How to Forget Bad Memories

Avoid objects or places that evoke memories. Have you ever felt shocked when visiting places or being around objects that evoke painful memories? You probably don’t realize that they’re the triggers. For example, your bad memory is associated with an incident in elementary school, and every time you pass the school, you remember it. If you change your commute in the morning and avoid going through school, you can keep your mind from thinking about the traumatic memory on a regular basis.

• If you can completely avoid the triggers of your bad memory, you will gradually forget about it. You’ll have less reason to evoke memories, and as you go on with your daily life, you’ll be able to replace bad memories with more important thoughts.
• Of course, that doesn’t mean you can avoid triggers altogether, and you probably don’t want to change your route to work, or donate your sci-fi book collection, or stop listening to your favorite music just because the last time you saw them perform was when your ex said goodbye. If you can’t avoid triggers, either because there are too many triggers or you don’t want them to influence you, there are different ways you can deal with your sad memory. .

Do not stop thinking about the memory until it loses its influence. During the first few times when you think about a bad memory, you may let your guard down and become anxious and feel self-conscious. Your instincts will probably find ways to avoid thinking about them as much as possible, but if you try to suppress them, you will give the memory more power to do more damage when the memory happens to arise. Instead of trying to erase the memory, think about what happened. Think about it often until it no longer matters. And eventually, you’ll stop thinking about the memory so much, and when you can, you’ll stop feeling the pain. If you feel burdened by thinking about a traumatic past, go for a walk or do a brisk exercise.

• Remember that everything is in the past and try to relax. Whatever happened – people laughed at you, or you were in a dangerous situation – it’s all in the past.
• In some cases, thinking about a sad memory can be haunting. Observe your emotions as you continually recall the memory. If you find that even if you intentionally reminisce about it, it still has the power to hurt you, use another method to help you forget about your unhappy past.

Try changing the memory. Every time you remember something, the memory will change slightly. Your brain fills in the small gaps in your memories by replacing them with false information. You can take advantage of the way your brain works to replace bad memories with other information. In the end, you will be able to remember the memory the way you change it. ^[1]

• For example, suppose your childhood memory is riding with your father on a boat called “Pirate” and walking around a lake. In memory, your father, wearing red shorts and sunglasses, scolded you not to jump over the barrier on the boat and you fell into the lake. You’re sure these are the things that happened, but a few years later when you look back at the picture you took on that outing, you see your father in jeans, and the boat is called the “Kingdom.” . As you can see, memories are not always accurate, and they can be altered.
• Try changing the painful moment of the memory. Using the example above, if you still remember feeling scared and helpless when you fell in the lake, change it up by focusing on remembering how wonderful it felt when your father saved you.
• Every time you think about memories, they change a little differently. If you focus on good feelings instead of always thinking about sad feelings, your memories will be changed as you think. Of course they won’t be able to change from a bad memory to a great one, but they will lose the ability to hurt you.

Focus on good memories. Sometimes our brains are often “stuck” in the traumatic past. If you find yourself often wallowing in sad memories, train your mind to turn to happy memories. Don’t allow the unhappy past time to change your mood or make you anxious; instead, when sad memories begin to creep into your mind, redirect your thoughts to happier things. Do not stop practicing positive thinking until you no longer fall into the negative state of thinking about the past.

• Try the method of merging happy memories together. For example, if you keep thinking about a time when you gave a clumsy presentation and made the whole class laugh at you, match this memory to a memory of a time when you gave a good presentation and received praise. Always thinking about good memories will help you avoid rummaging through your memory for positive thoughts when you are dealing with bad emotions.

Learn to live in the present. Living in the present means “being mindful”. That means you need to focus on the present instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Being present is a great way to reduce stress and enjoy life more. Instead of spending time and energy worrying about things you can’t change, you need to learn to let go of the past and live with the present.

• We are often caught up in our daily activities and completely indifferent to everything going on around us. Instead of operating in an “unconscious” state, spend some time paying attention to the smallest details, such as sounds or smells that you normally don’t notice. This will help you redirect your brain’s attention to the present instead of dwelling on the past.
• Repeat the “reminder” when your thoughts drift to places you don’t want them to. For example, you can say to yourself “I am here” or “I am still alive”. Use phrases that bring you back to the present moment.
• Pay attention to your feelings in the present. Pay attention to your senses: what do you hear, see, taste and smell right now?
• Try sitting meditation. Most meditation methods help you to focus your attention on reality. Paying attention to your breathing and freeing your mind of all distractions helps you live more in the present. Regular practice of meditation not only helps you focus, but meditation is also said to improve mood. ^[2]