How to Get a Boyfriend (for gay men)

Finding a good man is a concern for many guys. You have to determine where you will meet him, how to approach and get their attention. This is a dilemma, especially for people with poor social skills. Fortunately, they can still use some communication techniques, participate in social activities to find themselves a suitable man and maintain a healthy, long-term relationship.

Table of Contents

Meeting

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Go to LGBT events. Participating in events for people in the world is a great way to contribute and find yourself a suitable audience. ^{[1] X Source of Research} Choose an event or activity that you can support to attend with a positive attitude, open to friends and having fun. Make it a goal for yourself to go out and meet people. If you see someone you like, go up to them and talk to them.

VietPride is a monumental annual event for the Vietnamese LGBT community. ^{[2] X Research Source} You can keep up to date with information about this event on VietPride’s official Facebook page.
Some other big events organized by Vietnamese LGBT community include Diversity Celebration Day, Miss Beauty (Transgender Contest), “I Agree” Campaign and many exciting activities. other. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

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Join dating sites or apps to find people. There are many dating sites that you can use to find suitable matches near where you live. These websites ask you to create an account and answer questions to fill out the personal information in your profile. If used correctly, these websites can be very effective tools to help you start a serious relationship. Or you can try mobile apps to find singles in your area. These software will help you find them quickly and follow your request more closely. If you plan to just meet new people for fun, this is a great way to connect with a large number of people of the same sex near you.

Some sites for gay men include Plun.Asia, Taosinh.net. ^{[4] X Research Sources}
Some gay dating apps like Blued, Hornet. ^{[5] X Research Sources}
When creating a profile on a dating app, focus on the appeal and variety of the photos you use.
For gay men, photos taken outdoors or showing off toned biceps will add more attraction to your profile. ^{[6] X Research Sources}
Don’t start long and boring conversations over text messages before meeting someone. It’s fine to meet online, but it’s best to meet in person.

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Find the right man at gay bars. Search online for gay places in your area. Check out the reviews of each place and choose an environment that suits your personality. If you are a quiet person, the light and relaxing atmosphere in the tea room is the space for you. If you like to party, go to lively places like beer clubs or bars.

These places are full of guys who are also looking for the same audience as you.
There are quite a few places specifically for gay men, which you can refer to on the internet. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

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Volunteering in non-profit LGBT organizations. Through these activities, you will find a man with the same beliefs and passion for volunteering as you. This is a great way to connect with gay men in the area. Expanding your social circle will help you find the right person.

Some typical non-profit organizations are ICS – Organization to protect and promote the rights of LGBT people in Vietnam, Gay Community Vietnam.
Or you can look to local community centers that work for gay rights.
Volunteer work can include helping organize parades, participating in plays calling for equal rights, doing post-production for media products or donating to charity trips. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

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Be active, sociable, and focused on events you enjoy. Just because you’re a gay man, that doesn’t mean you have to attend gay events or organizations to find your soul mate. Keep a positive outlook in your mind, go out and socialize. Join a community course or fitness club if you have trouble communicating with others. Always seize opportunities to participate in social events with your group or friends and be kind and friendly to new friends. A right and positive attitude will help you exude attraction to other men. When you find the right person, spend more time with them.

Don’t show disdain, selfishness or hostility towards the people you meet.
When you find someone you like, you can boldly ask them out, such as “I think you’re very cute. Would you like to go out for coffee or beer with me sometime?”
If you’re not sure about a guy’s sexual orientation, focus on his body language. If he seems aloof, uninterested, or pushes you away when you try to make physical contact, he probably doesn’t like you.

Get the guy’s attention

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Love yourself. Before attracting others, you need to love and care for yourself first. This may sound normal, but it’s actually an important aspect that many people forget before dating. If you are not aware of your own worth, it will be difficult for others to see your worth.

Appreciate your small accomplishments and realize that while you’re not perfect, it’s what makes you unique.
Don’t ignore negative things. Focus on improving the areas where you think you are limited, being realistic with your goals and what needs to be done to achieve them.

