How to Increase Willpower

Always live responsibly. An extremely important step to strengthening overall will is to accept individual responsibility. Do this for both successes and failures along the way.

• It helps to speak or write clearly about your actions. Identify what you did, why you did it, and how you felt. For example, “”I was stressed about finishing my essay, so I decided to distract myself by watching television. I’ll try to manage my stress better so I can finish writing and get things done instead of feeling lazy and lousy.” On the contrary, it should be something like, “I wrote 2 today. essay page because I want to stay on schedule and it helps me feel useful and positive.” ^[8]
• Putting the responsibility on yourself requires absolute honesty. It also enhances impulse control and “flawless vigilance”, and a sense of responsibility when you stop blaming some external factor on the situation. This is a good support for willpower as you will sustain the change of reality with your strength alone. ^[9]

Control negative thoughts. Negative thoughts will inevitably appear in life. You may have a failure that tells you you will never change, or a voice in your head that thinks you won’t succeed, putting you down. If you want to increase your willpower, negativity won’t help because it makes you feel defeated and frustrated. While you can’t completely stop negative thoughts, you can change how you react and deal with them.

• Take note of the negative thought. Daily journaling has many benefits, and one thing you can do is keep a journal of the negative thoughts that pop up throughout the day. ^[10] You will soon be able to identify patterns in negative messages and begin to uncover their origins.
• When you identify a negative thought, like “I’m not able to achieve my goals,” ask if this is really true. Do it by looking at the real evidence, not just by negative sounds telling you. It is possible to create 2 columns in a daily diary, one column is evidence “for” a certain belief, the other column “against” it. In the “Support” column, you can write: “I’ve been trying for a month not to eat sweets and I just can’t. I don’t feel strong enough to change my habits.” In the column “Objection”, you can write “When I set smaller, more achievable goals, I can accomplish them. When I do things day by day or week by week, I achieve a lot of success. In the past, I’ve had success with my goals of finishing school, getting a promotion at the company, and quitting smoking. Maybe before, I couldn’t just give up my sugar consumption outright when I was so fond of sweets. I need to try again, maybe a different method.”
• For an in-depth look at negative thoughts and how to control them, check out more articles on how to deal with negative thoughts.

Be yourself. This means knowing your limits and setting goals accordingly. For example, if you are trying to quit smoking, of course it would be great if you could give it up completely in a week and be successful. But maybe that’s not true for you — maybe you still really enjoy smoking and have been smoking for years. Instead of wanting yourself to pursue the ideal, meaning that someone can give up an addictive habit easily, you may need to try to let go of it slowly. In this way you are being true to yourself while also setting yourself up for success by setting goals based on your understanding of yourself.

Reward yourself. It is important to focus on what needs to be done and take responsibility for your actions. However, it is also important to know how to reward yourself for a good deed. Be kind to yourself on a regular basis to have a strong willpower to keep striving.

• Build a self-reward system. For example, if you’re trying to lose weight, promise yourself you can buy a new piece of clothing each week as you stick to your diet and exercise schedule. ^[11]
• Each person has a self-reward system that works for them. Find something you enjoy, and choose to be kind to yourself often. Having a special occasion reward means you can continue on your chosen path for a longer period of time, providing stronger willpower. ^[12]

Develop good habits. Stress is a leading cause of willpower damage. When we overwork and get angry, we give in to behaviors we should be resisting. By developing good personal habits, we tend to stay on track when under stress.

• Incorporate certain activities into your daily routine, such as exercise and study. This can help combat stress. If doing willpower is seen as an important part of everyday life, like brushing your teeth in the evening, you’re less likely to avoid these things when you’re stressed. ^[13]
• People with good habits are also less affected by stress. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and a consistent sleep schedule can help lessen the impact of life’s stress on you. ^[14]

Don’t hesitate. Procrastination can kill willpower. Putting tasks that we see as burdens aside makes us more inclined to not do them at all. Avoid procrastination if you want to strengthen your will.

• Procrastination often has its roots in perfectionism. People tend to give up on things when they are stressed about having to do them perfectly. Understand that procrastinating doesn’t actually reduce stress, but also has a high risk of increasing it. You’d be better off working in spite of the constraints rather than contemplating the task at hand. ^[15]

Keep a diary. Keeping a daily journal can help strengthen your willpower because you can see a history of progress made. Failures feel less unpleasant if you compare them to successes. Let’s say you gained about 2 kg during the holidays. Review your diary from when you started your weight loss plan to remember how successful you were. ^[16]