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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
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This article has been viewed 36,798 times.
Whether it’s going to school away from home, moving to another place, or traveling, you can experience what’s known as “homesickness.” The symptoms of homesickness vary from person to person, but in general, homesickness can make you feel sad, distressed, isolated, or lonely. [1] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to the source You can also feel homesick and miss even the little things like the old pillow or the scent in your house. [2] X Trusted Source TeensHealth Go to Source Homesickness can happen at any age and in any situation; So don’t be embarrassed if you’re homesick. On the other hand, you can still apply many ways to cope with homesickness and learn to love your new environment.
Steps
Find a way to deal with homesickness
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Understand the causes of homesickness. Homesickness stems from the human need to be connected, loved and protected. Regardless of its name, the feeling of “homesick” you feel may not have anything to do with your home. All the familiar, comforting, comforting, and positive elements can all cause nostalgia when you’re away from home. [3] X Research Source Research has even shown that homesickness is a form of loss grief similar to the sadness of breaking up or when someone dies. [4] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
- You may even experience a “money” situation of homesickness. That’s when you feel anxious, lost, or haunted about your home before you have to leave, because you anticipate the separation you’re about to face. [5] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
- Young children and children under their teens often feel homesick more often than adults, although most people of all ages experience it.
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Recognize symptoms of homesickness. Homesickness is more than just thinking about your “home”. This is a condition that leads to a variety of emotions and affects your daily life. Recognizing these symptoms can help you better understand your own feelings and come up with appropriate solutions.
- Nostalgia . Nostalgia for the past occurs when you often think about your family or familiar things and people through the lens of an ideal. You may be immersed in thinking about your family, or frequently compare your new environment with your old one from a one-sided perspective. [6] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
- Feeling depressed . People who are homesick often feel depressed because they lack the support in life that they often have back home. You may also feel like you’re losing control over your life, leading to a worsening depression. Common signs of homesickness include feeling sad, disoriented, or feeling like you “don’t belong,” avoiding social activities, having trouble at work or learning, feeling helpless or abandoned, low self-esteem and some changes in sleeping habits. Not wanting or liking what you used to do is also a sign of depression. [7] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
- Feeling anxious . Anxiety is also a sign of homesickness. Homesickness anxiety can also lead to obsessive thoughts, especially about your family or people you miss. You may have trouble concentrating or feel extreme stress without being able to pinpoint the reason. Besides, you also easily become annoyed or “irritated” with the people you meet in the new environment. In some severe cases, feelings of anxiety can cause other psychological reactions, such as agoraphobia (fear of open spaces) or agoraphobia (fear of tight places).
- Abnormal behavior . Feeling homesick can take you away from your routine and change the way you react to things. For example, if you’re not usually a person who gets angry easily, but now you find that you get upset easily or raise your voice to others more than before, this could be a sign that you’re feeling homesick. You can also eat more or less than usual. Other symptoms include frequent headaches, or being sick or aching more often than usual. [8] X Research Sources
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Homesickness often happens to young people. Although anyone can feel homesick, young people are more likely to experience it. A few reasons are as follows:
- Children and adolescents are still not mentally stable. 7-year-old children in general are still not mentally strong enough to leave home like a 17-year-old.
- Young people often do not have much experience with new environments. If you’ve never moved, or haven’t camped away from home or gone somewhere alone, you’ll have a harder time than anyone who has had that experience. For younger people, this can be a whole new experience compared to older people.
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Keep familiar objects with you. Familiar objects that carry the word “home” can help ease feelings of homesickness because you have something to “cling to.” Items that have a lot of spiritual or cultural value, such as family photos or objects associated with your culture, can help you feel connected to your home country even when you’re away. go far. [9] X Research Source
- Balance the old and the new. To adapt to your new environment, most importantly, you should appreciate the changes you’re going through. Of course, you can still keep a few things that bring comfort from the family, but remember that you can’t and shouldn’t focus on the things that were familiar before. [10] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
- You don’t have to keep the physical stuff. For example, in the Internet age, you can watch a lot of things online from home.
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Do things that you enjoy doing at home. Research shows that doing things that remind you of home can make you feel better. [11] X Research Resources Traditions and rituals can help you cultivate a sense of connection to your homeland even when you are away from home.
