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This article was co-written by Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA. Julia Lyubchenko is a consultant psychologist and hypnotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Operating a practice called Therapy Under Hypnosis, Julia has over eight years of experience in counseling and psychotherapy, specializing in emotional and behavioral issues. She holds a certificate in clinical hypnosis from Bosurgi Method Schop and is certified in Hypnotherapy and Psychodynamic Oriented Psychotherapy. Tri holds a master’s degree in counseling psychology and marriage and family therapy from Alliant International University and a master of science degree in child and developmental psychology from Moscow State University.
This article has been viewed 6,013 times.
Ignoring someone you don’t like can be difficult. At school, at work, or in your relationships, there are times when you will feel like you just can’t get along with someone. In this case, you can politely ignore the person by keeping your distance and ignoring the negative behavior. You probably still want to be polite even when ignoring someone. It won’t do you any good to respond to them by being rude as well. While disinterest can be effective, if the person’s actions are interfering with your ability to work and study, perhaps you should confront them.
Steps
Handling common social situations
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Avoid that person. Avoidance is sometimes the simplest way to ignore someone. If someone makes you uncomfortable, try to keep your distance from them as much as possible. [1] X Research Source
- You can avoid going to the places they usually go. If an annoying co-worker often eats lunch in the company cafeteria, try having lunch outside the office or choose a later mealtime.
- Avoid situations where you might meet the person in person. If that annoying person at school is going to some party this weekend, make other plans.
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Avoid making eye contact with them. When you’re in the same place as someone who makes you uncomfortable, be aware of your eye contact. If you accidentally look at them, it can cause the two of you to meet each other’s eyes. This is what could be misinterpreted as an invitation to meet and chat. When you’re around the person, try not to look at them. This will help you reduce engagement. [2] X Research Source
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Communicate through other people. While working, sometimes you have to communicate with people you don’t like. The easiest way to get over this is to ask someone else. However, you don’t have to be rude. For example, don’t tell the other person but intentionally let the other person hear that “Please tell Nam – the person I don’t want to talk to anymore, put his dirty plate in the sink”. Instead, you should only ask others to pass on information when necessary.
- For example, when the person and you are involved in a work project. You can ask a team member to communicate with that person, or you can just contact them via email or text.
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Short answer. You can’t completely avoid talking to the person, especially when you’re still seeing them at school or work. You certainly don’t want to be silent when someone is talking to you; so please choose to shorten the answer. When the person speaks, you simply respond with ‘Ah’ and ‘Yes’. Here’s how to let them know you want to keep your distance. [3] X Research Sources
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Don’t pay attention to negative behavior. If that person is often pessimistic or severely critical of the things around them, ignore it. Ignoring them will help you stay positive and unaffected by their negativity.
- For example, if a coworker is constantly complaining about their workload, ignore them so you don’t feel bad about your work.
- However, you should not ignore everything. If your coworker is always teasing you to the point where you feel uncomfortable in their presence, you should be upfront about it. Try saying “Can you stop joking about my outfit? I like what I wear, but I don’t like people commenting on my clothes.”
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Show up with other people, if needed. If the person causing you trouble often behaves aggressively towards you, find a companion. You need to find more friends or colleagues to accompany you to places where you can meet that person. For example, a friend will accompany you at recess or on your lunch break so that the person cannot get close. [4] X Research Sources
Still behaving properly
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Always be polite to that person. There’s no reason to be rude just because you’re ignoring someone. In fact, being rude will only make the situation worse. When you have to communicate with that person, always be polite. [5] X Research Sources
- Use polite words like “Please”, “Sorry” and “Thank you”. You still behave politely but show some hardness. This is a way to show that you are friendly but don’t want to interact much with them.
