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This article was co-written by Jan & Jillian Yuhas. Jan Yuhas and Jillian Yuhas are dating coaches, consultants, and founders of Entwined Lifestyle. They specialize in helping individuals and couples improve communication skills, build boundaries, and lead a healthy lifestyle. They have been featured on media channels such as Yahoo Lifestyle and Bustle. Jan and Jillian both have bachelor’s degrees in psychology from the University of Illinois at Chicago, and master’s degrees in marriage and family therapy from the Adler School of Psychology.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 312,786 times.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether you really like a person or just enjoy the feeling of being with that person. Determining your feelings for someone requires you to be honest with yourself, but it’s the first step on your journey to finding your other half!
Steps
Know the signs that you have a crush on someone
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Think about how happy you feel after your date. One of the best ways to tell if you like someone is to spend time alone together. If the conversation flows naturally and smoothly, the person makes you laugh, and leaves you feeling light-headed, then that’s a pretty clear sign that you’re in love with that person. [1] X Research Source
- If you don’t feel comfortable around someone, or they seem distant during your date, there’s probably no connection between the two of you.
- You don’t have to worry about ending up with that person after a date that doesn’t leave you feeling happy. In the long run, that way you’re not wasting both parties’ time and effort.
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Notice if you get excited when your partner calls or texts you. If you jump to your phone when you get a text from your partner and never let their call go to voicemail, it’s a sign that you really like that person. No matter how busy you are, you want to send a text just to let your crush know that you’re thinking about them! [2] X Research Source
- If someone texts you and you don’t usually respond or have nothing to say, you may just see them as friends.
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Be aware every time you see things that remind you of that person. If everywhere you look you see things that make you think of them, then you are probably captivated. Notice how many times a day you tell your partner things that you think they will like, and how many times you tell friends and family interesting stories or facts related to your loved one. that. [3] X Research Sources
- If you don’t really think about that person all day, it’s possible that you’re just around them when you’re feeling lonely.
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Spend time with other people to see if you miss them. When going out with friends or being with family, you will have a good time among your loved ones. If you find yourself secretly wishing that your partner was there, or just want to constantly text them to tell them about everything that happened during the day, then you really like that person. [4] X Research Sources
- If you don’t miss that person when you’re around other people, ask why. Maybe you’re just too busy to think about them, or maybe you care about your partner just because you don’t like being alone. Try to be honest with yourself about how you feel.
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Notice that when you receive news, good or bad, the first person you want to notify is that person. The presence of the other person to celebrate the good news with you and face difficult situations together is an integral part of a romantic relationship. If something important happens in your life, pay attention to who you call or text first. If that’s the person, then you probably trust and like them a lot. [5] X Research Sources
- Parents and best friends are probably the exceptions you talk about first. However, that person should be one of the first people you contact when something happens to you.
Check the compatibility between two people
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Think about whether the two of you share the same values, interests, and aspirations. Many times there are issues that keep people from dating, such as different conceptions of marriage, personal preferences, and more. The questions you ask your date about your morals, interests, and plans for the future will reveal whether the two of you are a match, and also provide clues to possible problems. [6] X Research Sources
- For example, you could ask the person, “What do you think is the most valuable thing about friendship?” or “What do you think should not be made fun of?”
- If you feel you can go further, ask, “What do you look for in a relationship?” or, “What do you think an ideal lover would be like?”
- Don’t forget that such little things are sometimes very important. You might ask, “What do you like to do on the weekends?” or “Do you prefer camping in the mountains or going to the beach?” to see if the two of you are compatible in general interests.
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Touch your partner’s arm or hand to gauge your level of physical attraction. It’s hard to stay in a loving relationship with someone who doesn’t make you sexually attractive. The gentle touch of your partner’s arm or hand will tell you if they’re comfortable around you, and how you feel around them. If you have absolutely no desire to touch your partner, perhaps you are just meant to be friends. [7] X Research Sources
- If your partner seems uncomfortable when you touch them, it’s a sign that they’re not ready for a relationship.
- Listen to hunches and intuitions about physical attraction. If you don’t feel the urge to touch your partner or sit near them, then you’re probably not really moving.
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Think about whether you’re drawn to the person’s personality and value their opinion. There is no shortage of physically attractive people in the world, but someone who is both sexually attractive and has an opinion that matters to you is truly special. If the first thing that comes to your mind is their kindness or intelligence, then that’s a great sign that you like that person for who they are. [8] X Research Sources
- It’s completely possible to look for someone with sex appeal, as long as you’re also interested in their personality and mindset. If the only thing that pops into your mind when you think of that person is their body, then perhaps your feeling is just lust, and this feeling will fade after a while.
Consider deeper sensations
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Share how you feel with someone you trust. Take time to talk to a close friend or family member about what’s going on. Sometimes friends and family will help you see more clearly, because they are outsiders. Tell them how you feel when you’re with the other person and ask them what they think. [9] X Research Source
- It is best to choose a friend who does not know the other person to avoid any noise or secret that can happen.
- Try not to get mad at your friend if they say something you don’t want to hear.
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Ask yourself if you are afraid of being alone. Many people can’t stand the feeling of being alone, even for a short time. If you don’t like being alone and are looking for someone to keep you company, then your feelings are probably not real. If you’ve just moved to a new city and don’t have any friends there, chances are you’re just looking for someone to be friends with. [10] X Research Source
- If you want to overcome this feeling, you can learn to enjoy your time alone. Sometimes this is the best way for you to know if you like someone or not, because it shows you how it feels to be without that person around.
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See if you’re jealous. In many cases, jealousy is a surefire expression of whether or not you care about someone. Feeling jealous can be very uncomfortable and painful. If you get upset or angry when you see your partner hanging out with someone they seem to have feelings for, chances are you really like them. [11] X Research Source
- Jealousy is good sometimes, but it can quickly turn into a way for people to control each other. Try not to get too angry when the person you like is around other people, maybe they’re thinking about you!
- If you’ve had trouble with jealousy in the past, or you feel like your anger is getting out of control, consider learning how to control your jealousy before entering a relationship.
Advice
- Always be yourself and be honest with the person you like. You need to make sure they know the real you instead of the person you’re trying to portray.
- Try to keep things natural and light at the beginning of the relationship to make sure no one gets hurt. You should take the time to get to know the person before making a binding promise.
- Let her know how much you like her. They may like you but don’t have the courage to say it.
Warning
- Don’t end your friendship if you decide not to date the person. You can distance yourself from them, but act like you still want to be friends.
- If you are doubting your feelings for your partner, try to respect their feelings and don’t lie to them with promises.
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This article was co-written by Jan & Jillian Yuhas. Jan Yuhas and Jillian Yuhas are dating coaches, consultants, and founders of Entwined Lifestyle. They specialize in helping individuals and couples improve communication skills, build boundaries, and lead a healthy lifestyle. They have been featured on media channels such as Yahoo Lifestyle and Bustle. Jan and Jillian both have bachelor’s degrees in psychology from the University of Illinois at Chicago, and master’s degrees in marriage and family therapy from the Adler School of Psychology.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 312,786 times.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether you really like a person or just enjoy the feeling of being with that person. Determining your feelings for someone requires you to be honest with yourself, but it’s the first step on your journey to finding your other half!
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