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This article was co-written by Connell Barrett. Connell Barrett is a love consultant, founder and executive coach of Dating Transformation, a relationship consulting firm he founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on the XRB Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expression. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmoppitan, The Oprah Magazine and Today.
This article has been viewed 9,126 times.
Want to flirt with a certain guy or girl on MSN, AIM, Facebook Chat, or other instant messaging services and you don’t want to look weird? Congratulations – by seeking help, you’ve proven that you have higher self-esteem than most online flirts. Refer to Step 1 so you can start flirting intelligently and respectfully.
Steps
Things To Do When Flirting
- There’s no reason to worry when it comes to IM (instant messaging) flirting – if the person you want to talk to doesn’t want to talk to you, they have the right not to reply to your messages, and you It would also be hard to tell this apart because from your perspective, they might just be not using the computer.
- This also means that, if you don’t know someone well , you can use an excuse to start a conversation to avoid embarrassment. Asking for help with a study-related problem is always a great way to start, as is asking a question about something impressive the other person has. For example, if the person uses a username associated with a band, you could say, “Wow, that’s a good name. Did you go to their concert last time?”.
- Don’t focus too much on chatting. A minute or two of chatting is great to break the awkward atmosphere, but too much can be boring.
- For example, after you have openly inquired about your partner’s interest in a band related to their username, you can ask them questions to find out what they like and don’t like. interested in music. You can even give your own opinions and suggestions. For example, you could say something like, “If you like that band, you might want to check out Manic Albatross – they’re similar to The Beatles, just stronger. What’s your favorite style of the group?”.
- For example, if she/he asks you what you’re going to do, instead of saying “find someone to flirt on Facebook” you could use a slightly sarcastic response such as “write a book novel” or “is drowning in his own suffering”. This answer can become a natural starting point for a conversation about hobbies, like the writing you’re doing and about that delicious bottle of bourbon you enjoyed yesterday. .
- Take our conversation for example, you can add a joke or two when chatting about music. For example, you could say something like, “I don’t know why lately, every song on the radio has a little bit of Texas Flynn in it. Maybe during his detox. still have time to record?”
- Joke appropriately. Of course, you’ll want to avoid heartbreaking topics related to the person’s personal life, career, aspirations, etc.,
- The line between being a flirt and a bad guy is thin, so when you’re in doubt about this, be careful. It’s easy to come up with another excuse in the future, but it’s hard to find a way to turn the situation around once you’ve hurt someone’s feelings. Using the example above, you can easily ruin a conversation about your partner’s favorite band by saying something like “God, don’t say them? Hahaha”. However, if you say, “They’re just fakers and their fans are the worst,” that way you’ll be less threatening.
- A word of warning – don’t use too many emoticons. During the conversation, you should only add them occasionally to sweeten your flirting and make the vague intentions of your statement a little clearer. If you often use emoticons, you will make the other person think you are childish or quite annoying.
- Make funny comments. Any form of flirting or seduction implies a certain degree of naivete. Understanding this naivety can do you a lot of good in making you more realistic and less monstrous.
- Using the band story above as an example, if the other person says that she/he thinks a particular song is pretty sexy, pretend it and add some fire to the conversation. Respond to the other party with a shocking statement such as “Be nice!” or with a grin like “Oh, that’s it? ;)”.
- Taking the band story above as an example, if you mention a particular song and the other person says it’s their LOTTERY’s favorite song, you might want to stop this flirting. politely. You can simply do this by typing in “Ah, I have to go. Talk to you later!”.
- If your partner responds positively to your flirting, form an interesting sign-off pattern to make sure your partner will always remember you. You can use emoticons. For example, sending the other person “Good night” may sound tedious and unpromising, “Good night ;)” can subtly mean that you will think about them (and vice versa). again).
Things Not to Do When Flirting
- In other words, this doesn’t mean that you should make fun of other people because it will make you look mean and petty. Any cynical remarks about yourself or others won’t help you when flirting.
- Instead of using too many compliments, focus on engaging and sincere conversation. You can think about the saying “Show off, don’t talk too much” . In other words, you can show your partner that you’re attracted to them by offering them a great conversation, rather than just blabbing about it.
- The rule that you need to keep in mind is to try not to be rude until the other person is the one to start . In other words, if you’re flirting with someone, don’t use profanity, make rude jokes, or make unhealthy comments unless s/he starts first.
Advice
- Quickly re-read what you just wrote to avoid typos/typing errors. You don’t want others to misunderstand.
- Do not be in a hurry when the other person is busy or does not respond to your messages. You won’t know what’s going on.
- Don’t reply right away – this will make you look desperate! Answer after a minute or two: this will also give you time to think about what you want to say.
- When flirting on MSN or other instant messaging programs, smile softly like “ha ha”. It will help your conversation and make others think that you enjoyed chatting with them.
- Honestly, but not too miserable.
- Make sure the story isn’t just about you or someone else.
- If the other person is typing slowly, you should also slow down to see his reaction to what you say. Is she/he shy or introverted? If they are extroverts, you should only make subtle suggestions. Do you know that person? If so, flirting online can be quite difficult because you fear the consequences. If you meet the other person on sites such as MySpace, carefully ask the other person questions to determine if things are real.
- Being eccentric in a sensitive matter is not a way to flirt. Of course, you can use some “hot” cues, but getting too eccentric about this can be annoying and awkward, especially if your partner doesn’t have feelings for you.
- Hugging is a rather intimate and powerful act similar to kissing but less provocative and it is quite suitable for flirting.
- Try not to be too obvious about flirting with your partner as this will freak them out.
Warning
- Try not to mention other people as this will make the person you are talking to feel uncomfortable.
- Similar to other things you do online, flirting can also be quite dangerous. Never give your phone number or home address or any other personal information to someone you don’t trust!
- Just like any other type of flirting, don’t get too comfortable and start complaining about life too much. You may be desperate, but don’t be too obvious about it.
- Don’t whine about your day, and remember to be positive.
- Avoid leading the story to a dead end. This is simply pretty lousy. Don’t flirt for fun. Only do it when you really like the person and want to send a signal to that person.
- Don’t send too many offline messages, it will make you look desperate. You can send them occasionally if you want to tell the other person that you won’t be online that day or if you want to say something important and you can’t wait until tomorrow.
This article was co-written by Connell Barrett. Connell Barrett is a love consultant, founder and executive coach of Dating Transformation, a relationship consulting firm he founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on the XRB Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expression. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmoppitan, The Oprah Magazine and Today.
This article has been viewed 9,126 times.
Want to flirt with a certain guy or girl on MSN, AIM, Facebook Chat, or other instant messaging services and you don’t want to look weird? Congratulations – by seeking help, you’ve proven that you have higher self-esteem than most online flirts. Refer to Step 1 so you can start flirting intelligently and respectfully.
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