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Every parent wants to protect their children from abusers, but how do you keep them safe when you don’t recognize them? Anyone can be a pedophile, so identifying an abuser is not easy – especially since most pedophiles initially win the child’s trust. Read on to learn which behaviors and characteristics are red flags, which situations to avoid, and how to prevent a pedophile from targeting your child.
However, you should remember, not all pedophiles are pedophiles, and having thoughts about children does not mean abusing them. Furthermore, a person who is better at interacting with children than with adults is not necessarily a pedophile. Unjustly accusing someone of being a pedophile can cause severe depression and social anxiety. [1] X Research Source
Steps
Know the portrait of a pedophile
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Understand that any adult can be a pedophile. Pedophiles do not share any physical characteristics, looks, occupations or personality types. They can be of any gender or race. Their religion, profession, and interests are as diverse as everyone else’s. Pedophiles can appear charming, lovable, and kind when they have bad intentions and are very good at covering them up. That means you don’t rush to exclude any object. [2] X Research Source
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Know that most pedophiles are people who know the child they abuse. 30% of children are sexually abused by family members, and 60% of children are abused by acquaintances. Thus, only 10% of children who are sexually abused are victims of a complete stranger. [3] X Trusted Sources American Psychpogical Association Go to Source
- In most cases, the pedophile turns out to be someone the child knows at school or through other activities, such as a neighbor, teacher, coach, priest, music teacher or Babysister. [4] X Harvard Medical Schop Trusted Source Go to Source
- Family members such as father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, aunt, uncle, cousin, step-parent, etc. can all be pedophiles.
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Know the common characteristics of pedophiles. Although anyone can be a pedophile, most of them are men, whether their victims are girls or boys. [5] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source Many former sex offenders have a history of physical or sexual abuse.
- Some pedophiles have a mental illness, such as a personality or mood disorder. [6] X Harvard Medical Schop Trusted Source Go to Source
- Gay and heterosexual pedophilia are equally likely to be pedophilia. The idea that homosexuals are more likely to be pedophiles than heterosexuals is a complete myth. [7] X Trusted Sources American Psychpogical Association Go to Source
- Female pedophiles are more likely to abuse boys than girls.
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Identify common pedophile behaviors. Pedophiles often show more concern for children than for adults. They may work in occupations that involve contact with children, or they may devise other ways to reach children, such as acting as a coach, babysitter or a helpful neighbor. [8] X Research Sources
- Pedophiles often talk and treat children as if they were adults. They may talk about a child as they would about an adult friend or lover. [9] X Research Source
- Pedophiles often say that they love all children or that they feel like children.
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Watch for the “polished” sign. The word “polishing” here refers to the process by which the pedophile gains the trust of the child and sometimes the parents. Over a period of months or even years, the pedophile will gradually become a close friend of the whole family, helping with babysitting, taking the child out or shopping, playing with the child in other ways. . Many pedophiles will not abuse a child until they are trusted. Some may take advantage of the good comments of those around them to gain people’s trust and may lead their children to go shopping.
- Pedophiles often find children who are easily trapped because they lack affection or are not properly cared for by the family, or they will convince the child’s parents that they will ensure the child’s safety and will not go. far away. The pedophile will try to play the role of “parent” to the child.
- Some pedophiles target children of single parents who do not have adequate supervision, or they make the child’s parents believe that they are decent people who do not need supervision.
- The pedophile often uses a variety of activities, games, tricks and words to gain trust and/or trick the child. These tricks include: keeping secrets (children always like secrets, like to be seen as “adults” and hold some power), erotic games, cuddling, kissing, touching. molestation, sexually suggestive behavior, showing children pornography, coercion, bribery, flattery, and worst of all, love. Understand that the ultimate goal of such tactics is to isolate and deceive the child.
Protect your child from abusers
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Find out if there are sex offenders living in your neighborhood. If you’re in the US, you can use the US Department of Justice’s national sex offender database (at http://www.nsopw.gov/en-US) to find out if any sex offenders are on the list. the list lives in your area. Just type in the area code and search and you’ll know where the pedophile might be living.
- You can also search for individual names to see if someone is a sex offender.
- Being aware of potential abusers is good, but you need to understand that any action against local registered sex offenders is illegal.
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Supervise children’s extracurricular activities. Taking great care of your child’s life is the best way to protect them from pedophiles. They often target children who are vulnerable and do not receive adequate parental attention, or they lead the child’s parents to believe that they are not a danger to the child. Attend games, practice and rehearsals, adult-accompanied field trips or outings, and spend time learning about the adults you often come in contact with. Make it clear that you are a caring parent and are available at all times.
- If you can’t accompany your child on outings, make sure you have at least two adult supervision.
- Do not leave your child alone with adults you do not know well. Even relatives can be dangerous. It is important to be present if possible.
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Install surveillance cameras if you hire a babysitter. There are times when you cannot be present, so use other means to ensure your child’s safety. Install hidden cameras in your home to detect improper behavior. Even if you think you know someone well, you still need to take care to ensure your child’s safety.
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Teach your children to stay safe online. Make sure your kids know that people with bad intentions often pretend to be your child’s age to trick them online. Monitor children’s internet use, set time limits for “chat”. Talk to your child often about their friends online.
- Make sure your child knows never to send pictures or go out with someone they know online.
