How to Ignore Your Husband

In a relationship, sometimes you need a mental break. Married life can be stressful, and sometimes it’s better to ignore bad habits or negative moods. You can apply many ways to ignore your husband when necessary. However, keep in mind that being cold to your husband in the long run will ruin your marriage. If there is an underlying problem that upsets you, identify the problem instead of pretending not to know it.

Table of Contents

Ignore your husband in a healthy way

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Ignore your husband when he’s in a bad mood. If your husband is angry or in a bad mood, it’s better not to get involved. Often, it’s hard to reason with people who are angry. In this case, ignoring your husband until he calms down is the right thing to do and even healthy.

A bad mood often makes someone want to argue. For example, when your husband is having a bad day at work, he may overreact to your petty unintentional actions. If you know he’s in a bad mood, don’t take it as your problem if he’s causing trouble. ^{[1] X Research Source}
If your husband gets angry and tries to argue, the best response is to ignore him. Ignoring the provocation seems like you’ve given up. However, it is actually more effective. An angry person will not listen to any reason or reason and will not calm down even when you try to apologize or defend yourself. If your partner tries to provoke you into a fight, simply respond briefly with “Yes” or “OK” until he gives up and leaves. ^{[2] X Research Source}
This is not a long term solution. In a moment of urgency, ignoring your husband’s anger can be an effective way to deal with it, but it’s not something you should do all the time. Sometimes, people get angry and upset with their loved ones because they had an unlucky day or were in a bad mood. However, when this happens frequently, it becomes a serious problem. If your husband is moody, the two of you should talk about it calmly.

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Go to sleep even though you’re angry. If you and your husband argue late at night, sometimes it’s better to go to bed. Try to ignore any negative feelings towards your husband and go to bed. If you’re still upset the next morning, you can talk when you’ve both calmed down.

If you and your partner argue late at night, tell your partner that you’re going to bed. Try to ignore anything he does to irritate you. You can try relaxation techniques, such as knuckle cracking, deep breathing, and counting exercises. These ways will help you ignore the situation and fall asleep faster.
When arguing in the middle of the night, you will often say harsh words. Your brain goes numb when you’re tired, making it difficult for you to convey your frustrations to your partner. The later the night, the more irritable you are. In the morning, you will have a more positive outlook and be better prepared for problem analysis and reconciliation. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

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Learn to accept bad habits. Everyone has bad habits. Sometimes, people are not aware that a certain behavior can make others uncomfortable. If your husband has a habit or tendency that annoys you, it’s better to ignore it than to try to change it.

Unfortunately, some bad habits cannot be changed. Perhaps your husband often forgets to throw away the empty box of orange juice, even though you have reminded him a thousand times. In this case, it’s best to complete the task yourself. Accepting your husband’s bad habits will make it easier to ignore them. ^{[4] X Research Sources}
You can also negotiate to win a part in some cases. For example, your husband never remembers to put his used towels in the basket after he showers, but he’ll probably stop throwing towels on the bedroom floor. ^{[5] X Research Sources}
Ignore behaviors that make you uncomfortable. Don’t see it as your problem. A bad habit, such as not turning off the light when leaving the room is simply his own bad habit. This has nothing to do with how much he loves or respects you.

Identify deeper problems

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Focus on yourself. If you feel that you tend to be indifferent to your husband, you need to consider this carefully. In a relationship, it’s very rare that the problem is the fault of one person entirely. It could be because you unintentionally imposed your bad mood or boredom on your husband. Take some time to think about what’s bothering you.

Did you do something different in your marriage? Are you not around as often as you used to be? Do you sometimes look down on your husband’s role? Do you have behaviors that make your husband uncomfortable to tease? ^{[10] X Research Source}
Is there a deeper problem that bothers you? If you’re under pressure or distressed about something, even if it’s not related to your marriage, it can still manifest in some subtle ways. For example, if you are under work pressure, you will be more irritable. You probably don’t want to hear your husband talk about his gym session. If there’s something in your life that’s bothering you, talk to your husband about what’s bothering you. Then make an effort to change the situation to become a happier person.

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Consider whether there are problems with your marriage. However, it may not simply be your problem. If you yourself always want to ignore your husband, your marriage is probably in serious trouble. ^{[11] X Research Source} Perhaps your husband’s way of talking makes you disgusted. Maybe you feel like you’re not spending time together anymore. Perhaps you are not satisfied with your sex life. If you find a problem that you can both solve together, you need to talk about it. Ignoring your husband is not a smart solution in the long run.

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Take time to discuss the problem. It’s stressful to talk about serious problems in a marriage. You can take this pressure off by planning a time and place where you will discuss.

Choose a location that doesn’t have many distractions. For example, do not discuss about husband and wife in a crowded restaurant. Instead, sit down and chat in the living room with the TV off.
Avoid outside time pressure. For example, if you have a meeting with the Parents and Teachers Association at 7 o’clock, don’t discuss your marriage at 6 o’clock. Choose to talk on a weekday or weekend evening when neither of you have any plans or dates.

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Use sentence patterns that begin with “I/Em” if something upsets you. When discussing problems, you should use sentence patterns that begin with “I/Em”. These sentences emphasize emotions while minimizing objective judgment or blame.

Sentences that begin with “I/Em” should focus on how you feel about the situation. You are responsible for your own emotions. This will minimize criticism. You are not acknowledging any objective facts about the marriage. You are just expressing your feelings about the situation.
The sentence pattern that begins with “I/You” has 3 parts. You will start by saying “I/You feel”, then express how you feel, and explain why you feel the way you do.
When discussing marriage, don’t say something like, “It’s mindless for you to talk curtly to me after a bad day at work.” Instead, say sentences that begin with “I/You”. Say something like, “I feel hurt when you see me as a place to vent after a bad day at work because I don’t want to be in a relationship where it’s okay to yell at each other.”

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Use nonverbal affirmations. Sometimes, you need to take a few days to calm down after a fight. You will find yourself ignoring your husband when you both talk less. However, you should make up for the lack of communication by using nonverbal affirmations. Be more affectionate towards your husband. Hug and kiss him goodbye. Hold his hand or put your hand on his lap while sitting together. Take action to make him feel secure about the relationship, even if you’re mad at each other. ^{[12] X Research Source}

Avoid the pitfalls

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Determine what behaviors need to be addressed. If you want to ignore your husband, this is a sign of a dysfunctional relationship. While it is normal to ignore or overlook a few mistakes, there are a few negative aspects of a relationship that need to be addressed.

If your husband can’t control his anger, this is a good reason for discussion. With that said, perhaps it would be better to ignore the anger for now. However, if your husband has a habit of yelling at him every time he gets angry, you need to have a serious conversation. ^{[13] X Research Source}
Addiction can destroy a relationship. If your husband is addicted to drugs or alcohol, you should advise him to seek treatment. Do not ignore this issue. ^{[14] X Research Source}
Unless you have an open marriage, don’t ignore the affair. If infidelity is suspected, confront your husband. ^{[15] X Research Source}

Steps

Ignore your husband in a healthy way

Identify deeper problems

Avoid the pitfalls

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