- Eat food that you love back home. The phrase “food brings joy” did not come naturally. Foods associated with your childhood or culture can help you feel happier and more secure in your new environment. [12] X Research Resources You can recommend your favorite food to new friends to strengthen the connection between familiar things that provide comfort and new things that provide physical support. spirit.
- Participate in your religious traditions, if applicable. Research has shown that people who follow a certain religion or faith are less likely to feel homesick when they participate in these traditions in their new home. Finding a place to worship or meditate in a new environment, or even find a group of friends with similar traditions to yours will help you adjust to life there. [13] X Research Source
- Participate in familiar activities. If you’ve been on a basketball team or book club in your hometown, don’t hesitate to do your research and see if you can find similar activities in your new environment. You will have the opportunity to do something you enjoy and meet many new people during this time.
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Talk to someone. People often assume that talking about feelings of homesickness can cause or make homesickness worse. Research has proven that this is not the case at all. [14] X Research Source In fact, talking about your feelings and experiences can help you cope with homesickness. Conversely, not acknowledging your feelings can make the situation worse.
- Share with someone you trust. A student support worker, instructor, parent or friend, or mental health professional can listen with empathy and often give you advice on how to cope with your feelings. own feelings.
- Remember that seeking help from others does not make you “weak” or “crazy”. Strongly admitting that you need help is a sign of courage and self-care, not an act of shame.
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Write diary. Journaling is a way to help you connect with your own thoughts and see what’s going on in your new environment. Whether it’s studying abroad, going to college away from home, attending summer camp, or just moving to another city, you’ll experience many new and unfamiliar sensations, and journaling helps You follow your own thoughts. Research has shown that through journaling, you have the opportunity to look back on related experiences and emotions to alleviate homesickness. [15] X Research Source
- Try to focus on the positive. While feelings of loneliness and homesickness are obvious, you should also see the good side of a new experience. Think about the fun things you’re doing, or think about how new things remind you of the great things back home. If you write only about the sadness you are experiencing, you will make homesickness worse.
- Make sure your diary isn’t just a bunch of negative emotions and events. As you write about a negative experience, take a moment to reflect and write about why you feel that way. This method is called “gazing in the past” and is therapeutic. [16] X Research Source
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Do exercise. Research has shown that exercise helps release endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins can help you beat the anxiety and depression that often comes with homesickness. [17] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to the source Exercise with as many others as you can. This is an opportunity to socialize and meet new people.
- Exercise also helps strengthen the immune system. Homesickness can also make you sicker (for example, frequent headaches or colds).
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Chat with friends and family back home. This is how you feel supported and connected – so important in adjusting to a new place. [18] X Research Sources
- You need to develop your own confidence and independence to effectively deal with homesickness. Don’t let yourself focus too much on your loved one who is elsewhere to keep you from learning how to manage your new life.
- Talking to friends and family can make homesickness worse for young children or those who have been away from home for a short time. [19] X Research Source
- You can also spend some time on social media to stay in touch with your friends and update their status. Here’s how to make you feel like they’re so close. However, you should not focus so much on old friends that you do not have time to meet new friends.
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Avoid becoming obsessed with home. While keeping in touch with loved ones back home can be a great way to soothe, it also makes you dependent. Don’t let homesickness invade your life. If you find that you’re loitering around the house talking to your mom for the third time of the day instead of going out for coffee with new friends, consider adjusting the amount of time you spend connecting with new people. The line between staying in touch with loved ones at home and not adjusting to a new life is very small. [20] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
- Schedule a phone call home. Set limits on how often and how long you chat with friends and family back home. You can even write a “hand letter” in the traditional way. These are great ways to stay in touch with people back home without letting nostalgia stop you from enjoying the present.
Connect with others
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List the things that you miss about your hometown. When you’re away from home, it’s completely normal to miss your loved ones. Make a list of people you miss and what they brought to your life. What memories do you cherish? What did you do with that person? Which of their personalities do you like? Finding new friends with similar personalities to someone you know back home can give you emotional support. In addition, it is also a way to help you adapt to a new place or situation.
- Look for similarities between your new environment and the one you’re missing. Research on homesickness has shown that, when you can find the familiar side in a new situation, you’re less likely to feel homesick because you focus on the positive. [21] X Research Source
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More exhaust. It will be easy for others to advise you to build new relationships, but in practice it can be difficult in a new environment. The best way to develop a strong support network is to put yourself in a situation where you will meet new people, especially someone with similar interests as you. [22] X Research Sources Participating in a new activity will help you forget the feeling of homesickness.