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Become more confident. Straightening your back, smiling, and making eye contact with the people you talk to will help you build a confident image. ^{[9] X Source of Research} Don’t be too arrogant or take yourself too seriously. Think of the positives in your personality and work to improve what you lack.

Pretending to be confident can get you a guy right away, but it’s a true sense of self-worth that will help you have a lasting relationship.

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Maintain good personal hygiene. A clean and fragrant body is a factor that attracts others. Remember to shower every day, use deodorant and keep your nails neat and clean. ^{[10] X Research Source} Poor personal hygiene will cause your partner to lose interest in you, so keep this in mind if you’re looking for love. ^{[11] X Research Source}

Wearing clean clothes is also an important factor when going out on a date. ^{[12] X Research Source}

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Dress comfortably but still make an impression. You need to feel confident and comfortable in your clothes when you go out to meet new people. However, if your clothes feel ridiculous or uncomfortable, it will affect your mood and the course of the date. ^{[13] X Research Source} Choose what you normally wear, look at yourself in the mirror to make sure your clothes are clean and fresh before stepping out.

Choose clothes that flatter your figure. For example, if you have strong arms, wear a t-shirt.

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Make eye contact and smile at the person you like. Eye contact is essential when we want to actively attract someone’s attention. Eye contact is also an intimate element that creates romance and a feeling of closeness to others. ^{[14] X Research Source} If you are in public and notice a stranger, make eye contact with him first to show that you are interested in him. If he smiles and returns your gaze or keeps looking straight at you, you can start approaching him.

If he turns away or ignores you, he probably hasn’t seen it yet. You need to make sure he knows you’re looking at him, then get his attention.

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Let go of the fear of rejection. Fear of rejection can be a powerful emotion that prevents you from going ahead and finding yourself a man. Rejection can cause physical and emotional pain, and those past experiences will shape how you view your current relationships in a negative light. ^{[15] X Research Source} To reduce fear, you should not put too much emotion at the same time. Also, training yourself to be less sensitive to it will help you gradually adjust to the feeling. Be bold to go out, meet a lot of men and get used to being rejected. Gradual exposure is a common treatment for people with phobias or anxiety. ^{[16] X Research Source}

By delaying reaching out or showing affection to someone you like, you’re putting too much pressure on yourself and placing too much hope in a potentially unlucky interaction. ^{[17] X Research Source}
Don’t draw up a scenario of what will happen because you never know the future.
Apply the three-second rule: approach a man within three seconds of seeing him. This will prevent the brain from forming unnecessary worries.

Hold the guy’s feet

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Communicate effectively and sincerely. Communication is an integral part of maintaining healthy relationships with others. Even if you don’t really want to be serious with the person you meet, you still have to communicate openly with them. Don’t keep anything. If someone is bothering you, talk to them about it. Effective communication is when you remove the heavy stone in your heart without hurting the other person.

Don’t let negative feelings and resentment pile up because you won’t say it, and also don’t be overly critical or uncomfortable when it comes to your person’s personal character.
Try to express your criticism in a polite way so as not to hurt the other person.
When others comment on you, don’t be harsh. Instead, accept what they say and why they say it, and then talk more openly and honestly about it. ^{[18] X Research Sources}
Pay attention to what others have to say and listen more instead of stealing their words.

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Talk to the person about the seriousness of the relationship. This depends on what you’re looking for, a “one-night stand” or a long-term relationship. The guy you’re with should also understand what you want. Be clear about your wishes, don’t be afraid of them being hurt and deceive them. If you hesitate, by the time they realize it, the relationship will end in a way that couldn’t be worse.

You can simply say, “I really like you, but I’m not ready for a serious relationship right now. I just want to have fun and don’t want to be tied down. If you don’t want to or don’t want to meet I’m ready to let you go.”
If you want a long-term relationship, say, “I really enjoy being with you and just want to be with you. What do you think of a serious relationship?”

Steps

Meeting

Get the guy’s attention

Hold the guy’s feet

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