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This article was co-written by Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC. Dr. Tara Vossenkemper is a licensed professional counselor and founder and chief executive officer of The Counseling Hub, LLC – group counseling service in Cpumbia, Missouri. She is also the founder and business consultant of Tara Vossenkemper Consulting, LLC – a consulting service for therapy owners. With over nine years of experience, she specializes in using the Gottman Method in relationship therapy for couples on the verge of divorce because of conflict or disconnection. Vossenkemper holds a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from the University of Missouri, Saint Louis, a master’s degree in Counseling from Missouri Baptist University, and a PhD in psychology with a major in Educational Supervision and Counseling from the university. Missouri, Saint Louis. She also completed Level 3 training of the Gottman Method in couples therapy and received training in pre-marital couple counseling and PREP methods in couples counseling.
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There are many different types of love, but there’s no way to know if you’re really in love – or if it’s just the stinging sensation of momentary madness. However, if you pay attention to your feelings and actions when you’re around that special someone, you’ll be able to see if you really have a crush on that person. If you want to know how to do that, follow these steps.
Steps
Notice What You Think
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See if you can imagine a future without someone you love. If you are really in love, you will have no problem thinking about the future of the two of you. Night and day, alone or with friends, the truth is that you can’t stop thinking about that person – this is a sign that you’re in love, and may have found “the one”. Whether it’s moving to a new city, having a baby, going abroad for a year, or pursuing your future goals, you can always imagine doing those things with your other half, and that person is always by your side. Friend. If you can’t imagine living your whole life without the other person – not just next summer, next year or whenever – then chances are you’re truly in love. Here are a few other signs that you’re really in love:
- When you can’t think about starting a new chapter in your life without your loved one by your side, whether it’s a new job or moving to a new place.
- When you think about having a baby but can’t imagine the baby’s parent being anyone other than him/her.
- When you can’t imagine growing old without that person by your side.
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See if you can stop thinking about that person for a few hours. When you love someone, you don’t have to be too obsessive about that person; Actually, the opposite is the other way around. If you’re in a healthy love relationship, you’ll be able to leave your partner without obsessing over thinking every five seconds about what he or she is doing right now. However, if you can forget about your lover for a whole week or a month, then you probably like them very much but have not yet reached the love stage. Here are a few other signs that you’re really in love:
- When reading a book or watching a movie without a lover, you might wonder what the other person would think about it.
- When you try on new clothes without that special someone, you might think about whether people will like the way you look.
- If you call or text that person just because you want to say hello or hear their voice, you’re probably already in love.
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See if you really value his point of view. If you are really in love, you will not think of your lover as a perfect object to be worshipped, but as a very ordinary person with interesting perspectives and unique ideas. If you are really in love, you will value and care about the other person’s views and thoughts on issues such as the next direction in your career or the political situation in your country. While you don’t have to be absolutely concerned about everything your partner is thinking, if you don’t truly appreciate his thoughts, you probably aren’t in love yet. Here are the signs that you’ve really found the right person:
- When you are about to make an important decision, if you consider the other person’s opinion, then your feelings for the other person are serious enough to be called love.
- When in a difficult social situation, if you value the other person’s opinion of what you should do, chances are you’re in love.
- If you notice what your partner thinks about news, politics, art, or what’s important to you, this is probably love.
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See if that person makes you want to be a better person. If you’re truly in love, you won’t just feel completely comfortable around your partner, even if you’re very content with them. While it’s essential to be happy in your current relationship and to feel who you are, being with that person will make you want to elevate your life until you become someone. the most perfect person possible. Here are a few other signs that you’re really in love:
- If you want to read more, know more, be interested in more areas – simply become a whole person, not just to please your loved one but because that person really pushes you to change your life. yourself in a positive way, then you are probably in love.
- If being with that person makes you want to work hard to correct your flaws and develop your personality, then you’re probably in love.
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See if being with your loved one makes you feel like you’re at your best. If it is true that you are in love, then your lover will make you bring out the best in you. In the end, if you’re really in love, you’ll want to be with that person for the rest of your life, so that person should make you feel like you’re at your best. If you feel like you can never be who you are, or that you’re lacking in some way when you’re with that person, that’s not love. Here are some signs that you’ve fallen in love:
- Being with that person makes you feel the most handsome or the most beautiful, even if you’re wearing the same clothes as usual.
- You feel you are the most intelligent and sensitive when discussing certain topics with your partner.
- You feel most confident when you’re with that person, and you never have to worry about saying something stupid when you’re about to speak.