- For example, if you go to school away from home, you can join a variety of clubs, sports groups, activities, and student unions. Here’s how you interact with others; many of them are probably just as homesick as you are!
- When starting a new job or moving to another city, you will find it more difficult to make friends. Research has shown that you may find it harder to make friends after college. [23] X Source of Research Consistency is the key to success: participating in groups that organize regular meetings such as book clubs or seminars is a way to make friends because you often regularly meet group members. [24] X Research Sources
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Share what you love about your hometown with others. One of the most important things you can do to deal with homesickness is to make friends. Having a strong support network will make it less likely that you will have problems dealing with homesickness, even if you feel it. [25] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source Sharing good memories of your hometown is a great way to boost your spirits and feel more comfortable talking about your hometown. [26] X Research Source
- Host a party so you can share your food and customs with new friends or acquaintances. Whether you’re studying abroad or just studying in another city, sharing your favorite food back home with others can help you feel better. You can organize a session to teach your friends how to cook your favorite dishes, or invite a few friends over for a taste of local specialties.
- Share your favorite music with everyone. If you come from an area that loves country music, you can organize a small get-together where everyone can play games, get to know each other, and listen to your favorite tunes. If you enjoy listening to jazz while at home, you can turn on jazz music. The type of music you choose doesn’t have to be directly related to your hometown, just something that reminds you of being at home.
- Tell jokes about a time you lived in your old house. Even if you’re not in the mood for a good laugh, try to share a few funny stories about what you love most about living at home. Sharing happy memories can help strengthen your bonds with your hometown and new friends.
- If you live in a place where another language is spoken, you can teach people a few common phrases in your language. This action is both fun and makes you forget the homesickness and helps your friends expand their knowledge.
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Brave. Feelings of shyness, awkwardness, or vulnerability are common reactions to homesickness. If you don’t take risks, you’ll miss out on an experience that can help you adjust to your new environment. [27] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to source You should accept invitations, even if you don’t know many people at certain events you attend. You don’t have to be the center of the party! Just being present and listening to others is a good start.
- If you are quite shy, you can set a reasonable goal such as: meeting and chatting with someone new. Over time, you will feel more comfortable with communication. [28] X Trusted Source Harvard Business Review Go to the source Focusing on listening to others is the easiest way to form a bond.
- Even if you can’t make any friends at a certain event or party, you’ve proven to yourself that you can do new, unfamiliar things, and that can be done. strengthen your confidence.
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Step out of your comfort zone. Doing the same activities can help you feel good, but most importantly, you should push yourself out of your comfort zone so you can grow and change. Research has shown that feeling moderately anxious, such as when learning a new skill, can help you improve your performance in mental activities or interactions with others. . [29] X Research Source Feeling overly comfortable can prevent you from adjusting to a new environment. [30] X Research Source
- Start with small steps. Trying to face your biggest fear at the same time can backfire. When you put yourself in a completely unfamiliar situation, you can feel overwhelmed. So set small, achievable goals to give yourself a bit of a challenge. [31] X Trusted Source Harvard Business Review Go to Source
- Try eating at a new restaurant in a new city. Ask permission to sit with a stranger at the cafeteria. Invite someone in your class to join a study group with you. Invite colleagues out for a meal after work.
Connect with the new environment
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Enjoy the unique aspect of the new environment. Finding ways to meet your own needs in a new environment can be challenging, but it can be very helpful in dealing with homesickness. [32] X Research Resources Connecting to new and exciting things in a new environment is a way to help you feel more connected to the place.
- For example, if you study abroad or live abroad, you can visit all the local museums, palaces, restaurants, and learn about the unique cultural traditions of that country. Grab a travel guidebook and aim to discover something culturally relevant at least once a week.
- Cultural experience. Even when you move to another part of your country, you may find that the local culture is somewhat different from your home country. Learn the local language, try new foods, and go to bars and cafes. Take a cooking class that specializes in local ingredients. Join a local dance club. Improving your intercultural communication skills is a way to make you feel at home in an unfamiliar place. [33] X Research Sources
- Ask locals about their favorite activities. You will be introduced to the place that sells the best burrito (Mexican cake) you have ever tasted in your life, or given directions to a beautiful lake that is not on the map.
