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This happens to many people at some point: You wake up in the middle of the night to strange noises until you realize–it’s your parents doing it! Or you come home earlier than they think and step right into your parents’ “private moment”. You’ve probably never seen this scene and don’t want to witness it. You can’t help but hear or not see, but you can deal with the situation and ignore it.
Steps
Coping when walking in the middle of their action
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Check to see if they notice you. In this situation, you are the intruder. Whether you leave early, don’t knock, or knock and then walk in – it’s you who is “annoying”.
- Stay calm and take a deep breath. [1] X Research Source
- Calculate your escape strategy – is the door far away, and can you approach it silently?
- Escape smoothly. If they haven’t noticed you’re there, because – um – are busy with business, get out of the room as quietly and as quickly as possible.
- Never mention what you saw or did, let it go and go on with your normal life.
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Apologize and leave the room. If they notice you, it’s still imperative to disappear from the frame as quickly as possible.
- Say “I’m sorry” and leave immediately.
- Behave normally when you see your parents again – and block their attempts to talk about what happened in a friendly “It’s none of your business” or “It’s our private time”.
- Don’t repeat the incident – they will be grateful.
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Calm the situation. This depends on your relationship with your parents and may not work for everyone.
- Smile and say “At least it’s not the plumber mom and dad” or something like that.
- Get ready for things to be thrown at you, and leave the room.
- Don’t mention the incident again.
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Make some excuse. This is also only an option if for some reason you can’t leave right away.
- Say you are looking for some socks, want to ask for money…etc
- Don’t show any emotion or feeling.
- Take any reaction – they might shout “get out” – then leave quickly.
- Shut up about the incident and focus on your own business. There are more things to worry about than a parent’s sexual activity.
Dealing with “sounds”
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Avoid that sound. This is a short-term, immediate option. If it drags on, think about how to avoid hearing that sound in the long run.
- Use earplugs [2] X Study source and headphones [3] X Study source to mask the noise.
- Soundproof your room. This is a long-term option, but it doesn’t always have to be expensive.
- Move furniture – this makes a difference whether your bed is against the wall or across the room. If possible, put the bookshelf against the wall shared with your parents’ room.
- Listen to music – whale sounds are very effective, because the ultrasound helps to drown out breathing and moaning sounds. Didgeridoo or vuvuzela are also good alternatives as they can drown out most sounds.
- Buy a device that plays white audio, or use an app or YouTube video with white sound. These devices come in a variety of sounds, and are designed to drown out other sounds for privacy – for both you and your parents. [4] X Research Sources
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Polite suggestion. Your parents may not realize that they are being heard. You can subtly hint them to be aware and prevent “disturbing sounds”.
- Send them a message. Take a tactful approach and don’t be too obvious. For example you just type “Noise”. They won’t be able to read the messages until they’re done, but they’ll be more careful next time (because there’s a chance there will be).
- Print the advice column “How to deal with the sound of your parents having sex” and push it through the door gap. Again, they’ll see the note when they’re done, and will be more careful.
- Don’t mention the incident afterwards. Pretend nothing happened, leave everything behind.
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Send them more candid suggestions. If they don’t understand your polite suggestions, try a more straightforward approach.
- Walk over to their room and shout out “Mom and Dad aren’t home alone” – this phrase we used to get scolded for as children and now the situation is reversed also creates humor and eases the situation.
- Play music that proves you can hear them at high volume, for example “Let’s talk about sex” by Salt N’ Pepa, [5] X Research or the Bloodhound Gang’ with “The Bad Touch.” [6] X Research Sources
- Hit the wall, use a broom or stick. This is probably the most delicate way, but they will still get the point.
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Ask your parents if you can move to another room. This is a long-term plan, but it depends on the availability of rooms and some other practical conditions.
- Choose a basement room, an attic, or any room as far away from your parents’ room as possible.
- Smile and tell them, “We’re all grown up now, and everyone needs privacy.” Not only is this an indirect way to tell them you heard everything, but it also helps protect your privacy in the future, which means they can hear you with your girlfriend/boyfriend.
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Talk to them. Only use this method when there is no other way – you can’t change rooms, they can’t understand the suggestions you send, and you feel like you really have no choice.
- Prepare for an awkward moment of silence – no one wants their child to react over sex.
- Be calm, mature, and friendly.
- Talk to them calmly, that some of their private activities turn out to be not very private due to sound and you don’t want to witness.
- Immediately change the subject, even leaving the room, it’s really not a matter of “discussion”, and your parents will be forever grateful to you for not prolonging the conversation.
Advice
- Remember that your parents are in a more embarrassing situation than you are.
- Remember that your parents’ pillow is what keeps you in the world.
- Don’t tell anyone what you see. There are things that should only be kept at home.
- Be grateful for your parents’ sex – it shows that their relationship is still healthy. [7] X Research Sources[8] X Research Sources
- Go to bed earlier than them and you won’t have to deal with it.
- If you don’t have headphones, block out the sound with a pillow.
- Many people like to sleep in ocean sounds, as they help drown out other noises.
- Ignore your parents by playing games, listening to music, and any other activities that distract you from them.
- If there are hats or socks hanging from the door, that is a warning sign not to disturb.
Warning
- Don’t linger or wander around, leave immediately.
- Don’t take pictures or “terrorize” them – this will damage the relationship immediately.
- Don’t scream or do other childish actions. Studies show that contrary to your initial reaction, children who watch their parents do it are not harmed for the rest of their lives.
- Don’t play music too loud. Your parents will realize you can hear you, but the whole neighborhood doesn’t need to know it.
- Don’t hit it too hard – you could puncture the wall or hurt yourself.
- Don’t ask like your parents are doing something wrong. They can get annoyed by this, and if they’ve asked to knock before entering the room, it’s not their fault.
- Don’t play music with profanity – your parents still need respect.
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wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 60 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 10,131 times.
This happens to many people at some point: You wake up in the middle of the night to strange noises until you realize–it’s your parents doing it! Or you come home earlier than they think and step right into your parents’ “private moment”. You’ve probably never seen this scene and don’t want to witness it. You can’t help but hear or not see, but you can deal with the situation and ignore it.
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