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Don’t make fun of that person. Ignoring others should not become aggressive. Don’t make a cold face at the person, roll your eyes when the person is talking, or intentionally pretend not to hear what they are saying to you. At this point you are also becoming an annoyance – which is not a wise approach. Don’t poke fun at someone while you’re ignoring them. [6] X Research Sources
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Acknowledge their presence when needed. You can’t completely consider someone invisible, especially when working with them. When necessary, acknowledge their presence in a polite but not overly friendly manner. For example, you can wave or nod quickly when you pass them in the hallway. Also, keep answering the question “How are things?” succinctly like “Still fine. Thank you”. [7] X Research Sources
- When conversing with that person, you should only use short and to the point sentences. That way, you’ll avoid talking about awkward or uncomfortable topics.
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Leave when needed. Sometimes people can’t read the subtext. If someone continues to annoy you, even after you have subtly signaled that you don’t want to talk to them, you can make some excuse to walk away. [8] X Research Sources
- For example, a co-worker is critical of some aspect of your personal life. Even when you don’t argue, they keep talking.
- At that point, say, “Yes, I appreciate your opinion, but I don’t really need it and I have my own way,” and leave the situation.
Confront that person when needed
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Speak up to defend yourself when necessary. Sometimes, the person who upsets you will go overboard to the point where you feel uncomfortable or threatened. In this case, you can completely defend yourself. Be frank about the situation. [9] X Research Source
- Calmly tell the person that they have crossed the line. Let them know you cannot tolerate this behavior.
- You can say, “Stop talking to me in that tone. I don’t need advice at the moment.”
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Record negative behaviors at work or school. If you feel uncomfortable because of an annoying person at school or work, record their behavior. This is a way to help you have information to present to your superiors when needed. [10] X Research Source
- Whenever the person bothers you, write down briefly what they said, who witnessed it, and the specific date and time.
- When you need to report this nuisance, you’ll have plenty of information to back it up.
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Calmly talk to the person about their behavior. If someone is constantly bugging you, you can talk to them about the behavior. However, wait until it’s just you and the person before calmly explaining their wrongdoing [11] X Research Source
- For example: “I know you don’t mean anything bad, but I don’t like being teased about my outfit.”
- Let the person know how you feel about their behavior: “It makes me feel uncomfortable at work because now people are always talking about how I look.”
- Finally, tell them what to do from now on. For example, you could say, “I really don’t want you to keep making comments like that. You know what I mean, don’t you?”
- Instead of criticizing the person, let them know what actions you cannot tolerate. Here’s how to avoid arguments. Instead of saying, “You’re annoying,” you could say, “I really need some quiet to get things done.”
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Thanks to the intervention of superiors. If the person’s behavior still doesn’t improve after the face-to-face conversation, ask your supervisor for intervention. If at school, tell your teacher or principal. If you are at work, report it to human resources. You have the right to feel comfortable at work or school. [12] X Research Source
Advice
- Wearing a headset is a way to signal to others that you don’t want to talk.
- If you avoid the person at school but they still find a way to disturb you so that you have to pretend to do something like drawing in your notebook or using your phone, don’t get angry because they just want to get your attention. .
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This article was co-written by Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA. Julia Lyubchenko is a consultant psychologist and hypnotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Operating a practice called Therapy Under Hypnosis, Julia has over eight years of experience in counseling and psychotherapy, specializing in emotional and behavioral issues. She holds a certificate in clinical hypnosis from Bosurgi Method Schop and is certified in Hypnotherapy and Psychodynamic Oriented Psychotherapy. Tri holds a master’s degree in counseling psychology and marriage and family therapy from Alliant International University and a master of science degree in child and developmental psychology from Moscow State University.
This article has been viewed 6,013 times.
Ignoring someone you don’t like can be difficult. At school, at work, or in your relationships, there are times when you will feel like you just can’t get along with someone. In this case, you can politely ignore the person by keeping your distance and ignoring the negative behavior. You probably still want to be polite even when ignoring someone. It won’t do you any good to respond to them by being rude as well. While disinterest can be effective, if the person’s actions are interfering with your ability to work and study, perhaps you should confront them.
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