How to Comfort Friends Overcome Heartbreak

Let her find her own way. Each person has a completely different way and duration of grief. It shouldn’t be based on the length of the relationship or anything like that to determine how long a grieving state should last. Accept that she will need to find her own way in her own time. ^[13]

• This process will likely continue to test your patience, but you can’t force it to end. Everything will be successful when that friend is ready enough.

Help your friend with the little things every day. Sadness often spreads in a way that can distract a friend from shopping or maintaining other errands that we all hate to do even without going through a bad breakup. While you shouldn’t take care of your friend too much, offering to buy some essentials or even help her with the laundry will mean more to her than you think.

• By offering to help your friend with the little everyday things, you’ll be helping your friend in a way that no one else has ever offered. ^[14]

Have fun together. While it’s important to let your friend get over the grief for a while, don’t feel like you can’t have fun with her after the breakup. Especially for those who have been in a long-term relationship and have lived together, going back to being single can make them feel a loss of some part or of their personal worth. If the two of you usually plan to have dinner together every week or have other common routines, keep it up as soon as she’s ready. ^[15]

• These actions can restore normal life and help your friend bounce back.
• Remember that forgetting someone is not a straightforward process. Even when you get back to your favorite habits, your friend will still have good times and bad times. ^[16] So avoid urging or persuading them to return to their former state. Your friend is always looking for a safe, non-judgmental friendship in you. ^[17]
• This could be the perfect time for the two of you to try out a new adventure. Sign up for new experiences, like going on a hot air balloon ride or getting away from the city for the weekend.

Keep track of your friend’s alcohol consumption. While it’s not recommended, it’s perfectly normal to let her get as drunk as she wants for the first night or two after a breakup. However, when it comes to recovering from a breakup, make sure she doesn’t turn to drugs or alcohol to relieve her grief. ^[18]

• In addition to the dangers of addiction, a healthy body quickly creates a clear mind, and no one has enough time to sleep, eat or exercise when they party too much.

Focus on the things that make your friend feel better. While avoiding or suppressing the pain of a heartbreak is not advisable, those feelings will often subside over the next few days. Turning negative emotions into positive activities is seen as a way of purification. Find out what activities she’s participating in to clear her emotional wounds and encourage her. ^[19]

• Your friend might step up to exercise, take up painting or play a musical instrument, or even work twice as hard to get a promotion. Always be willing to support your friend with a variety of positive actions along with effective ways to manage the situation.

Let her be angry. During a painful breakup, anger often comes after times of confusion, denial, and sadness. Anger means that the friend has accepted rejection and has overcome the current loss. While she shouldn’t be angry enough to engage in negative or violent behavior, anger alone is not a sign of going back to the old ways.

• However, you shouldn’t let her think that all women or men are evil or have a change of heart. Not everyone is the bad guy when only one person hurt you.