Research Source
- Need more emotional connection. [11] X Research Source
- Want to have a close relationship. [12] X Research Source
- Make sure you’re both pursuing a monogamous relationship. [13] X Research Source
- Know that neither of you has an STI. [14] X Research Source
- Need to build trust and certainty. [15] X Research Source
- Feeling that this is not the right time for you. [16] X Research Source
- I don’t want to have sex with other people. [17] X Research Source
- If he says “If I love you, I’ll do this”. A good response to this statement would be “If I loved you, I wouldn’t want you to do something you’re not ready to do”.
- If he says “Everyone does it,” respond with “I’m part of that special someone, and I don’t want to have sex.”
- Learn common phrases people use to try to convince their partner to have a relationship. [18] X Research Sources You should have your answers ready to refute them. [19] X Research Source
Let him know you’re not ready
- If you’re together but aren’t physically close, you can say, “I love being with you. You see, we don’t have to have sex to make our time together become a good thing. so special. I’m not ready for sex, and I like it to stay the way it is.”
- If you’re talking on the phone, you could say, “I don’t want to have sex right now. I’m not ready. I don’t have to have sex with you to show that I care about you. Sex is not the best. Necessary means denying any other close contact. There are still ways to show you care.” [20] X Research Source
- Let your loved one know what you want and don’t want. This method will help them know how close you want to be.
- While you’ll have plenty of reasons why you don’t want to have sex, like fear of getting pregnant or not wanting to betray your moral and/or religious beliefs, don’t underestimate the statement “I’m not ready yet.” ready”.
- If the person responds positively and respects what you want and don’t want, this is a good sign. You are well on your way to building a healthy relationship with that person.
- On the other hand, if he’s disrespectful, tries to manipulate you, or if he’s constantly pressuring you to have sex, this is a sign that he’s interested in meeting your needs. rather than engaging in a healthy, balanced relationship.
- You need to learn more about what you should look for in your crush. [23] X Research Sources
- At the same time, you also need to know the definition of a healthy relationship. [24] X Research Source
- Only meet him in public.
- Make sure you are not being tracked.
- Ask a friend or relative you trust for help.
- Have a safety plan. [25] X Research Sources
Maintain safety and happiness in romantic relationships
- There are so many other people in the world that respect your needs and boundaries with whom you can form intimate relationships. These are relationships that deserve to be nurtured. [28] X Research Sources
Advice
- This measure also applies to men, not just women. Women also have the ability to force a man to have sex when he is not ready. Don’t hesitate to stand up for yourself.
Warning
- Trust your intuition. If you feel scared or uncomfortable with someone, you should stay away from them and find ways to keep yourself safe.
- Doesn’t mean no. If the other person doesn’t understand this, stay away from them.
- It’s important to understand that coercion is when someone forces you to have sex whether you’re in a close relationship or just dating for the first time. If you have been raped, you need to go to the emergency room right away to get care. You can also phone 113 or another sexual assault support service in your area. [30] X Trusted Source Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network Go to source
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 21 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 4,360 times.
Perhaps you’ve been dating someone for a while, or you’ve just started dating that person. Either way, your partner wants to have sex with you, but right now, you don’t want to go this far. You also don’t want to make your partner sad or feel rejected. A few things can help you let them know that you’re not ready, and getting some facts in advance will make this process easier.
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