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See if you recognize the person’s shortcomings and accept them. When you are really in love, you will see your other half as an ordinary person with human flaws, not a god. If you insist that your partner needs to be perfect, you’re in big trouble. But if you’re comfortable admitting that your partner can be a little selfish or isn’t the world’s best listener, you have a more realistic view of the relationship and are more likely to be truly in love.
- Being aware of your partner’s shortcomings doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help them fix them, if that’s the right thing to do.
- If you can’t think of two or three things that make your special someone less than perfect, you’re probably not seeing that person for who they really are.
- If you and your partner are comfortable with each other enough to laugh at each other’s flaws, chances are you’re really in love.
Notice What You Do
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See if you enjoy helping your loved one. Love is about giving and receiving. If you’re in love, you’ll love both. You have fun making lunch, being a chauffeur when that person needs to go somewhere, or even doing laundry for that person when they are sick or needy. Even if you don’t let yourself be taken advantage of by others, you are not afraid to help when your lover needs a helping hand, and in return, people will respond by helping you. Here are a few more signs that you’re really in love:
- You’re happy to grab your loved one’s coffee or surprise him with a cake from your favorite store without feeling like you’re wasting your precious time.
- You love teaching your partner to do something, whether it’s making the perfect burger or solving a complicated math problem.
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See if your loved one makes you laugh. Love doesn’t have to be serious all the time. Sure, you can spend hours staring into your partner’s eyes, but it’s boring forever. If you are really in love, you will be able to be a little silly, laugh with your lover and love their sense of humour. While neither of you need to be comedians for a relationship to work, being able to laugh at each other from time to time is really helpful. This shows that you feel comfortable (and happy) together enough to fall in love.
- If that person has the ability to make you laugh even when you’re in the worst mood, you’re probably in love.
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See if you enjoy doing little things with your loved one. True love isn’t like an episode of reality show The Bachelor – whether riding in a helicopter with your partner or having a romantic picnic at the vineyard can be extremely romantic. It’s romantic and a wonderful experience, but true love means you can find joy in doing the little things with that person, whether it’s going out for a beer at a street bar, buying a kitten or stopping for a bite to eat. ice cream on the way home. Here are some signs that you truly appreciate your time with your partner:
- When you enjoy sitting next to your partner and watching your favorite TV show.
- You love going out for ice cream with your significant other just as much as you enjoy going out for a hearty meal together.
- Spending nights with that person or going on a wild date every now and then – you both like it.
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See if you can get through the tough times with your partner. Love is not always filled with roses; However, if you’re really in love, the good days will come more often than the sad ones, and you can comfortably be with that person in unexpected situations, from losing your job to the death of a loved one. Difficult situations test the strength of your relationship, and if you’ve never overcome obstacles with your partner, you don’t have enough information to know if you’re truly in love.
- If you can work through your relationship dilemmas, such as finding a way to stay together when one of you has an extremely busy schedule or working through disappointments together during an important life event life, then your relationship will become stronger.
- If you can handle the death of a loved one, chances are you have truly fallen in love.
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See if you’re willing to go out of your comfort zone for that person. If you’re truly in love, you’ll be willing to try new and unexpected things for your partner, even if it makes you a little scared or uncomfortable. This doesn’t mean you should go through hot oil or humiliate yourself just to make your partner fall in love with you, but it does mean you’d be willing to go to a strange place as far away as Guatemala to meet your distant relatives. he or she often goes hiking with him/her a few times if he/she is a mountain climber.
- If you’re willing to do something you thought you’d never do, like learn a new language or learn to swim, because that’s what’s really important to your partner, then you’re probably in love.
- As you gradually become more comfortable in uncomfortable situations, with or without your partner, you may be in love.
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See if you’re willing to compromise for that person. If you’re really in love, you’ll know that it’s not always what you want. If that person always has to give in to your requests because you are too stubborn, then you are not in love. Love means that sometimes you get what you want and sometimes you let your partner get what they want; or find a way to satisfy both.
- If you’re in love, you can not only compromise with your partner, but also feel comfortable deciding together, instead of feeling as though you haven’t really gotten what you want.
- If it’s love, then both people can make concessions to each other, instead of one trying to please the other all the time.
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See if you can be yourself in front of that person. If you’re really in love, you won’t have to become a copy of that person, mimicking all of his/her interests and hobbies and discarding all that you liked from before the relationship started. Instead, you can still maintain your true self as love bears fruit. If you were really in love, you would do the following:
- It feels good to hang out with friends without that special someone around, and let that person do the same.
- You can still maintain your hobbies like yoga or soccer, even if that’s something your partner isn’t interested in.
