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This article was co-written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Sarah Schewitz, PsyD is a psychologist with over 10 years of experience helping couples and individuals improve and change love and relationship habits. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology clinic.
This article has been viewed 2,736 times.
Recovering from a breakup can be difficult because you will be overwhelmed with mixed emotions. You can try to get out of bed and have a normal life when your heart is broken. To heal a broken heart, you can take care of yourself and reach out to friends, family, and a therapist or counselor. Alternatively, you can learn to let go of your ex so you can move on and focus on improving your mood.
Steps
Let go of old love
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Avoid contact with that person. Give yourself the time and space you need to recover from a breakup. Avoid talking or texting with the person. Remove them from social networks to distance themselves from them. [1] X Research Source
- Let them know that you need time and space, so they won’t contact you. Say, “I need time to myself. I would be very grateful if you didn’t contact me while I was settling my emotions.”
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Get rid of the person’s objects or memorabilia. Do not keep items that belong to them or remind you of them. Accept that you need to let them go to heal your broken heart. [2] X Research Source
- For example, you can arrange for the person to come and clean up your house – you can ask a friend to look after you, and donate to charity the gifts he or she has given you.
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Consider a gap-filling relationship. While this type of void-filling affection is often thought to be detrimental to both parties, you can still get some real benefit from meeting other people after a breakup. Dating can make you feel more valuable and make it easier to let go of your ex. You can also feel less anxious and become more independent if you start dating again soon after a breakup. [3] X Research Sources
- You can agree to matchmaking by friends or relatives. Or try online dating for a chance to meet new people.
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Wait until you’re ready to be with someone else. If you feel like you’re being too fragile and vulnerable to date someone with a broken heart, wait until you’re ready. Instead, focus on taking care of yourself and spending time with friends and family. Pay attention to your own needs and growth. Then, pursue a new relationship when you’re ready. [4] X Research Sources
- It may take some time for your heart to heal and to feel open enough to date other people. Be patient with yourself and don’t try to force yourself to get over your feelings right away.
Take care of yourself
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Write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal. Put what you’re feeling on paper. Don’t put pressure on yourself to edit or proofread what you’ve written. You just need to release your emotions and moods. This will help you feel better about your broken heart and gradually settle your thoughts. [5] X Research Sources
- You can use topics like: “What were the problems in that relationship?”, “How did I know we were going to break up?”, “How am I feeling right now?” This?”
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Focus on a hobby . Maybe you enjoy painting or reading, or you have a passion for carpentry, knitting, or sports. Instead of letting your emotions take over, focus on an activity that you enjoy doing. This will help you relax and focus on the present instead of getting stuck in the memory of the past relationship. [6] X Research Sources
- Take classes that teach you a hobby that interests you, such as painting or knitting. Plus, you can enroll in sports teams like volleyball or basketball, so you can focus on the things you love.
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A little exercise every day. Working out and working up a sweat is a great way to feel less moody and sad after a breakup. Try jogging or walking. You should exercise for about 30 minutes every day. Take fitness classes several times a week. [7] X Research Sources
- If you’re having a hard time exercising, bring a friend along to keep you both motivated. You can also invite them to go for a jog or walk.
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Try deep breathing exercises. If you’re starting to feel jittery or stressed from the breakup, try doing deep breathing exercises to calm down and relax. Find a quiet and private place to practice breathing. Then, begin to inhale and exhale slowly for a few minutes at a time.
- You can also take a class dedicated to deep breathing to feel more calm and relaxed.
- Many yoga classes will encourage you to breathe deeply. You can take yoga classes that focus on slow, relaxing movements.
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Use positive affirmations. They will help you maintain a positive outlook on life, even when you feel distressed or overwhelmed. Try repeating positive affirmations every morning when you wake up or every night before you go to bed. Focus on sentences that make you feel strong and full of life. [8] X Research Sources
- For example, you could say, “I’ll be fine” or “I’m strong and steady.” You can also use statements like: “I will get through this” or “I will get on”.
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Avoid self-destructive behaviors. When you’re suffering, it’s easy to engage in dangerous behavior. However, try not to do things that harm you both physically and mentally, such as drinking too much or abusing drugs. Also, avoid frequent contact with your ex or isolating yourself. Those behaviors will only hurt you and those around you more.
- If you feel like engaging in self-destructive actions, reach out to a friend or loved one.
- Get help immediately or call 911 if you are trying to harm yourself.
Find someone else
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Spend time with close friends or family members. Reach out to friends and family for support during your grief. Get in touch with your close friends and have dinner together or arrange an outing. Call your loved ones and give them some well-deserved time. [9] X Research Source
- Usually, being around people who care about you makes you feel better and less lonely.
- Don’t isolate yourself from everyone. Even just finding a friend can make a difference.
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Offer to help those who are in trouble. Helping others can make you feel less alone and lost. Bring food to visit a sick friend or take a loved one to the doctor. Be with a friend in need. [10] X Research Source
- You can volunteer at a local organization or charity to help others.
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Pet. Pets can help you forget your broken heart. They are also great friends and a daily source of encouragement. Go to animal shelters or pet stores to adopt.
- If you’re not ready for a full-time pet, you can get a temporary job at an animal shelter or help a friend.
- Make sure you are ready to take care of your pet before adopting them. You will need to spend time and money to buy food and care for your pet.
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See a therapist or counselor. If you are really struggling to stabilize emotionally and psychologically, seek professional help. You can find a therapist near you to talk to. Contact a counselor at your school or through your doctor. Schedule a meeting with them and express your feelings.
- You can also reach out to therapists for online consultation, where you’ll chat with them through chat software or video calls.
- If you know anyone in your family or friends who is currently seeing a therapist or counselor, you can ask them for a referral. You will feel more comfortable meeting a professional you know is skilled and friendly.
X
This article was co-written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Sarah Schewitz, PsyD is a psychologist with over 10 years of experience helping couples and individuals improve and change love and relationship habits. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology clinic.
This article has been viewed 2,736 times.
Recovering from a breakup can be difficult because you will be overwhelmed with mixed emotions. You can try to get out of bed and have a normal life when your heart is broken. To heal a broken heart, you can take care of yourself and reach out to friends, family, and a therapist or counselor. Alternatively, you can learn to let go of your ex so you can move on and focus on improving your mood.
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