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Learn languages. If you move to another country, not being able to converse in the local language can be a sizable barrier to your ability to integrate. Learn the language as quickly as possible by taking classes, chatting with locals, and practicing your new skills. You will feel more confident and stable when you can communicate with people in your new environment. [34] X Research Sources
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Get out more. When you choose to get out, you’ve won half the battle against homesickness. Of course, you will feel homesick if you spend 8 hours a day watching the movie Dat Phuong Nam alone. Instead, make it a goal to spend time out of the house, whether it’s going to a sunny park to read a book you plan to read at home, or going for a walk with a good friend instead. Do push-ups in the room.
- Work or study outside. Go to a coffee shop or park to do the work you plan to do at home. By being around other people, your feelings of loneliness will also decrease.
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Pick a new hobby . Finding something new to do can help you find your passion. This is a way to give yourself a positive, productive way to focus your energy and help you forget about feeling sad or lonely. Learning a new skill can also help you step out of your comfort zone.
- Try to find hobbies that are relevant to your new environment. You can find cycling or hiking clubs in your area. Take part in a local art class. Find a symposium organized by the writers’ association. If you can communicate while developing a new skill, you will feel more connected to your new environment.
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Give yourself time to adapt. Don’t disappoint yourself if you don’t fall in love with your new environment right away. Many people will fall in love with your new environment faster than you, but that doesn’t mean you’re out of the ordinary; In fact, some people may look like they’re having a great time, but the truth is they’re feeling extremely homesick. Be patient and understand that with perseverance you will overcome all difficulties. [35] X Research Source
Advice
- People of any age can feel homesick. Don’t feel bad if you’re an adult and still feel homesick when you just got a new job in a new city. This is completely normal.
- Self-soothing. Try not to focus on the distance between you and the people you know back home.
- Tell yourself you’re fine and you’ll see your family soon. Even if you can’t meet them yet, you can still call them via FaceTime or Skype.
- Breath. Sometimes you try so hard that you forget to even breathe. Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth until you feel more comfortable.
- Connect with others! Especially when you are a new student at school, you will feel like you are the only one who is homesick. However, if you talk to your classmates, you may find that they feel the same way as you do. Sharing your feelings helps people adapt.
- Don’t be so obsessed with your hometown, you should think about the great thing you accomplished during the day.
- Try coloring to clear your mind and help you focus on something. Coloring books for adults are always the perfect choice.
- Try to solve the problem. If you’re feeling sad and can’t pinpoint why, it’s a good idea to reflect on your feelings from time to time. Do you feel worse thinking about your friends back home? Do you feel sad when you watch an old movie? Try to identify what triggers your homesickness.
- If you move to another country, learn the language of that country as quickly as possible. When you can communicate with people in your new environment, you will feel stable in all situations and connected with people.
- Focus on the positives in your new environment whenever possible. For example, think about a new cuisine that you can only experience in your new place, not in your home country.
- Imagine you are at a favorite place in your hometown. It could be your room, a coffee shop, a library. Let’s start by thinking about the big details. The image will gradually appear in your mind and you can feel like you are at home.
Warning
- When feelings of depression and anxiety become severe, you may experience depression. If you can’t function normally – for example, you can hardly get out of bed in the morning, you have no interest in doing the activities you used to enjoy – seek help. mental health specialist.
- In some severe cases, homesickness can prompt suicidal feelings or thoughts. [36] X Research Resources If you are having these thoughts or feelings, get help right away. You can call 112 (or your local emergency services number) or call 1088. [37] X Trusted Source National Institute of Mental Health Go to source
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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 23 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
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Whether it’s going to school away from home, moving to another place, or traveling, you can experience what’s known as “homesickness.” The symptoms of homesickness vary from person to person, but in general, homesickness can make you feel sad, distressed, isolated, or lonely. [1] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to the source You can also feel homesick and miss even the little things like the old pillow or the scent in your house. [2] X Trusted Source TeensHealth Go to Source Homesickness can happen at any age and in any situation; So don’t be embarrassed if you’re homesick. On the other hand, there are still many ways to cope with homesickness and learn to love your new environment.
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