- Happy to spend time alone instead of always with that person.
Pay Attention to What You Say
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See if you can honestly tell your thoughts in front of that person. If you’re really in love, you won’t have to hold back anything when talking to that person. That doesn’t mean you should tell your partner every little thing that annoys or nags at him or her because you think you need to be honest. What it means is that you should feel comfortable in the relationship enough to talk about what’s bothering you or share your true feelings, without feeling as if your talking isn’t worth it because your partner will get bored. , get angry or simply don’t care.
- If you can tell your boyfriend or girlfriend exactly how you feel without worrying about sounding childish or silly, you’re probably in love.
- If you can easily tell jokes no matter how vulgar it is, then you and your partner are in the same boat.
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See if you’re happy to spend hours talking all kinds of nonsense with your partner. If you’re really in love, you and your partner don’t always have to have deep discussions about the meaning of life or the state of your relationship. A lot of love affairs revolve around little things, most conversations don’t need to be world-famous or earth-shattering, and that’s already perfect.
- If you’re really in love, you’ll be ready to dissect the latest episode of “Breaking Bad” with your lover or chatty at a baseball game, and feel okay.
- If you hang up after laughing all the time with your lover and wondering, “What did you two just say?” you are probably in love.
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See if you’re comfortable showing your weaknesses in front of your partner. If you really love, you can easily show the other person your true self, even if those are not very good sides. If everything you say has been refined to make the person like you or want to be with you more, then you are still hiding, not comfortable enough to count as true love.
- If you’re willing to open up and talk about past mistakes or grievances, chances are you’re in love.
- You don’t have to tell your crush all the things that hurt you, but you’ll feel better after you do. When we love each other, we accept each other, even our mistakes and mistakes.
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See if you can always find new ways to compliment your partner. If you are really in love, you feel in your head the urge to compliment the person, new thoughts keep popping up in your head. If all you think is “She’s hot” or “He’s funny,” you need to dig deeper to find out why you’re in love with that person. If you’re in love, you’ll be able to praise your partner’s strengths, both internally and externally.
- If you always find yourself pleasantly surprised by your partner’s seemingly endless good qualities, chances are you’re in love.
- If you often tell that special person things you like about him or her, and you are sincere, then you are in love.
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If it is love, you will recognize the inner beauty of the person, not (just) the outer beauty.
Advice
- When you listen to love songs and think about “that special someone,” it could be a sign that you’re in love.
- If you are in love, when you see that person, chances are that you suddenly feel your heart flutter, and your heart beats faster than usual.
- If you like someone, you will blush and feel embarrassed around that person. But if you really like or love someone, you are self-conscious but also feel very comfortable around them.
- Your heart beats so fast, you may be blushing, excited or nervous. But remember in love need patience. Everything will come at the right time.
- This person makes you excited or overwhelmed with happiness, but most importantly, they encourage you to show the best “of yourself” even without reciprocating your love.
- Do not rush with love! Find the right half. Don’t force yourself to “love” someone just because they’re popular or you think you should.
- Every time you mention that person’s name, you can’t help but smile, maybe you’re in love.
- If you’re willing to wait for that person or stay put for a long time, it’s most likely love.
- When you love someone, you can’t sleep because you can’t stop thinking about that person.
- You will do anything, as long as it’s necessary and good for the person, even if it’s not what you want.
Warning
- What you think of as love may be just madness or lust.
- A lot of people confuse like with love. See Tips.
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This article was co-written by Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC. Dr. Tara Vossenkemper is a licensed professional counselor and founder and chief executive officer of The Counseling Hub, LLC – group counseling service in Cpumbia, Missouri. She is also the founder and business consultant of Tara Vossenkemper Consulting, LLC – a consulting service for therapy owners. With over nine years of experience, she specializes in using the Gottman Method in relationship therapy for couples on the verge of divorce because of conflict or disconnection. Vossenkemper holds a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from the University of Missouri, Saint Louis, a master’s degree in Counseling from Missouri Baptist University, and a PhD in psychology with a major in Educational Supervision and Counseling from the university. Missouri, Saint Louis. She also completed Level 3 training of the Gottman Method in couples therapy and received training in pre-marital couple counseling and PREP methods in couples counseling.
This article has been viewed 25,466 times.
There are many different types of love, but there’s no way to know if you’re really in love – or if it’s just the stinging sensation of momentary madness. However, if you pay attention to your feelings and actions when you’re around that special someone, you’ll be able to see if you really have a crush on that person. If you want to know how to do that, follow these steps.
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