How to Forget the Pain of the Past

For your own sake, forgive others. When you forgive someone who hurt you, you are giving yourself a wonderful gift. You may get health benefits, including lower blood pressure and improved heart health, as well as psychological benefits, including less stress and fewer depressive symptoms. At the same time, your chances of having a more successful relationship in the future also increase. ^[1]

• Forgiving someone who has wronged you is a sign of strength, not weakness. This doesn’t mean that you ignore the behavior that hurts you, but that you don’t allow it to continue to bother you.
• Forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily mean you have to reconcile with that person. Depending on the situation, this action may not be feasible or a good idea. Forgiveness is simply removing any resentment and desire for revenge in your heart.
• Try to empathize and empathize with the person who has hurt you, no matter how difficult this may be. You need to understand that people often hurt others because they are suffering too.
• You should also forgive yourself if you are partly responsible for past pain. It is important that you acknowledge your responsibility, but do not wallow in it. Forgive yourself through empathy and understanding. ^[2]

Stop allowing yourself to be a victim. Even though your past pain was caused by someone else, that person is not responsible for your decision to continue dwelling in the past. The first step to recovery is taking back control of your life and understanding that you have the power to make your future better than the past. ^[3]

• If you continue to blame the person who has hurt you for any negative things in your life, you are allowing that person to control you. The next time this thought pops up, remind yourself that you are in control. Then try to think of positive things you can do to make yourself feel better.
• You’ll likely feel stronger as you take control of your recovery. To stop allowing others to control your actions and feelings, you should make a plan to let go of past pain. You can take the advice of others, but remember to remind yourself that you are in charge of your own life. ^[4]

Repeat positive affirmations to yourself. If past pain has damaged your self-esteem, take a few minutes to reflect on your most positive qualities. Every day, remind yourself that you are a wonderful person and worthy of respect. ^[5]

• Affirm love for yourself in many different ways. You can sing about it, write about it, say it out loud or whisper it to yourself. Create a work of art from a combination of affirmative words and store it where you will see it often.

Express your feelings. Allowing yourself to express the pain and hurt you’re feeling will help you relax. You can write about what happened in your diary or write a letter to the person who hurt you (but don’t send it). Letting go of your feelings will help you process your feelings and understand why the painful feelings are still clinging to you. ^[6]

Looking back to the past for a positive purpose. Usually, looking back on the past is quite negative, but if you choose to do this for a good reason, it can help you get over past pain. If you are constantly wallowing in guilt or other negative feelings about yourself, you should carefully examine past events to find the cause of the feelings you are experiencing. Then consider all the reasons why your negative feelings aren’t rooted in the truth. ^[7]

• This will work best for revisiting a traumatic event for which you unnecessarily blame yourself. For example, if you feel that you are responsible for your parents’ divorce or that your loved one’s betrayal was your fault, looking back at the facts will help you understand the source of your thoughts. negative. If you take the time to analyze the situation, you will notice that the negative emotion you are harboring is not based on facts at all.
• You should be careful in placing too much blame on others. The goal of this approach isn’t for you to perpetuate resentment toward others, but rather to help you realize what’s causing you to feel bad about yourself and how to prevent it.

Find the support you need. Depending on the type of pain you’re trying to get rid of, you’ll need different types of support. Don’t hide your feelings if you’re feeling trapped. Talking to someone will help you sort through your feelings, and sometimes just venting is enough to make you feel better. ^[8]

• Share with a friend or loved one how you feel, but remember to choose someone who is not related to the problem you are dealing with. Others will be better able to help you if they are completely impartial.
• Find a support group that can help you with problems (for example, someone who has lost a loved one or experienced childhood trauma).
• Look for an individual or group therapist who specializes in treating past pain and trauma. Your therapist can help you understand the source of your emotions and find ways to overcome negative feelings.