- Knowing that children often keep their online behavior secret, especially when instigated by others, you need to be very vigilant and monitor your child’s online activity.
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Make sure your child feels loved and supported. [10] X Research Resources Children who are not properly cared for are especially vulnerable to abusers, so it’s important to spend time with them and make sure they feel your support. . Talk to your child daily and build a relationship of trust and openness.
- The pedophile will tell the child not to tell the parents.
- Make sure your child understands that if someone asks her to keep it private, it’s not because she’ll get in trouble, but because the person knows they’re doing something wrong.
- Express an interest in all activities of the child, including academics, extracurricular activities, hobbies and other interests.
- Let your child know that he can talk to you about anything, and that you are available to talk to him.
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Teach children to recognize inappropriate touching. Many parents use the principle of “good touch, bad touch, secret touch”. It’s about teaching your child that there are normal touches like pats on the back or high fives; having unpleasant or “bad” touches such as hitting or kicking; and there are secret touches, that is, touching that the person tells the child not to reveal. Use one way or another to teach your child that some types of touching are not good, and that they need to tell you right away when it happens. [11] X Research Source
- Teach your child that no one is allowed to touch their private areas. Many parents define private areas as areas that are covered when wearing a bathing suit. Children should also know that adults should not ask children to touch anyone’s private areas or their own.
- Teach your child to say “no” and walk away if someone tries to touch their private parts.
- Tell your child to come to you immediately if someone touches them in an inappropriate way.
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Recognize when something is out of the ordinary in your child. If you notice your child behaving strangely, find a way to find out what’s wrong. Regularly ask your child about his or her day, asking about “good”, “bad” and “secret” touches to get him talking. Never rush to refute if your child reports that he or she has been touched with bad intentions or that he does not trust an adult. Trust your child first.
- Do not refute your child’s account because the person in question has social status or seems incapable of doing such things. That’s exactly what the pedophile wants.
- Remember that the most important thing you can do to protect your child is to pay attention to them. Know your child’s needs and desires, talk to them, and generally do your best to be the best parent you can. Bottom line: if you don’t pay attention to your child, someone will.
- Remember that children up to the age of 12 need sex education and be taught everything that is involved. This will prevent the pedophile who is the child’s teacher or friend from leading and teaching the child completely differently. Make sure your child knows everything there is to know before he can hear someone say that kissing/licking the teacher’s cheek is completely normal.
- If your child is too young or under 14 years old, he or she may not be able to tell the difference between a difficult teacher giving a lot of homework or a teacher acting strangely asking him or her to kiss him on the cheek before leave class. Both actions are “unpleasant” for the child. So if your child tells nonsensical stories about the teacher telling lewd jokes or touching the child, or “annoying” and asking about “private” things, maybe something is wrong. fine.
- As soon as your child talks about a teacher acting strangely or asks for information/pictures or personal things about his or her siblings, you need to teach them how to react. You need to be realistic! It won’t do any good to tell your child to scream loudly when the teacher touches his shoulder or to scream every time he touches his back. Children will not react the same way to the teacher, especially if the teacher has a decent appearance and The teacher said that he just wanted to help. You need to ask the child to make it clear to the other person that he or she told you about what happened, and that the child did not like it. Or you can give your child an envelope that includes a letter in your handwriting: “Stop touching my daughter/son.” Make sure the child gives it to the other person when they touch their sensitive parts and doesn’t stop when the child tells them to stop. (Keep in mind, however, that this will only work if you are absolutely certain that the person is ignoring it and is actually crossing the line. An involuntary hand on the shoulder is not the case.) .
Warning
- Clarifying terms: A pedophile is someone who has an interest in prepubertal children (a common misconception in the media that a pedophile is anyone who has an interest in a minor) , extended to minors, that’s incorrect). A pedophile is interested in children under 14 and 15 years old, and a hebephile is interested in children aged 16-19 years. A pedophile is, of course, anyone who abuses a child, regardless of what object they are interested in.
- Remember that a child who looks lonely and sad is very likely to be a target of abuse. Ask about your child’s school, get to know his or her friends. If your child doesn’t have friends, find a way to help him. The strength of the majority is extremely important in many cases, and can save a child if you are unfortunately not present.
- Child sexual abuse affects the mental health of children as adults with disorders, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), borderline personality disorder (BPD) and borderline personality disorder (BPD). multiple personality disorder (DID).
- Use caution when leaving children alone with healthcare workers. It is normal for doctors to ask that a teenager be separated from parents for a private examination, if the patient feels comfortable, but rarely does he or she request a separate visit with the young child. Use your judgment to protect young children from abuse in the medical field. [12] X Research Sources[13] X Research Sources
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wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 55 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 13,131 times.
Every parent wants to protect their children from abusers, but how do you keep them safe when you don’t recognize them? Anyone can be a pedophile, so identifying an abuser is not easy – especially since most pedophiles initially win the child’s trust. Read on to learn which behaviors and characteristics are red flags, which situations to avoid, and how to prevent a pedophile from targeting your child.
However, you should remember, not all pedophiles are pedophiles, and having thoughts about children does not mean abusing them. Furthermore, a person who is better at interacting with children than with adults is not necessarily a pedophile. Unjustly accusing someone of being a pedophile can cause severe depression and social anxiety. [1] X Research Source
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